many people totally block out negative memories it seems. i remember when i first started chatting online i was responding to a girl who had been raped and was struggling with the pain and guilt of it. my comments to her somehow made another girl in the room remember that she had been raped by her own brother at the age of six. all of a sudden this dreadful memory that had been deeply hidden came washing over her with devastating results. i spent many months in private conversation with this girl until she finally got over it. it must be hard to work with memory at an early age, especially when those memories are bad and your only desire is to forget about them...
i cant describe the empathy i have for abused children...i remember when i used to think 'right now, some poor innocent child is being abused' and it used to drive me to tears. i forced myself to stop thinking this way and determined that it would be better to do something about it rather than let these thoughts eat me alive...which is why i developed a model for a ranch for these young people who have had their innocence shattered by abusive and vile individuals...i have the interest of several people to help with this venture and hope to put this together some day if my business gives me the opportunity... On May 19, 8:32 am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]> wrote: > My memory is a strange creature indeed, and truely I don't know how > much actual control we have over it. > > My dad tells me, for example, that I was constantly in pain as a > child, and not until I had a kidney out at age 10 did that change, and > so too did my personality. From being withdrawn to being gregerous. > > Now that is not what I remember. Yeah sure I do remember a lot of > painful days, days pissing blood and all that. However I remember > more all of the fun I had as a pre-ten year old. All the fishing I > done with my little brother, all the girls I chased at the swimming > baths,(yep I started early) and I remember having many, many freinds. > > Has my head then blocked out the worst of these 'pain filled' day? Or > is my dad lying to me? > > Well I just don't know. > > On 19 May, 10:39, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I dont know e_.......... recallig even good memories.. when the > > ptresent is not going good can cause further discontentment..... to me > > at least.. > > > On May 18, 7:59 pm, e_space <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > The following thoughts are opinions only and not stated as fact. > > > > My mind is getting foggy so I thought I would write this drivel about > > > memory down before I forgot it completely :-) In short, I am > > > reflecting how memory management has been beneficial to me. Sure, it's > > > nice to look ahead, set high goals and hope to achieve them, but how > > > one gets to where they are going says a lot more about a person's > > > character that the position they have attained. > > > > I have found it helpful to use the memory of significant incidents to > > > polish my desire for harmony and contentment. Extending special times, > > > staying in a moment of joy or accomplishment for as long as one can, > > > and recalling positive feelings in down times, can have wonderful > > > results, in my experience. Paying immediate and special attention to > > > negative incidents is vital yes, but stretching the good times and > > > zealously recalling them, seems to diminish the negatives until they > > > no longer hold merit. Doing this has worked well for me, so I am just > > > passing it on. > > > > Memory > > > From the time we are born, memories play an important role in our > > > development and contribute in many ways to make our lives better, or > > > worse. Memories can bring us happiness, sorrow, offer solutions to > > > problems, and help in our development and overall contentment. > > > > Crying in a certain way seems to bring food sooner, so even as young > > > children we recognize reactions to our behavior, and store them away > > > for future use. We learn that when mother gets a certain look in her > > > eye, or becomes uncommonly quiet, a modification in behavior is > > > usually a wise decision. > > > > We continue in life, storing good and bad memories. These memories can > > > be used as guidelines and tools to improve the quality of our lives. > > > Recalling incidents of events or feelings, and their corresponding > > > effects, can offer immediate shortcuts to the resolution of new > > > problems. > > > > Obviously, our intellect is a direct result of our ability to > > > remember. Although intelligence gathering and storing is an important > > > component of living a positive and progressive life, it's emotions > > > that govern our daily existence. How we make use of, and store, > > > factual information in our memories, determines our success in our > > > selected profession. How we store our emotional memories determines if > > > we are happy and content, or unhappy and discontent in our daily > > > lives. > > > > Emotions determine many things in our lives including what we should > > > do with our intellect. It guides us in mate selection, helps choose a > > > profession and determines how we interact with our family, friends, > > > social contacts and ATM machines. > > > > Likes and dislikes are stored vividly in our memories and create the > > > overall structure of our persona. Reaction to incidents is largely > > > governed by these recorded memories. What did we do the last time this > > > happened? What lessons did we learn then that could be applied now, to > > > bring the incident to a fast and clear resolution? > > > > Emotional memories can induce laughter or tears when brought to mind. > > > Extending these