My favourite when they come to your desk... "Ah, I see the f..k up fairy has come to visit"
(Apologies for profanity) :-) --- Rachel Carmichael <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Paula, > > It just takes practice. You can learn to say no. I > did. You just have > to work up to it :) > > You start with: > > "If I do that for you now, I will fall behind x days > on the critical > project I am working on for you" > > move on to: > > "I'm sorry. I have too much to do" > > then to: > > "not gonna happen" > > and finally, either of the following: > > "what part of the word NO don't you understand?" > > or (my personal favorite) > > "failure to plan on your part does not constitute an > emergency on mine" > > > Try it, you'll like it > > > > --- [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: > > Hmmmm. How come I always seem to be the DBA who > can't say no - you > > don't > > seem to have that problem at all. > > > > -----Original Message----- > > Sent: Monday, September 30, 2002 3:58 PM > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L > > > > > > > > The phone rings. Another user. Still pissed off, > I pick it up... > > > > "Database Administration, can I help you?" I > answer professionally. > > > > Troubled silence on the phone. Politeness is a > very bad signal from > > me and > > they know it. He was rattled. > > > > "Uh, hi, this is Joe, technical lead on that > super-critical project > > for > > Benefits? Is this a good time? I have some stuff > I need moved to > > production?" > > > > The last was a statement, but it came out like a > question. With a > > slight > > quaver in the voice, too. Excellent. Technical > lead my arse. > > > > "Could you be more specific so I can schedule you > appropriately?" > > > > He hesitated. Gosh, I sounded for real. I almost > convinced myself. > > The > > victim approached warily. > > > > "I've got a bunch of PL/SQL packages and some > outlines to speed up > > the > > queries with special hints. The scripts are all > ready for your > > review, they > > include the create statements, the grants, > everything. I'm > > forwarding the > > email package to you with signoffs from IT, the > user department, and > > your > > own from reviewing our design and test results". > This last was > > delivered > > with almost pathetic eagerness. Good boy. Good, > simple, foolish > > boy. > > > > If he could see me he'd be terrified by my grin. > "Joe, I need you to > > help > > me out. You've just given me 10 minutes of work, > but I'm due for > > lunch in 5 > > minutes. What do you suggest I do?" > > > > Joe knew better, he really did. But his team had > been up all night > > finishing and the prize was so close... > > > > "Look, I really hate to impose. But we've missed > several major > > deadlines, > > and department head has made it clear if we screw > up again he'll > > outsource > > the whole project and have us laid off. I need it > now so we can make > > sure > > everything's perfect for the big production run at > COB today". > > > > "Consider it done," I promised cheerfully and > hung up. I surprised > > him, > > and maybe myself, with my good spirits. > Especially since I was more > > than 5 > > minutes late, closer to fifteen, and my buddies > were already into > > their > > second beer when I joined them for lunch. But the > extra 10 minutes > > had been > > well worth it considering what I managed to do to > those hints with > > the > > outline editor. Just the same, though, I turned > off my cell phone in > > case > > the twit called to find out why his 5-second > queries took almost an > > hour. > > Can't have him taking me for granted, can I? > > > > Later that evening, after quaffing several (all > right, numerous) more > > ales > > with the boys, I dialed in from home to check how > things were going. > > Mr. > > Tech Lead was still logged in, no doubt > desperately trying to > > determine why > > things were taking forever. Poor Mr. Tech Lead, > another sleepless > > night. I > > logged off, turned out the light, and slept like a > baby. > > > > Next morning, hangover. The phone rings. I > snatch it up angrily... > > -- > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: > http://www.orafaq.com > > -- > > Author: Conboy, Jim > > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > http://www.fatcity.com > > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and > web hosting services > > > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an > E-Mail message > > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of > 'ListGuru') and in > > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB > ORACLE-L > > (or the name of mailing list you want to be > removed from). You may > > also send the HELP command for other information > (like subscribing). > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Do you Yahoo!? > New DSL Internet Access from SBC & Yahoo! > http://sbc.yahoo.com > -- > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: > http://www.orafaq.com > -- > Author: Rachel Carmichael > INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 > http://www.fatcity.com > San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web > hosting services > --------------------------------------------------------------------- > To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an > E-Mail message > to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of > 'ListGuru') and in > the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB > ORACLE-L > (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed > from). You may > also send the HELP command for other information > (like subscribing). ===== Connor McDonald http://www.oracledba.co.uk http://www.oaktable.net "Remember amateurs built the ark - Professionals built the Titanic" __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com -- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com -- Author: =?iso-8859-1?q?Connor=20McDonald?= INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services --------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). 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