hm, now this might be good for a presentation when you come out in December... want to do this as the keynote? <EG>
--- Tim Gorman <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > It's backup day today so I'm pissed off. Being the BDBAFH, > however, does > > have it's advantages. I reassign null to be the tape device - it's > so much > > more economical on my time as I don't have to keep getting up to > change > > tapes every 5 minutes. And it speeds up RMAN too, so it can't be > all bad > > can it? Of course not. > > > > A user rings ... > > The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on > a > gruff voice: > > "Payroll!" > > "Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number" > > "Yeah? Well, what's your name, buddy? Do you know *WASTED* phone > calls > cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted > time, my > wasted time, and the cost of this call from your wages! IN FACT I > WILL! By > the time I've finished with you, you'll owe US money! WHAT'S YOUR > NAME - > AND DON'T LIE, I'VE GOT CALLER ID!!" > > I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously > going > to try and get an alibi by being at the IT Director's office. I look > up his > username and find his department. I ring the department's executive > assistant. > > "Hello?" she answers. > > "BDBAFH here. Listen, when that guy comes running into your office > in about > 15 seconds, can you give him a message?" > > "I think so..." she quavers... > > "Please tell him, `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE!'" > > "Um. OK. Like, sure..." > > "And, don't forget now, please? I wouldn't want everyone to find out > about > that table in your account with all of your passwords for in-house > apps and > credit card numbers for ecommerce sites in it..." > > A muffled cry and I hear her scrambling at her keyboard. > > "Don't bother. It's been backed up a zillion times; piece of cake to > restore it. Just pass the message on like a love?" Over the phone, > I > can hear the distant sound of pounding feet growing louder in the > background... > > She sobs her assent and I hang up. And the worst thing is, I was > just > guessing about the table. I look for it, find it, and bring it up in > TOAD; > maybe I can do some shopping online tonight... > > The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, I pick it up... > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:34 PM > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > > > > That sounds about right! You can get back to your boss > > with a little sleep deprivation tactics. Beep him hourly > > with the progress report and he'll trust you much more > > the next time. You can even beep you bosses boss and tell > > him that your boss told you to beep him hourly with a progress > > report. That should read something like : "applied archive > sequences > > 789001 to 789567, 3456 more to go". That might result in some > > interesting career opportunities. One of these days I have to > > start my very own BDBAFH site. > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > From: Inka Bezdziecka [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > > > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 4:14 PM > > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > Subject: RE: DBA work load > > > > > > > > > It is your own fault. You should have called all interested > > > parties with details as soon as that problem was resolved. > > > And remember: if by any chance the problem resolution takes > > > all night, call hourly with the progress report. > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > Sent: Wednesday, September 25, 2002 1:04 PM > > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > > > > > > > Yes, of course. If, like last night, I needed to dial in > > > from home for 2 > > > hours then I get compensated by coming in early the next day to > answer > > > questions about what happened. > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2002 11:08 AM > > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > > > > Obviously, not all of those 168 hours are equally intense, > requiring a > > > conscious person to be available on-call (you *do* get > > > compensated for being > > > on-call during off-hours, don't you?). > > > -- > > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com > > > -- > > > Author: Miller, Jay > > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > http://www.fatcity.com > > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting > services > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message > > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and > in > > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L > > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You > may > > > also send the HELP command for other information (like > subscribing). > > > -- > > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com > > > -- > > > Author: Inka Bezdziecka > > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > http://www.fatcity.com > > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting > services > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message > > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and > in > > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L > > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You > may > > > also send the HELP command for other information (like > subscribing). > > > > > -- > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com > > -- > > Author: Gogala, Mladen > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting > services > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may > > also send the HELP command for other information (like > subscribing). > > -- > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com > > -- > > Author: STEVE OLLIG > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting > services > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may > > also send the HELP command for other information (like > subscribing). > > > > -- > === message truncated === __________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! http://sbc.yahoo.com -- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: Rachel Carmichael INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services --------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
