Depending upon your situation it might be better to settle into the
comfort of ritual prayer.  You must know these feelings you have are
common and some elder in your mosque could help you with them.  If
there is a piece of you that wants to believe, possibly needs to
believe then you should seek help with an elder.  Becoming an apostate
should be avoided unless you have a significant support group of
already defected Muslims to help you.  Islam, I understand, is not
kind to those that leave the fold.  Understand that it's not so much
your relationship with God which is at stake here, it is your
relationship with your friends and family.  How will this affect these
relationships?

My family leaves me alone.  My son goes to church(Methodist) with his
grandparents and I work or sleep or watch tv for a couple of hours.  I
don't talk about the fact that I can't believe and won't believe.  I
just don't.  It's never been a topic of discussion.  They love and
accept me anyway as I am.  If you're confident your family will love
and respect you after leaving the faith then I say go for it.  Focus
the energy formerly used in prayer to better yourself.  Set goals for
more education, increased skill with musical instruments, singing,
dancing -whatever makes you happy.

Shalom,

dj




On Sun, Apr 19, 2009 at 11:42 AM, Rosey <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> I decided to start a new post as I originally intended it to be a
> response to the Purpose of Life post but felt it took another
> direction.
>
> First  off, tip of the hat to everyone in here.  I discovered this
> group by chance.  Second, purpose to life?  Ah, the frailties of the
> mind, I have been walking backwards as I've grown weak in faith.  I am
> muslim, I don't think anyone here is immature enough to negatively
> comment on such a label, but I do have one thing to say:  When I was
> more faithful to my religion and consistent with prayers I felt a
> sense of completion and calmness.  I could even say that I at one
> point I felt that I reached a temporary self actualization.  It's not
> the religion, but more or less the idea of maintaining spirituality
> that keeps one fulfilled.  Through my recent skepticisms and
> analyzations of religion as a whole I have been more distraught than
> I've ever been.  Is it an oddysey?  Why does one who has steered far
> from ideological beliefs that a supreme entity exists feel lost and
> agonizingly stressed?  Wouldn't one be better off just accepting and
> following religion knowing that they are abiding by its rules
> accordingly?  Isn't that comfort?
>
> Sincerely,
> Lost
>
> >
>

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