Let me guess Dan,

The following day, having pondered the koan, that same (now
less-hurried) driver went back, re-erected the sign, and approached
the temple with a more relevant open thought, and was welcomed with
open arms ?

Regards
Ian

On Tue, May 5, 2009 at 9:01 AM, Dan Glover <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
> Driving down the road one day, in a hurry as usual, I caught sight of a sign 
> just as I passed it. Curious, I made a u-turn and went back. The sign said: 
> Buddist Temple and just below that was a little hand-painted note that said: 
> All Are Welcome. So I drove into the compound. I parked the car in the 
> parking lot and walked into the temple.
>
> Your sign is misspelled, I told the young man at the counter. He laughed a 
> loud belly laugh. I thought maybe he hadn't understood me. I explained that 
> there should be an "h" in Buddhist. He laughed again, this time falling to 
> the floor and rolling around as he grabbed his sides with his hands as if his 
> ribs hurt from laughing so hard.
>
> About this time an older man appeared from behind some curtains, apparently 
> drawn by the laughter. Thinking that the older man was in charge, I 
> approached him. He wore a long orange robe and he looked quite regal from a 
> distance but as he got closer I could see many tattered rips in his robe that 
> had been carefully repaired and I could see his nose hair needed trimming. 
> The man looked very old.
>
> Hey mister, I said, I thought you should know that your sign out on the road 
> is misspelled. It should read B-U-D-D-H-I-S-T, not Buddist. He looked at me a 
> long time without saying a word. I thought perhaps he didn't speak English. I 
> looked over my shoulder for the younger man who could perhaps translate for 
> me but he had disappeared.
>
> When I looked back towards the old man, he had turned around and was walking 
> back through the curtain from where he'd first appeared. He waved a hand over 
> his shoulder as if motioning me to follow. So I did. We walked down a long 
> hallway, made a turn to the left, and then a turn to the right, and emerged 
> outside close to where I parked. The old man motioned me to get in my car, so 
> I did. Then he waved goodbye. So I drove off.
>
> On my way out of the compound, I stopped, pulled down the Buddist Temple 
> sign, and threw it in the weeds that grew by the road.
>
>
> ----------------------------------------
>> Date: Mon, 4 May 2009 01:44:29 -0700
>> From: [email protected]
>> To: [email protected]
>> Subject: Re: [MD] (no subject)
>>
>>
>> dan you *never* have to justify man
>>
>>
>>
>> --- On Mon, 4/5/09, Dan Glover wrote:
>>
>> From: Dan Glover
>> Subject: Re: [MD] (no subject)
>> To: [email protected]
>> Received: Monday, 4 May, 2009, 3:36 PM
>>
>>
>>
>> Hi KO
>>
>> Thank you for writing. I think you're right that it isn't good to be 
>> preoccuppied with the past. Still, to understand the world it's necessary to 
>> realize the temporary nature of it all, not to just pay it lip service. In 
>> that context, the most important thing to realize is the nature of suffering.
>>
>> In order to understand that, it seems best to examine my experience through 
>> my writing. When I write I find it impossible to relate the recent past; 
>> rather it takes quite a number of years to go by until I can do the story 
>> justice. So yes, I delve into the past.
>>
>> I know I can never accurately represent the world through my writing. What I 
>> can do though is draw upon certain emotions and feelings that I've 
>> experience in life and hopefully relate them in such a fashion that others 
>> may experience those emotions and feelings as well.
>>
>> We're only truly tested in facing adversity. When everything is hunkey dorey 
>> and the world is a wonderful place, there's no need to examine a thing. But 
>> when we're confronted with adversity, we're forced to examine ourselves. So 
>> for me it seems best to look at those particularly trying times in my life.
>>
>> Mi vida Dinámica was very difficult for me to put key by key to screen. It 
>> is without doubt the toughest piece of writing I've yet undertaken. The very 
>> rough draft I sent to you all here constitutes the heart of the story but I 
>> can see how I might endlessly add to it as I gradually remember other 
>> details as the direct result of remembering itself.
>>
>> When I see the bickering that sometimes goes on in this forum, I think to 
>> myself: how lucky these folks are! They have someone who cares enough to 
>> challenge their belief system and perhaps one day they'll better understand 
>> their true nature. As I am less inclined to bicker, I have only myself to 
>> challenge.
>>
>> Thanks again for writing, and your concern.
>>
>> Dan
>>
>> ----------------------------------------
>>> Date: Thu, 30 Apr 2009 08:42:50 +0100
>>> From: [email protected]
>>> To: [email protected]
>>> Subject: Re: [MD] Mi vida Dinámica
>>>
>>> Hi Dan,
>>>
>>> it was a pleasure to read about your first marriage but it seems from your
>>> account that you are still preoccupied by that long past interlude in your
>>> life. I suggest that you might resolve your feelings into a more positive
>>> outlook by making your current wife know the essentials of what happened
>>> back then; it is fair to her as she must see aspects of your behaviour
>>> shaped by your past experience that she cannot understand because she does
>>> not know of what happened to you; you would also honour the memory of your
>>> first love instead of denying it. Lastly, 'when the light of this marvelous
>>> world' finally starts to grow dim for you, then, that is the time, to think
>>> with all your imagination of finally meeting Yoli and Luis again.
