I could just quote your description back to you, Chris, and it would
also apply about 98% to me. I know that amazing feeling of falling
completely, unreservedly, in love where brain, belly and balls are all
focussed in just one direction. I think, for a good long-term
relationship, friendship (philos) must add itself to eros, if the
relationship is to have a chance. And respect, always respect -
something which isn't always easy to maintain when two people have
learned to know each other (including the weaknesses of the other)
really well.

That said, I'm solo for nearly a year now, having spent most of my
adult life in two long-term relationships. As of now, I'm still
enjoying it, although I do think I would rather see a partnership
situation in the medium to long term. Still, I certainly haven't
reached the stage where I actively go looking for it. Indeed, my
personal story has always been that serious relationships have started
out of normal, everyday encounters. But I've been lucky in that the
cataclysmic break-up of my last relationship early last summer
coincided with the move of my 17-year old daughter, who had been
living with her mother abroad since we broke up twelve years ago (so
that we could only see each other a couple of times a year for over a
decade), to live with me. So loneliness hasn't been a negative factor,
and we have a very good, harmonious relationship - the more so,
because we both had to work hard to sustain the relationship over the
years.

Writing this, it strikes me how deeply important the love I have for
my daughters (and theirs for me) is in my life. And my love for my
parents (even if my relationship with my father was characterised by
tension for many years). I feel very privileged in this regard, as I
know that being able to see one's experience of family (even "broken"
family in the case of my ex-wife and our children) as positive is
anything but inevitable - and should anyone question this, they should
just go and read gruff's story. The older I get, the more I value the
basic human unit of family as a source of dependable love (even if
families can also be theatres of incredible hurt and cruelty) -
something I certainly woudn't have said when I was in my early
twenties.

And then, there are also good friends, and brothers and sisters ...
Thinking about it, I live in a sea of love.

...

"Amor vincit omnia" is not a phrase I would categorically affirm. Yet
I can still say, yes, I believe in love.

Francis

On 30 Apr., 04:31, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote:
> And no,this isn't a wide open generic question. I'm not interested in agape 
> here, this is strictly for eros.
>
> I'm a hopeless romantic and serial monogamist. I fall in love hard and 
> quickly if I find someone worthy of such, put my all Into maintaining long 
> term romantic relationships, despite my personal challenges, and against all 
> logic remain a believer in the concept of a happily ever after relationship 
> despite a spotty relationship record and a generally rational to cynical 
> worldview on every other topic. Love is such a basic human instinct to me.
>
> Perspectives on Love vary drastically though, and I've heard a surprisingly 
> diverse number of them recently. So, I'm putting the question out to each of 
> you, not as a debate, but as an invitation to expound what your perception of 
> the nature of Love is, in your life. There are no wrong answers, so have at 
> it.
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