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On Oct 26, 2013, at 10:34 AM, Lourdes Adriana Diaz-Berrio Doring <[email protected]> wrote: > Reading your conversation made me think that a very good OS theme would be > about how new relationships start, for friends and other types because so > many people are using a lot of time looking for some "goal" or "tarjet" in > this sites where you ara suposed to find your "soulmate" ...a lot of time is > wasted socialy i Think! > And there is a need for a space to meet that's for shure. > But it would be so nice to have an OS where we could reflect together about > this kind of issues about control, surprise, willing to provoque a specific > reaction on the other person. > But it is not clear in my mind how the question could be framed but I feel > there is a need for a space where people having this issues could talk and > reflect about this topics. And see also that they are not alone in this. > Adriana > > > 2013/10/26 Daniel Mezick <[email protected]> >> A wonderful conversation in the works...my replies appear below... >> >> On 10/24/13 1:29 PM, Jenifer Toksvig wrote: >>> Dan wrote: >> Consider the man who loves a certain woman, and waits for the >>> current trend of her interest in him to change. He is goal seeking without >>> controlling. Likewise, trend-following market traders do not attempt to >>> create, control or make trends. They simply identify & ride them, while >>> seeking wealth. << >>> >>> Waiting and seeking are still forms of controlling. >> Yes, they are forms of governing one self. Actually, this is a very narrow >> and focused form of control: control of one's self. We often refer to >> this as 'discipline', which is distinct from the more general word >> 'control'. Self-discipline vs. attempted control of others, if you will. >>> Your loving man has chosen to wait for his goal rather than (to coin a >>> phrase) being prepared to be surprised by another woman. >> The man in the hypothetical situation has a current goal, which is to be in >> relationship with a certain woman. He watches and follows the trend of her >> interest. This does not mean he is blind to what the wider environment might >> be offering now. >>> He may not be trying to control her, but he’s still trying to control the >>> situation in a way that he thinks will allow him to achieve his goal. >> It sounds like 'the situation' you mention above is: "him or her self." >> That's discipline of self, not control of others. >>> >>> Those who seek wealth do likewise: they don’t randomly ride the trends, >>> they identify them and make choices about how to ride them, in order to >>> obtain wealth. That is control. >> Um, if you mean control of one's responses, if you mean self-goverance, >> self-discipline then yes. Controlling one self is generally a good idea, is >> it not? >>> >>> I don’t think it’s possible to be goal-oriented and try to exert some kind >>> of control over the process, unless your goal is… to have no goal. >> I think you mean >> "...I don’t think it’s possible to be goal-oriented and NOT try to exert >> some kind of control over the process.." >> >> If that's the case, I agree 100% goal-oriented requires self-control, aka >> "discipline". Trend-trading markets traders without discipline routinely >> lose money. Individuals without self-control routinely create problems for >> themselves. >>> Actually, even being prepared to be surprised is a goal. A sort of >>> wonderfully ridiculous one. >> Yes, and the statement itself is: directive. Wait, whats that doing in OST? >>> >>> Jen x >>> >>> Jenifer Toksvig >>> www.acompletelossforwords.com >>> >>> The Copenhagen Interpretation >>> www.thecopenhageninterpretation.co.uk >>> >>> >>> >>> _______________________________________________ >>> OSList mailing list >>> To post send emails to [email protected] >>> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >>> To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: >>> http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org >> >> -- >> Daniel Mezick, President >> >> New Technology Solutions Inc. >> >> (203) 915 7248 (cell) >> >> Bio. Blog. Twitter. >> >> Examine my new book: The Culture Game : Tools for the Agile Manager. >> >> Explore Agile Team Training and Coaching. >> >> Explore the Agile Boston Community. >> >> >> _______________________________________________ >> OSList mailing list >> To post send emails to [email protected] >> To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >> To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: >> http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org > > > > -- > > Adriana Díaz-Berrio Ph.D. CRHA > (514) 739 2268 > www.diazberrio.com > > _______________________________________________ > OSList mailing list > To post send emails to [email protected] > To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] > To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: > http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org
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