>>>
>>> -KO
>>>
>>> 2009/4/28 Dan Glover
>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Meditations - On Loss and the Nature of Suffering
>>>>
>>>> "I was pregnant," Lila said.
>>>>
>>>> "How old were you?"
>>>>
>>>> "Sixteen. Seventeen when she was born."
>>>>
>>>> "That's too young," The Captain said. [LILA]
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> In the spring, she'd wear apple blossoms in her hair. The flowers'
>>>> whiteness contrasted so with the darkness of her skin and hair and eyes 
>>>> that
>>>> my heart bled and my breath sometimes caught short in my chest, as if I 
>>>> were
>>>> drowning in the spell of her beauty. Sometimes, still, when I am drifting
>>>> off to sleep or maybe just waking, I think I hear her voice... she's saying
>>>> my name; I fancy the way it rolls off the tip of her tongue with that 
>>>> little
>>>> hint of accent. She calls me Daniel. No one ever called me by that name
>>>> before and no one has called me by that name since.
>>>>
>>>> We married young. Her name was Yolanda. I called her Yoli. I remember she
>>>> smelled of incense and her lips tasted of peppermint and wild strawberries
>>>> and we couldn't touch enough of each other. Back then, when people talked
>>>> about us - and they did talk about this goofy gringo and that crazy Spanish
>>>> chick - they said we "had" to get married. They didn't understand. We 
>>>> wanted
>>>> to get married. The baby merely gave us an excuse. I like to think we 
>>>> taught
>>>> each other what it meant to love.
>>>>
>>>> We lived in Traverse City, Michigan in a little yellow house with white
>>>> wooden shutters on the sides of the windows and a big back yard surrounded
>>>> by trees in a quiet older part of town. There wasn't much work there except
>>>> logging, after they closed the plastic factory where we worked together,
>>>> where we first met.
>>>>
>>>> After that, I hired on to work with a crew that clear-cut trees and brush
>>>> off of hillsides up in Canada in an area about six hours drive north. Of
>>>> course it was too far to drive back and forth so we'd stay two weeks at a
>>>> time, sleeping in tents or the back of trucks. Back then we didn't have 
>>>> cell
>>>> phones or GPS. When we were on site there was no timely way of reaching us.
>>>> I needed the work. There were bills to pay and a baby on the way.
>>>>
>>>> Yoli was seven months pregnant when I left her to go north. The doctor said
>>>> not to worry... she wasn't due for a while. I'd only be gone a couple 
>>>> weeks.
>>>> She was seventeen and all alone; she must have been scared, but she never
>>>> let on if she was. I was eighteen and didn't know any better, or I would
>>>> have never left her side.
>>>>
>>>> A Jeep showed up at the job site three days after we arrived. I remember
>>>> seeing the dust from miles away. An uneasy feeling came over me. Whoever it
>>>> was, they were moving too fast for those loose gravel roads. There had to 
>>>> be
>>>> a reason. The Jeep came out of the trees and slid to a halt. A man climbed
>>>> out and came running up the hill calling my name as he ran. He said he had
>>>> bad news, that I better come with him and get in the Jeep and go back 
>>>> south,
>>>> right now. I did. On the way he explained that Yolanda had had a 
>>>> miscarriage
>>>> but she was going to be okay.
>>>>
>>>> When I got to the hospital I found out the man had lied; I couldn't blame
>>>> him. He probably didn't know how to tell me the truth. I wouldn't have 
>>>> known
>>>> how were it me doing the telling. Yolanda passed away shortly after giving
>>>> birth to our son. The doctor said he tried to save her but he couldn't stop
>>>> the bleeding. He tried his best. He assured me that everyone tried their
>>>> best.
>>>>
>>>> It was the middle of the night and he was just an intern and there was so
>>>> much blood. He kept saying it, over and over... there was so much blood, so
>>>> much blood... and shaking his lowered head and staring at his hands as if
>>>> they were still stained red while tears ran down his face. She had a
>>>> ruptured uterus; he didn't know what else to do so she laid there and died
>>>> while they tried to reach a real doctor. I sat there, listening, silently
>>>> weeping into a crumpled paper towel I had the presence of mind to stick 
>>>> into
>>>> my back pocket. I waited until later to do my screaming. Alone.
>>>>
>>>> They named our son Daniel. He lived for two hours. He was born too early.
>>>> We planned to name him Luis, after her grandfather. But no one knew that
>>>> save us. The priest wanted a name for the baptism before our son died. A
>>>> nurse suggested they use my name. I remember being a bit put out at the
>>>> time. Now though, whenever I see that name, his name, my name, I think of
>>>> him. I've come to see it as both curse and blessing.
