That has been my way of being. Staying Open to life, no matter what.
So, humanity can have a chance. Spark 2012. 7. 31. 오전 1:30에 "Harrison Owen" <[email protected]>님이 작성: > Lisa said - "Harrison I disagree with you - I don't think conflict is > something that can often be resolved in a single meeting." You can't > disagree! If only because I don't think so either. What I said was - When > conflict appears, open space. That, of course, could be a single day of OST > - and I've seen that happen more than once - particularly when the conflict > arose because of some simple misunderstanding. Then again, opening space > can equally be a lifelong occupation, a way of being in the world.**** > > ** ** > > Harrison **** > > ** ** > > Harrison Owen**** > > 7808 River Falls Dr.**** > > Potomac, MD 20854**** > > USA**** > > ** ** > > 189 Beaucaire Ave. (summer)**** > > Camden, Maine 20854**** > > ** ** > > Phone 301-365-2093**** > > (summer) 207-763-3261**** > > ** ** > > www.openspaceworld.com <http://www.openspaceworld.com%20> **** > > www.ho-image.com <http://www.ho-image.com%20> (Personal Website)**** > > To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > OSLIST Go to: > http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org**** > > ** ** > > *From:* [email protected] [mailto: > [email protected]] *On Behalf Of *Lisa Heft > *Sent:* Sunday, July 29, 2012 7:48 PM > *To:* OSLIST > *Subject:* [OSList] OST Foundations again (Was: Re: Dealing with > conflicts)**** > > ** ** > > Hello, all -**** > > ** ** > > I am enjoying this conversation.**** > > ** ** > > Get a cup of tea, folks - this one is very long because instead of > responding to individual moments in this thread I am going to try to > combine into one message for your in-box.**** > > ** ** > > My observation is that many individuals - which therefore includes > facilitators - are conflict-averse. **** > > We see something we name as conflict, and we either want to avoid it or > solve it away.**** > > We are not very good at sitting with it; breathing through it. I am > talking about those conflicts where your life is not immediately in danger > but instead where voices are raised and people are angry and upset.**** > > ** ** > > And for some of our cultures - what one culture sees as conflict (raising > of voices, dramatic gestures, angry faces) - another culture sees as > passion or simply as expression and communication.**** > > So all those cultural filters are at work (us, our groups, our personal / > cultural style, our family-of-origin / relationship history - oh so many > things).**** > > ** ** > > So to me - as a facilitator - my job is to know..**** > > - what is the group's work (and what is my own internal work)**** > > - to breathe (and to breathe as a way to hold space for others)**** > > - to do thoughtful work (including the pre-work and analysis for / > selection of best-fit dialogue process)**** > > - and to care for self and others (in specific ways like making sure I am > hydrated, rested and fed, and holding in my heart and mind that their work > is their own and that I think they are amazing).**** > > ** ** > > Conflict without violence is to me - passion. Someone struggling to name > their own truth - which while not perhaps true for others, is true for > them, at that moment.**** > > ** ** > > Harrison I disagree with you - I don't think conflict is something that > can often be resolved in a single meeting. By a single intervention. > Resolution is not what I seek by offering Open Space as one of the possible > tools for a certain meeting. The ability to breathe through conflict - to > witness rage without blows - to be able to walk away (and walk back in) - > to hear another person's story (without trying to solve or change it) - > these are all the things that an Open Space (of two days, ideally) can > offer. Resolution? Take any human behavior - there are so many things that > inform and change and hold in place certain behaviors. The meeting is just > one part of someone's life, life history, life after the meeting, real life > 'on Monday', social norms, support for change and so on. But what the > meeting can do as the 'massage' so the human can witness their own inner > dialogue, feel witnessed, notice and wonder, try to articulate, stumble > through, step back and step back in? Amazing. **** > > ** ** > > I say two days ideally because in any process - including Open Space - on > Day 1 people are often naming their grief and loss. Day 2 does not > magically change that but with the overnight, with eating together, with > feeling witnessed as they tell their story again and again on Day 1 - seems > like enough people shift a bit on Day 2 to not lose their own story but > walk forward into imagining a slightly different story, together. **** > > As you say, Harrison, '...given the time / space to do it."**** > > ** ** > > It is what happens before the meeting and afterward that also count. Which > is why I think of Open Space or any other facilitated process as one in a > chain of steps of change and shift as part of a greater whole.**** > > ** ** > > I agree with Peggy - there does not necessarily have to be trust - but: > like any couple's relationship when they are having rocky times - they have > to walk in hoping / wanting / wondering that there might - just might - be > a light at the end of the path somehow back to each other. Or at least > (same as couple counseling) that in exploring some things together their > agreement to step apart will be more thoughtful and hopefully more kind. As > Peggy said: 'willingness'.**** > > ** ** > > And yes - one of Lisa's favorite topics: Pre-work. As I recall, Harrison - > and Tova, Avner and Carol if you are reading this you can correct me - > didn't it take something like a year of invitation for one of those OSs > bringing together Israelis and Palestinians? A year. Finding allies. Making > personal invites. Thinking how best to reach each individual and build > relationships. Lots of strategic, creative and passionate work on that > part, I am sure.