During our early life we began making agreements. Our parents rewarded us when
we did what they wanted and they punished us when we didn’t. We also learned
behaviors and habits in school, church, and from other adults and children on
the playground. The tools of reward and punishment were often emotional and
sometimes physical. The impact of other people’s opinions and reactions to us
became a very strong force in the habits we created. In this process we created
agreements in our mind of who we should be, what we shouldn’t be, who we were,
and who we were not. Over time we learned to live our life based on the
agreements in our own mind. We learned to live according to the agreements that
came from the opinion of others. In this process of domestication it turns out
that the choices we make and the life we live is more driven by the opinions we
learned from others than one we would choose on our own.
-The Four Agreements don Miguel Ruiz
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