I have experiences like you describe Jim. It might have something to do with chemistry. Not the science kind but the relationship kind. I've found that I infuriate some people. Seriously. Me. Go figure. Other people seem to enjoy my company quite a bit. On a couple of occasions I've run into people I haven't seen in several years that, in my opinion, go a bit overboard in their excitement on meeting up again. They talked about stuff I'd forgotten about years ago and seemed to really remember liking me for some reason. I, on the other hand, remember thinking they didn't care for me that much. Weird. I think maybe they remember that TIME in their life rather then me specifically.
dj On Sat, Aug 29, 2009 at 6:53 PM, retiredjim34<[email protected]> wrote: > > BB - yes, I bothered to read to the end. Because these facets are a > puzzle to me. > I don't think the facets I'm talking about result from adapting > my conversation to the listener, although undoubtedly that occurs to > some degree. As I best understand it at present, I seem to show a > different aspect of me to different people. It is not a conscious > decision. Rather it seems to be triggered by the other person, or > result from a meshing of our vibes or whatever, and result (to express > it in extremes) in a dull, dense me, or a sparkling. lively me, or a > teasing, humorous me, or whatever. There is no conscious decision on > my part to show such a facet - for me, it just happens. Have you ever > noticed that - that different people bring out different aspects of > the total you, and not from any conscious decision on your part? > > On Aug 29, 10:24 am, BB47 <[email protected]> wrote: >> While you display much decorum, it is not like do not offer your own >> "cutting" opinions, at least from my view. >> Do I mean "cutting" as in "malicious?" No, not necessarily, and >> certainly not for the most part. Many things we say in here may be >> preceived as such, but "cutting" is also just an attempt to "cut >> through" to the "perceived truth" one might think or feel at this >> point in their lives. Most of what is said in these groups is an >> attempt to cut through, I really believe that, and not to cut others. >> Controlling how each message is received is very difficult! And yet >> just how they are perceived (as evident by the respose) "also" says >> something about each of us. It is all very complicated. >> >> While the bad kind of "cutting" happens too, it is often just dressed >> up in really nice decorum. I don't see that as any benefit, if it is >> really in there, in fact it makes the problem worse. But I am >> "trying" to view these posts as NOT having a malicious intent to them, >> after all, "we are all one...we are the mirror...how you treat others >> is how you treat yourself"...ect. ect. Well if you really believe >> those things then we need to look closer at just what we are saying, >> myself included. We might simply be trying to help by offering what >> we see as "not seen" or even the wacky idea of "the truth" even >> though we know we don't have it. It is so difficult to figure all >> this out, yet we keep trying. Put a gold star up there for "effort" >> on us human's report card for in trying to figure things out! >> >> Maybe my point is that some "need" to say some things, this is >> apparent, and the motive behind that need, while questionable, should >> not be judged too quickly. Some are more "direct" and "hold back >> less" but that does not necessarily mean they have "bad intent." I >> am not very good at holding back. This is obviously a danger and >> something that will no doubt "stir up" but honestly, I do not see >> that as a bad thing! >> does a painter try and "stir up" emotions? "Stir up" is also "a re- >> examination" isn't it? I realize there is a balance, and it may be >> easy for you, but not so easy for me. Expression is what we are here >> for. Does holding back expression do any good? Can we truly >> "protect" the receiver? Can we "insure" the "intent" of each post? >> We are obviously all different, and all take different approaches. If >> we assume bad intent, then there is going to be trouble. If we ignore >> what we see as bad intent there will be trouble too. I don't know the >> solution, but dressing up bad intent in a nice classy disguise does >> not seem to be the answer either. Not that you would do that! I >> believe you are a very nice person with genuine goals of seeking, >> feeling, learning, and you believe in harmony and peace. Those are >> wonderful qualities! >> >> As to Jim's OP, I do some adapting to other people, this is >> natural, but I am always myself. Are there different facets? Of >> course. Should we always "adapt?" I am not sure. If it violates >> something important in you I don't think so. Some core philosophy? No, >> but then that can be discussed. Everything needs to be discussed! >> That is my core philosophy! Hey, I discovered a new one! thanks for >> listening, if you bothered. >> >> On Aug 29, 6:05 am, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> >> >> > I had to give this one some thought, Jim, and examine the way that I >> > interact in a group. I'm not sure what you are going for here, but >> > for me, relationship and group dynamic always has time coming in and >> > going out aspects. I cannot say that I behave the same everywhere I >> > go, because I find myself sizing up the environment to establish a >> > comfort zone for the exchange - what others are comfortable with, what >> > I am comfortable offering. Issues of trust and trustworthiness are >> > present in every relationship and group, and they can take awhile to >> > establish. But even if the group is only together for an evening, >> > there will be a getting to know you period, a bonding period, a >> > deconstructive period, and a coming together before separating >> > period. Happens every time. >> >> > I also choose the topic for discussion based on the receiver's >> > receptivity. I don't try to discuss Esoteric philosophy unless I >> > first see interest and foundational knowledge. I have found that >> > allowing people their comfort zone can bring the best out in them. >> > However, there is also an edge where they will begin to feel >> > threatened and challenged if they are taken beyond it. I have noticed >> > that some people prey on this, and like to disturb and stir things >> > up. I take the other route, as my mother taught me that ladies and >> > gentlemen do what they can to make everyone around them comfortable, >> > and it is a good way to live. I think there is something to be said >> > for this kind of virtuous nobility. >> >> > All of this is to say that, while I am always me, I respect those >> > around me in each exchange, which gives particular flavor to each >> > exchange and may bring up different aspects, as you say, in me. >> >> > On Aug 28, 2:19 pm, retiredjim34 <[email protected]> wrote: >> >> > > I thought for a long time that I was the same “me” wherever I >> > > was and whoever I was with. But then, in recent decades, I began to >> > > notice differences in the “me” that was present, first with a few >> > > people, then more and more with more and more. For example, I might be >> > > witty with fast comebacks with one person, and yet with another I was >> > > more dull and boring. Even when I tried to lighten up with the second >> > > person, I did not seem able to – I couldn’t call forth the facet of me >> > > that was present with the first person. Hmmm. >> > > Have any of you noticed this? Probably everyone has, and just >> > > as probably many have written about it. Do any of you know if this is >> > > the case? And has anyone tried to explain the different facets of >> > > one’s personality that seem to naturally shine with different people? >> > > Or am I just nuts? Jim- Hide quoted text - >> >> > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - >> >> - Show quoted text - > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/minds-eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
