RE: [ozmidwifery] vaginal wall tearing

[Larry & Megan]

My heart goes out to you, I'm not a midwife but I know enough to know youv'e been bullied. I had a second degree tear with my first which I think was brought on by obs coaching to push my baby out. Second baby was born at home in the water, wonderful midwife and only my breath and involuntary pushing to birth my baby, small first degree tear, no stitching required. Third baby at home, same results. I also had a physiological third stage for both bubs at home. I truly believe that you must have faith in what you are trying to do and must also have faith in those supporting you. I don't know what options you have regarding who you birth with, but it may be worth seeking other care providers. We did our homework, and were greatly supported by our midwife, we accepted the associated risks and birthed as best we could. It is important to be informed of possible adverse outcomes, but this can't be your focus, or your carers. Nows a good time to be with like minded people, reading positive birth stories, be kind to yourself and take a breath to get back on track for the birth of your baby. I hope you are feeling better, and your birth goes well, love Megan          -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]On Behalf Of Isis and Andrew Caple Sent: Wednesday, 16 July 2003 9:27 To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] vaginal wall tearing I apologize in advance for rehashing an old topic of discussion, but I need to get this off my chest.   I had a 36 week ANC appointment with one of the hospital OB�s yesterday and I left the appointment shaking with anger. I also left questioning my own wishes and plans. I was asked if I realized the risks of a VB due to my tear. I answered to the affirmative. I was asked if I truly appreciated the �great� possibilities of incontinence if I had a VB. I answered yes, but didn�t engage in a debate over the actual research done and what may cause the incontinence.. I was then asked how I felt in the event of a successful VB, with no tear, still meaning that 10-20-30-40 years down the track I would most likely still need a colostomy bag due to the damage to the perineal nerves/muscles- all linking back to my �ungiving� scar tissue and my adamant wish to have a VB. How does he expect me to feel, with this doom and gloom prediction being spouted in an extremely patronizing tone of voice?  He went on and on for about 6-7 minutes about how I must realize the risks that my choices could entail. I felt my face getting hot, I felt sweat beading on my upper lip, I started shaking. The only part of my wishes that he actually �approved� was the possibility of an episiotomy..  Then he started on my wish for a physiological 3rd stage- again predicting doom and gloom. His exact wording was �Sure it is great to have a natural delivery of the placenta, but you can also die naturally from massive blood loss. Did you know that a PPH can mean that blood is running with the speed of a household tap and before you know it you have lost 3000cc of blood?� I just nodded dumbly in shock and disbelief..   Today I doubt myself, my abilities, my wishes, my knowledge, my body. I feel physically sick, thinking of all the women who go to see a doctor and end up being scared into submission. No wonder the rates of intervention are so high, no wonder the concept of a normal, natural birth doesn�t actually mean what it sounds like..   I am scared of this birth, I am wavering in my resolve to not have a c-section just in case. I feel empty.