here too, me me... thks <grinnnnnnn>
On Jul 15, 9:18 am, retiredjim34 <[email protected]> wrote:
> Iam - thanks. Of course I;ve stolen them and sent them on as my own.
> So double thanks. Jim
>
> On Jul 14, 7:35 pm, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > THANK YOU, ALLAN !
>
> > It 's 8.00 AM here. And, thanks to your post, I am wonderfully
> > uncoiled for an interview I have later in the day.
>
> > On Jul 14, 11:07 pm, iam deheretic <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > Occasionally I get an email worth passing on, I hope you enjoy it as much
> > > as
> > > I did.
>
> > > Why do we love children?
> > > *1) NUDITY*
> > > I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
> > > woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> > > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
> > > the
> > > back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'
> > > *
> > > 2) OPINIONS*
> > > On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
> > > his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not
> > > necessarily those of his parents.'
> > > *
> > > 3) KETCHUP*
> > > A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
> > > struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
> > > phone 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> > > hitting
> > > the bottle.'
> > > *
> > > 4) MORE NUDITY*
> > > A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
> > > room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
> > > grabbing
> > > towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then
> > > asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'
> > > *
> > > 5) POLICE # 1*
> > > While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> > > interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
> > > uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing
> > > the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police..
> > > Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as
> > > she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'
>
> > > *6) POLICE # 2*
> > > It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> > > station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
> > > and
> > > I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?'
> > > he
> > > asked.
> > > 'It sure is,' I replied.
> > > Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
> > > Finally
> > > he said, 'What'd he do?'
>
> > > *7) ELDERLY*
> > > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> > > shut-ins,
> > > I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
> > > unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly
> > > the
> > > canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
> > > false teeth soaking in a glass As I braced myself for the inevitable
> > > barrage
> > > of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never
> > > believe this!'*
>
> > > 8) DRESS-UP*
> > > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> > > dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
> > > 'And why not, darling?'
> > > 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'*
>
> > > 9) DEATH*
> > > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> > > heard
> > > the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
> > > 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
> > > proper
> > > burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
> > > batting,
> > > then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
> > > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> > > sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always
> > > said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole
> > > he
> > > goooes.'* (I want this line used at my funeral!)**
>
> > > 10) SCHOOL*
> > > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just
> > > wasting
> > > my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they
> > > won't let me talk!'*
>
> > > 11) BIBLE*
> > > A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
> > > through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
> > > picked
> > > up the object and looked at it.. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
> > > pressed in between the pages.
> > > 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out.
> > > 'What have you got there, dear?'
> > > With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's
> > > Adam's underwear!'
>
> > > NOW IF THIS DIDN'T BRIGHTEN YOUR DAY, GO BACK TO BED AND FORGET IT.
>
> > > --
> > > (
> > > )
> > > I_D Allan- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
--~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups
""Minds Eye"" group.
To post to this group, send email to [email protected]
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to
[email protected]
For more options, visit this group at
http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en
-~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
