Joe,
A sadness with crying in my heart in reading
this. Not in a suffering way, I add.
I remember standing in the hospital room with my
father lying in the bed. My brother and mother
standing with us. My father had passed into a
semi-conscious state. He could look with his eyes and
suggest communications. He looked around at us, and
we said how we loved him. We were just talking to him
in the room downstairs, but he had suddenly fallen
into this state in which they rushed him into this
room so they could better treat him. He had seemed
fine, and it had seemed the worst had passed not too
long ago. We all stared at each other. I knew my
father had said to me about four days earlier that he
was going to die shortly. I asked him how he knew.
He said he had wondered about this in others, but now
he knew, he just had this notion that it was his time.
He was tired, very tired he had said.
So we all stood looking at him. Him staring
back. Love you's given. I kept saying to him to
focus on the quiet. We had talked about this
quietness many times before. I said to him to settle
in what he felt was peace and quiet... focus on the
quiet. A few moments had passed in quiet, and then he
began to act as if he was choking. A tube passing
oxygen was going down his nose. The nurse, I remember
vividly, said that sometimes people don't accept the
tubes very well and that he was probably discomforted
by the tube. He made a choking sound again. Then
blood came out of his nose. My mothers screamed. The
nurses escorted us out of the room asking us to go out
in the waiting room so we wouldn't get in the way.
They nursing staff was running into the room.
Machines beaping. We waited, not very long, the
doctor came out. He had died.
O O
` ^
`---
`
SA
Joe:
> What would be dying? I have always surmised that the
> social level is the
> level of proprietary awareness (consciousness).
> When Louise lay dying her
> moan as I inserted a pain pill lasted till the very
> end. Though she was at
> home she was still hooked up to life-support tubes:
> nasal-gastro tube,
> oxygen tube, nutrition tube. As I looked at her, I
> thought what is she
> fighting for? She swallowed, she removed the oxygen
> tube, she pulled at the
> nutrition tube. My answer was: with all the
> paraphernalia connected she
> could not feel empty. The nasal tube was
> particularly upsetting because to
> keep a vacuum valve above her head the mechanism
> provided no Chromed bracket
> so I fashioned one out of a coat hanger. I received
> many words of
> displeasure about a coat hanger. It was not
> conducive to feeling empty.
>
> After three weeks the feeling of emptiness seemed to
> me was the most
> important thing to achieve. I had the hospice nurse
> remove the nasal-gastro
> tube, remove the oxygen harness from under her nose,
> remove the feeding
> tube. After that was accomplished, though she was
> recently medicated, she
> passed within 12 minutes. Before she was covered I
> looked at her. There was
> no disapproval on her face at a coat-hanger bracket
> or anything. Her face
> looked totally calm and at rest.
>
> Joe
>
>
> On 4/29/08 3:21 AM, "MarshaV" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> wrote:
>
> > Greetings,
> >
> > Is this to be the next topic? There is a
> technique which is to
> > practice imagined dying. Aren't living and dying
> two sides to the
> > same coin? Isn't this a topic that invokes great
> discomfort and
> > fear? What would be dying? Intellectual
> patterns? Social
> > patterns? Biological patterns? Hmm. Inorganic
> patterns?
> >
> >
> >
> > Marsha
> >
> > At 07:13 PM 4/28/2008, you wrote:
> >
> >
> >> When you are strong and healthy,
> >> You never think of sickness coming,
> >> But it descends with sudden force
> >> Like a stroke of lightning.
> >>
> >> When involved in worldly things,
> >> You never think of death's approach;
> >> Quick it comes like thunder
> >> Crashing round your head.
> >>
> >>
> >> by Milarepa
> >>
> >>
> >> raining again,
> >> SA
>
>
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