**** > > ** ** > > Kerry - for me - as the facilitator - I think there is an issue about > trusting the people who participate. I trust them fully. I trust in their > ability. Not their outcome - not their path - which is theirs to inform. > But that humans are incredible. I trust the people and I trust the process. > **** > > ** ** > > I agree with the 'givens'. I think it is not useful to say 'this is what > you cannot talk about' / 'this is off the table'. Humans will talk about > whatever is the story within them that has the strongest pain or yearning > or discovery or passion - even if we want them to talk about 'x'. However: > An example of how a marvelous client of mine said this - Catholic Diocese - > this was the Bishop, and the OS was for strategic (pastoral) planning for > the next two years. "You can talk about wanting more women clerics in the > Church" (for example) and that is fine - but that is not what we have money > for to fund for this next two years of our strategic plan. We are not able > to inform or control that in our greater Church at this time - although > rest assured we remain passionate about it as well. What we *do* have > money to fund is in these three key strategic areas (Lay people in the > Church, Youth Ministry and Living Catholic Social Teachings - the three > areas identified by the parishioners for the coming years' focus). So you > can talk about other things but we hope you will also spend some time in > these retreats helping us with the three upcoming strategic plan issue > areas."**** > > ** ** > > So he did not say something was a given or off the table. He invited > anything anyone wanted to talk about - but encouraged people to think > within the diverse stream of these key identified-by-the-parishioners > areas. Nice.**** > > Usually: I think the client does not have to say anything. People will > talk about things and that's fine. Most will talk about what is named as > the OS task, and that is fine. Nothing derails anything. And yes, Kerry and > Artur - I do let the client know of what might happen, what could happen, > and are they ready for that. For surprise directions. For those certain > scary things being raised as an issue. For that same person who always says > that same thing to say that same thing again. And if they are fine with > that? We move on to OS. If not? We move to another process. **** > > ** ** > > Marie Ann - again I would try not to squish things into too small a > meeting time. People need and deserve the room to breathe, name, explore, > feel, make mistakes - the whole thing. And I like the idea of also giving > individuals witnesses - 'listening posts' - to share their own story with > one person and feel fully heard. There is a whole ecology of things that > can be done - together, and over time - to help a community having > challenges. And it did not take one day to fall into this situation - so it > may take many nutritious moments over time to help some people breathe and > shift a bit. Though other people might be fully-served by staying right > there in that painful story. **** > > ** ** > > I am also a strong believer in meeting a group where they are. Are they > asking for the help. How do they respond when you offer. Is it the time for > help or is it the time to fully witness exactly where they are?**** > > ** ** > > And how else do you show them to each other as individuals rather than as > positions. Do they get a chance to eat together. To do a project together > that is not about their conflict areas at all. Do they need to.**** > > ** ** > > Susanna - same question - should you bring them together to work on the > 'issue' - or can you mix and match and combine them in small and large ways > to experience each other in other ways as individuals. **** > > Should you be the event sponsor? Well - are you being asked to? You > mentioned not being sure the women's organization 'would be convinced of an > OS process'. '..try to convince them of the value...' That wording - is it > your job to convince or sell OS? Doesn't really work that way. Are you > meeting the group where they are? You might be - I don't know the answers > to those questions - maybe you do. And if it is decided to do an OS should > you facilitate? No matter how you feel you can hold space for all different > sides and viewpoints - how are you *seen* or *perceived by* others - even > if you do not feel that about yourself?**** > > ** ** > > My colleague Zach Metz - who does OS in high conflict zones in the world - > also really appreciates Public Conversations Project for some meetings - > sometimes earlier in the chain of meetings than the OS, which happens later > in the chain. I am not skilled in that but you might want to read about it. > It is more facilitated but Zach truly believes in participant-centered work > so I am guessing and have heard it is pretty amazing for what are perceived > to be polarizing issues.**** > > ** ** > > Susanna - it is not necessary the wording of an invitation that will get > people to show up. It is the relationships and outreach strategy - the > invitation strategy - that gets people to show up. Who is asking each kind > of individual. Someone who they trust? Who thinks like them? Who looks like > them? How and where are they being asked? In person? Over the phone? After > temple or mosque service? Over food? On a walk? What will work for each > individual so that they, too, will feel there is a place for them in that > room? Sure, the text and the messages are important also. But you see what > is most important - actions and relationship-building more than words > embody true invitation. In my experience, anyway.**** > > ** ** > > Oh dear I did go on.**** > > ** ** > > Thank you for your reading patience folks - who got this far - and for you > others - I trust you used the Law Of Delete... **** > > ** ** > > Lisa**** > > ** ** > > ________**** > > The Power of Pre-Work**** > > - August 8-10, 2012 - San Francisco, USA**** > > The Open Space Learning Workshop / el Taller de Aprendizaje de Espacio > Abierto**** > > - October 9-11, 2012 - London, United Kingdom **** > > (before the World Open Space on Open Space in London)**** > > - December 12-14, 2012 - San Francisco, USA **** > > ________**** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > ** ** > > **** > > _______________________________________________ > OSList mailing list > To post send emails to [email protected] > To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] > To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: > http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org > >
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