Iam - thanks. Of course I;ve stolen them and sent them on as my own. So double thanks. Jim
On Jul 14, 7:35 pm, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > THANK YOU, ALLAN ! > > It 's 8.00 AM here. And, thanks to your post, I am wonderfully > uncoiled for an interview I have later in the day. > > On Jul 14, 11:07 pm, iam deheretic <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > Occasionally I get an email worth passing on, I hope you enjoy it as much as > > I did. > > > Why do we love children? > > *1) NUDITY* > > I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a > > woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark > > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the > > back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!' > > * > > 2) OPINIONS* > > On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from > > his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not > > necessarily those of his parents.' > > * > > 3) KETCHUP* > > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her > > struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the > > phone 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting > > the bottle.' > > * > > 4) MORE NUDITY* > > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker > > room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing > > towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then > > asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?' > > * > > 5) POLICE # 1* > > While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was > > interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my > > uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing > > the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police.. > > Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as > > she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?' > > > *6) POLICE # 2* > > It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the > > station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and > > I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he > > asked. > > 'It sure is,' I replied. > > Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally > > he said, 'What'd he do?' > > > *7) ELDERLY* > > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, > > I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was > > unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the > > canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of > > false teeth soaking in a glass As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage > > of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never > > believe this!'* > > > 8) DRESS-UP* > > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her > > dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.' > > 'And why not, darling?' > > 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'* > > > 9) DEATH* > > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard > > the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his > > 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper > > burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, > > then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. > > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with > > sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always > > said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he > > goooes.'* (I want this line used at my funeral!)** > > > 10) SCHOOL* > > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting > > my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they > > won't let me talk!'* > > > 11) BIBLE* > > A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered > > through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked > > up the object and looked at it.. What he saw was an old leaf that had been > > pressed in between the pages. > > 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. > > 'What have you got there, dear?' > > With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's > > Adam's underwear!' > > > NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT. > > > -- > > ( > > ) > > I_D Allan- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
