If you will excuse my naive thinking, it is imperfect but sometimes I
have to decide what to tell myself through the process of interpersonal
exploration. Naive because I will assume that I understand, as I believe
it to have truth value even if it only scratches the surface, you can be
the judge.
Justifications are a difficult subject, as we could ask 'why?' of any
thing at any point, though some believe there to be ontological
exhaustion according to the rationalized system of their choosing. I
don't pretend to comprehend them all, but the process of disappointment
hasn't failed me yet, each one eventually makes a sacrifice for the
purpose of a comprehensible system integrity.
These things have an effect on perceptions I think developing over a
longer term. Personally I've wound myself up into states of conceptual
context switching to the point of becoming nearly catatonic, switching
between objective, subjective, universal, absolute and never found a
limit to their attributes or interrelations. The odd twist for me has
been that both the 'existential' and 'spiritual' have been like this for
me. If the comedy may be perfectionism the tragedy would be paralysis,
perhaps that is the minds last resort and a very bad type of suffering
IMO. For some time I expected to find an indication of meaning and
purpose from objective analysis, the problem being that I ignored the
subjective experience and come to believe that I will not have one
without the other. For me the imbalance represents a dislocation,
pursuing one without the other would only generate states of anxiety and
depression. Eventually, I found that this was a cyclic occurrence which
I was fueling unintentionally as it became a hunger, it seemed humorous
that I was behaving mentally like a junkie. Someone once told me they
smoked rock because it made them feel like god, that makes a little
sense now.
When one integrates one of the available systems it usually comes with a
sense of security and continuity, a grounding. For one who is a traveler
of sorts, there seem to be far fewer mentors. It was important for me to
overcome society's definitions and see it as MY way. But I think it is
worthwhile to invest in one's identity as much as they pursue of
theoretica. Detachment, feeling non-existent, and long periods of
rumination are warning signs for me and it becomes important to catch
warning signs. That's hindsight BTW. I think the method may be of use in
your situation as well, even if it's just a starter from my meager
understandings.
Godspeed,
-Ash
On 3/18/2010 11:11 AM, pol.science kid wrote:
Greetings.. fellow eyers.. now.. i dont have much to offer rite now..
but only require some help.. haunted by this strange emptiness..and a
feeling of void.. without any reason.. it brings me again and again to
the initial post i posted at mind's...the pointlessness of
everything.. and the absurdity behind every action.. when the view is
from a different level..the endless justifications.. a never ending
chain..where justification for something is found in something outside
the thing...and justification for that outside it.. it never ends...
though it is not very articulately put...i hope i make my point
clear....it somehow makes one think of suicide... (no i am not
contemplating it)..;-)
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