Hi all! My first posting after some lurking....
<snip>
Open
> Game Content" including the game mechanic and/or source code
> means any work
> covered by this License,
ERROR: should be (d) "Open Game Content"
> (d) �Product Identity� means the names, characters, spells,
<snip>
> other visual or audio representations of, relating to and associated with
WORDING: I suggest changing "and" to "or". Nitpicking, but I think
that is the general idea here =)
<snip>
> 2. The License: This License applies to any Open Game Content
<snip>
> subtracted from this License except as described by the License itself. No
> other terms or conditions may be applied to any Open Game Content
> distributed using this License.
QUESTION: why? To me, it seems that this is a potentially very
limiting clause, but I cannot see how this furthers the license's
purpose...
Besides, it seems to me that this clause conflicts with the text under
7., below. There it says that the use of Proprietary material is only
allowed when negotiated under a different license. Am I missing something
here, or is this so obvious it has been overlooked?
> 3. Offer and Acceptance: By copying, modifying or distributing
> the Open Game
> Content (including the creation of a derivative work based on the
> Open Game
> Content), You indicate Your acceptance of the terms of this License.
OPINION: I think that *using* (i.e. incorporating into game
sessions) Open Game Content should not be allowed unless the user agrees to
accept the terms of the license (as is usually the case with software).
So I'd change the above to "By using, copying, modifying or distributing
the Open Game Content".
<snip>
> 6. Notice of License Copyright: You must update the COPYRIGHT
> NOTICE portion
WORDING: perhaps include COPYRIGHT NOTICE with the explanatory terms
above?
<snip>
> 7. Proprietary Content and Proprietary Trademarks: You agree not
<snip>
> Trademarks. The owner of any Proprietary Content or Proprietary
> Trademarks
> shall retain all rights, title and interest in and to the Proprietary
> Content or Proprietary Trademarks.
WORDING: this appears as another unneccessary sentence to me. Isn't
this made clear in regular trademark law already?
<snip>
> 9. Updating the License: The Wizards or its designated Agents may publish
> updated versions of this License. You may use any authorized version of
> this License to copy, modify and distribute any Open Game Content
> originally
> distributed under any version of this License.
CONCERN: authorized by whom? I feel that I would publish my materials
under the OGL earlier if I had the option to make sure that the license
would not change later in a way I don't want it to.
Furthermore, I assume that "The Wizards or its designated Agents"
will be changed to "The Open Gaming Foundation", when that institute
becomes a legal entity...
> 10. Copy of this License: You MUST include a copy of this License with
> every copy of the Open Game Content You Distribute.
WORDING: ...stating the obvious/dumb here...this conflicts with the
copyright
notice at the top of the license. I guess that wording should be changed to
something like
"The following text is the property of Wizards of the Coast, Inc. and is
Copyright 1999, 2000 Wizards of the Coast, Inc (�Wizards�). All Rights
Reserved. No permission is granted to reprint or redistribute this text in
any media without the prior written consent of the Copyright Holder,"
(change here)
"except as explicitly allowed by this license. To
request such permission, please contact [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Ryan Dancey)."
<snip>
> 13. Termination: This License will terminate automatically if You fail to
> comply with all terms herein and fail to cure such breach within
> 30 days of
> becoming aware of the breach. All sublicenses shall survive the
> termination
> of this License.
WORDING: to someone for who English is a second language, that
last sentence sounds a bit strange. The word "termination" followed
by "shall survive" sounds a bit awkward. What does "survive" mean
here anyway? Something for the FAQ, I guess...
That's it. Hope my input here is of some use =) Goodday, all.
regards,
Leo Simons
aka Chris Columbo
aka The Shadow
www.simons.demon.nl
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For more information, please link to www.opengamingfoundation.org