memories can bring about long periods of joy or > > > sorrow. It is therefore very important to manage these memories, > > > putting good ones on the top shelf, putting bad ones on the back > > > burner. Accessing these memories will help guide us in our effort to > > > deal with similar incidents that may occur in the future. > > > > How we store negative incidents in our memory has a greater impact on > > > our overall mental health than the storing of positive incidents. Many > > > people hide from negative events only to have them crop up later in > > > their lives, causing emotional harm and stress. One can't avoid > > > memories, but how we manage them can have a great impact in our lives. > > > The endeavor of these words is to describe what I have learned about > > > the methods of managing and using memory to improve the overall > > > quality of daily life. > > > > Good Memories > > > Rewarding incidents in our lives should create positive memories that > > > can be called upon at will. Reflecting on these top-shelf memories can > > > improve ones general contentment and elevate the quality of life. When > > > one experiences something wonderful or inspiring, they should keep > > > these memories close at hand, memorizing the feeling of the moment, > > > storing the warmth that the heart felt during the incident. > > > Concentrating on this feeling over and over again will solidify it in > > > ones memory. This feeling can then be called on to make one feel > > > better in down times. > > > > Bad Memories > > > Negative incidents usually have much more impact than good, and can > > > create extended periods of stress and unhappiness. If not dealt with > > > properly, thoroughly and immediately, they can fester and work their > > > way within, only to resurface at a later date, often with devastating > > > and long-lasting effects. Management of negative memory is probably > > > the single most important aspect in the effort to attain overall > > > happiness. It is vital to immediately identify the source of > > > negativity, understand the cause, somehow accept the action, live with > > > the consequences and learn from the affect. This knowledge can then be > > > stored as back burner memory, accessed only to eradicate and protect > > > should a similar occurrence arise in the future. > > > > Functional Memory > > > Using Memory as a Teacher > > > Since memory is the foundation of learning, having a sound and zealous > > > memory-management routine improves ones ability to process information > > > learned in the pursuit of knowledge. As ones knowledge base increases, > > > the capacity to compartmentalize, organize, structure and record > > > thoughts and processes also increases. This provides us with solid > > > memory-management foundation, making the recording and storing of > > > information much easier. > > > > Memory on Demand > > > A very important aspect of using positive memory to improve our daily > > > lives is to incorporate a routine whereby focusing on these memories > > > becomes second nature. A daily chore or routine can be used to trigger > > > the thought process. For example, one may train them selves so that > > > every time they brush their teeth, they will focus on thoughts and > > > feelings derived from a positive incident that has been committed to > > > surface or top shelf memory. This has the effect of keeping a positive > > > attitude close at hand, thus improving the overall feeling of > > > contentment in ones life. > > > > Memory and the Expansion of Consciousness > > > The memory of feelings may have a huge impact on ones conscience. In > > > meditation, it is important to cleanse ones mind of thought. Focusing > > > on previous emotions to begin meditation, on the other hand, can open > > > the door to sub-conscious realization. By concentrating on a pure and > > > blissful feeling, while putting out the welcome mat for spiritual > > > association, can often lead to rich experiences in the sub conscious > > > realm. > > > > Red-Flag Memories > > > When something has caused us pain or anger, the memory of this > > > occurrence should act as a red flag to help steer us away from > > > impending danger. As soon as one is confronted with a similar > > > situation in the future, the previous steps taken to analyze and > > > overcome the incident should be taken off the back burner and > > > incorporated into finding the fastest and most complete resolution to > > > the problem. Once a solution is obtained and the matter resolved, the > > > memory should be returned to the back burner. Using memory in this way > > > helps reduce the damage of a negative incident, allowing one to return > > > to a state of happiness faster. > > > > Therapeutic Memory > > > Creating Vivid Memories (Stretching the Positive) > > > When a really outstanding incident happens in ones life, logging it in > > > the top shelf of their memory can be very beneficial. It is possible > > > to stretch the emotion of an incident for extended periods of time. > > > This will burn the full impact of the emotion into ones memory, thus > > > supplying an immediate source of comfort or elation when life may be > > > less than enjoyable. > > > > It is important to focus on the emotions of the incident rather than > > > the factual aspect of it. What did it FEEL like? How can I store this > > > feeling so that I can have easy access to it in the future? What can I > > > do to automatically bring this feeling into my daily life? > > > > Moments of joy and bliss are often fleeting, only to be replaced by > > > life's customary feelings. Stretching these moments, and storing them > > > near at hand can drastically > > ... > > read more »- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
