Nah - I go for the subtle approach -
'YES?' - very, VERY loudly! And looking them dead straight in the eye... (You should see 'em jump!) peter edinbugh > -----Original Message----- > From: Connor McDonald [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > Sent: 01 October 2002 15:38 > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > Subject: RE: DBA work load - BDBAFH #1 > > > My favourite when they come to your desk... > > "Ah, I see the f..k up fairy has come to visit" > > (Apologies for profanity) > > :-) > > --- Rachel Carmichael <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Paula, > > > > It just takes practice. You can learn to say no. I > > did. You just have > > to work up to it :) > > > > You start with: > > > > "If I do that for you now, I will fall behind x days > > on the critical > > project I am working on for you" > > > > move on to: > > > > "I'm sorry. I have too much to do" > > > > then to: > > > > "not gonna happen" > > > > and finally, either of the following: > > > > "what part of the word NO don't you understand?" > > > > or (my personal favorite) > > > > "failure to plan on your part does not constitute an > > emergency on mine" > > > > > > Try it, you'll like it > > > > > > > > --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > > Hmmmm. How come I always seem to be the DBA who > > can't say no - you > > > don't > > > seem to have that problem at all. > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > > Sent: Monday, September 30, 2002 3:58 PM > > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > > > > > > > > > > The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, > > I pick it up... > > > > > > "Database Administration, can I help you?" I > > answer professionally. > > > > > > Troubled silence on the phone. Politeness is a > > very bad signal from > > > me and > > > they know it. He was rattled. > > > > > > "Uh, hi, this is Joe, technical lead on that > > super-critical project > > > for > > > Benefits? Is this a good time? I have some stuff > > I need moved to > > > production?" > > > > > > The last was a statement, but it came out like a > > question. With a > > > slight > > > quaver in the voice, too. Excellent. Technical > > lead my arse. > > > > > > "Could you be more specific so I can schedule you > > appropriately?" > > > > > > He hesitated. Gosh, I sounded for real. I almost > > convinced myself. > > > The > > > victim approached warily. > > > > > > "I've got a bunch of PL/SQL packages and some > > outlines to speed up > > > the > > > queries with special hints. The scripts are all > > ready for your > > > review, they > > > include the create statements, the grants, > > everything. I'm > > > forwarding the > > > email package to you with signoffs from IT, the > > user department, and > > > your > > > own from reviewing our design and test results". > > This last was > > > delivered > > > with almost pathetic eagerness. Good boy. Good, > > simple, foolish > > > boy. > > > > > > If he could see me he'd be terrified by my grin. > > "Joe, I need you to > > > help > > > me out. You've just given me 10 minutes of work, > > but I'm due for > > > lunch in 5 > > > minutes. What do you suggest I do?" > > > > > > Joe knew better, he really did. But his team had > > been up all night > > > finishing and the prize was so close... > > > > > > "Look, I really hate to impose. But we've missed > > several major > > > deadlines, > > > and department head has made it clear if we screw > > up again he'll > > > outsource > > > the whole project and have us laid off. I need it > > now so we can make > > > sure > > > everything's perfect for the big production run at > > COB today". > > > > > > "Consider it done," I promised cheerfully and > > hung up. I surprised > > > him, > > > and maybe myself, with my good spirits. > > Especially since I was more > > > than 5 > > > minutes late, closer to fifteen, and my buddies > > were already into > > > their > > > second beer when I joined them for lunch. But the > > extra 10 minutes > > > had been > > > well worth it considering what I managed to do to > > those hints with > > > the > > > outline editor. Just the same, though, I turned > > off my cell phone in > > > case > > > the twit called to find out why his 5-second > > queries took almost an > > > hour. > > > Can't have him taking me for granted, can I? > > > > > > Later that evening, after quaffing several (all > > right, numerous) more > > > ales > > > with the boys, I dialed in from home to check how > > things were going. > > > Mr. > > > Tech Lead was still logged in, no doubt > > desperately trying to > > > determine why > > > things were taking forever. Poor Mr. Tech Lead, > > another sleepless > > > night. I > > > logged off, turned out the light, and slept like a > > baby. > > > > > > Next morning, hangover. The phone rings. I > > snatch it up angrily... > > > -- > > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: > > http://www.orafaq.com > > > -- > > > Author: Conboy, Jim > > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > > http://www.fatcity.com > > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and > > web hosting services > > > > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an > > E-Mail message > > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of > > 'ListGuru') and in > > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB > > ORACLE-L > > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be > > removed from). You may > > > also send the HELP command for other information > > (like subscribing). > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Do you Yahoo!? > > New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! > > http://sbc.yahoo.com > > -- > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: > > http://www.orafaq.com > > -- > > Author: Rachel Carmichael > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > > http://www.fatcity.com > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web > > hosting services > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an > > E-Mail message > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of > > 'ListGuru') and in > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB > > ORACLE-L > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed > > from). You may > > also send the HELP command for other information > > (like subscribing). > > ===== > Connor McDonald > http://www.oracledba.co.uk > http://www.oaktable.net > > "Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic" > > __________________________________________________ > Do You Yahoo!? > Everything you'll ever need on one web page > from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts > http://uk.my.yahoo.com > -- > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com > -- > Author: =?iso-8859-1?q?Connor=20McDonald?= > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). 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