On 6 Aug., 22:45, retiredjim34 <[email protected]> wrote:
> Fran - why not consider both living deeply and living forever?  Jim
>
I'm really not sure, Jim, it may have something to do with the fact
that I generally see death as a natural ending of things - they begin/
are born, grow, develop, mature, run their course and then reach some
kind of completion and then decay, die/change into something else. I
am completely agnostic about "life after death," maybe I'm just
focussed on life before death ;-)

There are two aspects to my present situation which I think influence
my position deeply. Firstly, I am forty nine years old and live in the
reasonable expectation of having around another thirty years to go
(while, on another level, being of course aware that it could all be
over tomorrow). It is clear to me that I may well see things very
differently in twenty to twenty five years time.
Secondly, as a health care professional, I have spent twenty years
involved in geriatric nursing and the care of the very seriously
chronically ill. In this time I have had enormous experience of death
- generally in the context of the inevitable completion of life lived
(which is quite different to the experience of those who work, for
example, in accident and emergency centres). This experience has
undoubtedly helped me to see death as something natural and
inevitable.

Do I want to live forever? How should I know, I have no idea of what
it would be like to live forever! I do know that I want to live now.
To go further, I very much relish living now, am very attached to my
life. A decade or so ago, things were very different; as a result of a
mixture of addiction, depression, marital breakdown, job
dissatisfaction, etc., I didn't much care. In fact, I spent quite a
period surviving on the default option that, if it all got too
unbearable, I could just end it. In the end, I even tried. Strangely
(or not), the failed suicide attempt was the beginning of fundamental
changes - in a "positive" direction.

As I mentioned, I have no idea how I'll see things in ten/twenty/
thirty years time. I hope that my present affirming attitude to and
experiencing of life will continue. I like to think of me - when I am
very old and tired (well into my eighties, at least :-)) - rounding
off my life, seeing it as good and accepting my end with positive
resignation. To embrace it; as one poet put it, "to cease upon the
midnight with no pain." But when the time comes perhaps I will, in the
words of another, "rage against the dying of the light."

Francis
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