Awesome!

 

From: James Hill [mailto:[email protected]] 
Sent: Monday, October 19, 2009 6:11 PM
To: NT System Admin Issues
Subject: RE: System Admin Checklists

 

Here's my BOFH inspired ones.

Daily: 

*       Check event log of every server, fix/try to fix as needed.

        *       Wade through SPAM emails sent from Microsoft System
Center Operations Manager or Nagios (aka Nag your *ss)

*       Creating new directories, shares, and security groups, new
accounts, disabling/deleting old accounts, managing account policies.

        *       Create accounts for people that started 2 months ago
that still haven't sent the required paperwork to the HR department.
Run random account lockout script to keep Helpdesk call no's up (helps
ensure IT staff job security)

*       Make sure backup runs and make sure the restore works as
planned. 

        *       Check last night's Big Bang Theory episode backed up
successfully.
        *       Google for today's Symantec Backup Exec hotfix.

*       Plugging Security holes, in both the OS and apps like IIS. 

        *       Upload latest version of Conficker and Personal
Antivirus to 0day warez folder on open FTP server hosted on IIS.

*       Exchange Management including DL's, users, etc.

        *       Take another 5MB off maximum mailbox size for all users
        *       Change notification for mailbox limits to every 10 mins.

*       Train the training people, helpdesk people, and end users. 

        *       Change the chimps water and top up the banana store.
        *       Copy this week's Michael Jackson album onto new helpdesk
chimp "Bubbles" ipod. 

*       Answer all important emails from CFO/CEO/IT-MIS Director. 

        *       Ensure Outlook Rules are still forwarding these to
deleted items.

*       Glance over T1-hookups, switches, hubs, make sure everything is
green.

        *       Check connectivity to Slashdot.

*       Check if Disaster Recovery Systems are still functioning

        *       Open fridge door.  Check it starts beeping after 1 mins.

*       Check for free space on all servers, for file pollution and
quotas. 

        *       Delete CIO's Blu-Ray rips of "Happy Days"

*       Ensure that antivirus definitions are up-to-date.

        *       Reinstall Symantec Endpoint Protection on every machine
so that it will work for at least 4 hours today.

*       Run defrag and chkdsk on all drives.

        *       That sounds like way too much effort.

*       Monitor WINS replication.

        *       1 minutes silence to thank god for the death of WINS.

*       Monitor network traffic with sniffer or NETMON to keep
performance up.

        *       Check QOS for torrent traffic is operating as expected.

*       Monitor Web traffic for indications of attacks.

        *       Monitor hot HR girls Facebook browsing.

*       Monitor user email for corporate policy violations.

        *       Read all emails blocked due to language and pornography
violations.
        *       Make copies of anything suitable for next performance
review.

 

From: Stu Sjouwerman [mailto:[email protected]] 
Sent: Tuesday, 20 October 2009 2:49 AM
To: NT System Admin Issues
Subject: System Admin Checklists
Importance: High

 

 Hi All,        

It's high time to update these, looking at all the virtual stuff we work
with now.

http://www.wservernews.com/archives/w2knews-20010510.html

Send me the missing items off-line (please indicate the categories) and
I will create a new one !

Warm regards,

Stu

 

 

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