Isis, The bit about tearing worse the next time is rubbish. So continue to trust your instincts and birth your way with your chosen midwife next time and you'll be fine. I too had a bad tear the first time, was talked into an elective epis the second time and had a smaller tear the third time. Even the third degree tear healed better and was less painful than the episiotomy. I agree that the stranded beatle position wouldn't have helped and so that is the thing to avoid next time.
Andrea Q

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