Hey Ron,
   
  I find that at most ALFs and nursing homes the activities departments are 
good at offering interesting things for the women to do, but lack in their 
attraction to men.  Face it, Bingo is not a top of the list for most men.  I 
have seen one nursing home that hired a group that brought a large pool that 
was stocked with fish.  The men were all over this.  
   
  The other thing is that men, in general, socialize as part of engagement in 
more material matters (i.e. standing over an ice chest of fish and telling 
fishing jokes.)  Women, in general, socialize for the purpose of socialization. 
 They tend to comunicate on a deeper level then what is typically observed of 
men in a gathering.
   
  Just my two cents.  Hope its worth at least that.
   
  Jim Arceneaux

susanne <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
  Ron Carson wrote:
> Hello Everyone:
>
> I provide OT and an ALF. It's a 33 bed facility that is
> mostly women but
> has about 5 or 6 men. Some of the men have been here for
> years. They are
> in varying states of physical and mental health, but
> they are all able
> to participate in life. BUT, they don't!! The women
> get together and
> chat and socialize, but the men stay so isolated from
> each other. WHY?

Maybe their idea of participating in life is to do something 
outside of the place where they live, sleep, eat - and with 
someone else? Like, they went out to work all their life - 
they might still want to spend some of their day somewhere 
else?
>
> I know that I am not an overly social person. I
> don't hang out with
> other men just to talk. In fact, I'm uncomfortable in
> social situations
> that don't have goals.

I'm with you about the goals - and I guess some of us prefer 
them more visible, or physical... But I also have a picture 
coming up for me of Turkish cafés filled with retired men, 
playing backgammon, smoking and drinking tea (or Raki) all 
day long. And students of both sexes, with books and 
laptops, spending all day in the cafés that have free refill 
of coffee. Lots of chatting and socializing going on..
>
> Is the lack of male socialization just part of the
> male condition? Or
> has the right opportunity just no presented itself
> to bring the men
> together?

5 or 6 is not a lot - might not appear to them that they 
have much in common. But maybe if they went different places 
during daytime, they'd have something to discuss at the end 
of the day - or would like to tell the ladies about their 
day. Any possibilities in the local area? Or just outside - 
some hens to look after and a nice bench to hang out?

susanne, denmark


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