>>>>
>>>> My brother and his girlfriend had a baby about that same time, a boy. They
>>>> gave him up for adoption. They said they weren't ready. We weren't ready
>>>> either, Yoli and me. But there was no way we were going to give up little
>>>> Luis. We were a family. I don't understand my brother's decision. We've
>>>> never talked about it but I bet he doesn't understand either. At the time 
>>>> it
>>>> appeared to me that life wasn't as fair as I thought it should be. I've
>>>> since come to see that I was wrong.
>>>>
>>>> Not long afterwards, I remarried, raised another family, and eventually
>>>> divorced. My first marriage happened so fast it's almost like it never
>>>> occurred at all. All I have left are a couple old wrinkled pictures of Yoli
>>>> smiling her smile into the camera and our cheap gold-plated wedding rings
>>>> that I keep together on a little silver-looking chain in an old tattered
>>>> shoe box full of treasures I've accumulated along the way.
>>>>
>>>> The kids don't know about my first family. I never told them. I saw no
>>>> reason. I started to tell my second wife but I could see she didn't care to
>>>> hear about it so I never brought it up again. In fact, this is the first
>>>> time I've come close to telling it to anyone in detail.
>>>>
>>>> I am not sure why I am writing about it now. I find it makes me very sad.
>>>> Writing out these beautifully terrible memories deep into dark lonely 
>>>> nights
>>>> helps give rise to the most vicious morning headaches. I can barely deal
>>>> with them; I'm not good with physical pain... and I never have headaches,
>>>> not like this, not until now. It seems better to write than not, I suppose,
>>>> but I'm in no way sure about that.
>>>>
>>>> Aspirin and coffee for breakfast allows me to face yet another day. It's
>>>> either that or whiskey and dirt. And I'm not ready for dirt. Besides, maybe
>>>> some day some distant descendant of mine will want to know who I was, and
>>>> why. Maybe these bits and pieces of a battered and bruised heart will help
>>>> tell the tale, for what it's worth. Maybe I owe it to them, somehow.
>>>>
>>>> I remember Yoli's mother hugging me at the funeral, whispering in my ear,
>>>> accusing me: ustedes hizo esto. All I could say was: Yo sé. I know. I felt
>>>> so guilty. I should have been there. It's been over thiry five years but it
>>>> feels like yesterday. I still curse myself for my ignorance. I buried Yoli
>>>> and Daniel together and went back to work. But just to tell the boss I 
>>>> quit.
>>>> I couldn't do it anymore.
>>>>
>>>> I've tried to live a Good life. I'm probably not the best father nor was I
>>>> as good a husband as I might have been. I suppose none of that matters as
>>>> much as it would in a more perfect world. Even knowing of this world's 
>>>> flaws
>>>> though, I sometimes think I should have more regrets than I do. If I
>>>> believed I was in control of anything at all, perhaps I would. I know that 
>>>> I
>>>> am not.
>>>>
>>>> I feel as shiftless as a broken leaf blowing in the brisk spring breeze,
>>>> bereft of even any hope of finding solace. I know I will finally land where
>>>> I will, lay there a short while, and then rot back into the ash from which 
>>>> I
>>>> sprang. It is (of course) the way.
>>>>
>>>> Yet, were I still a good Catholic I think I should like to believe that
>>>> when the light of this marvelous world finally dies for good I'll see Yoli
>>>> and Daniel again standing there waiting for me at the edge of some nameless
>>>> green forest with wide smiles on their faces and a deep knowing in their
>>>> eyes. Disbeliever that I am, I do confess to sometimes wondering though if
>>>> they'd remember me...
>>>>
>>>> "He stood there for a long time looking around outside. Then he looked back
>>>> down at her.
>>>>
>>>> "How old is your baby now?" he asked.
>>>>
>>>> That surprised her. That was a new one. "What do you want to know that
>>>> for?"
>>>>
>>>> "I already told you before I started asking all these questions," he said.
>>>>
>>>> "She's dead."
>>>>
>>>> "How did she die?" he asked.
>>>>
>>>> "I killed her," she said.
>>>>
>>>> She watched his eyes. She didn't like them. He looked mean.
>>>>
>>>> "You mean accidentally," he said.
>>>>
>>>> "I didn't cover her right and she smothered," Lila said. "That was long
>>>> ago."
>>>>
>>>> "Nobody blamed you though."
>>>>
>>>> "Nobody had to. What could they say. . . that I didn't already know?"
>>>> [LILA]
>>>>
>>>> Comfortably numb,
>>>>
>>>> Dan
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Mi vida Dinámica
>>>>
>>>> Somos arcilla sin voz, mi hijo,
>>>> todavía no se formó
>>>> antes de la memoria espléndido.
>>>>
>>>> (My Dynamic Life
>>>>
>>>> We are voiceless clay, my son,
>>>> not yet formed
>>>> before the wonderful memory.)
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
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