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Isis,
I think that you really should talk to Maree
Dell the midwifery manager at the hospital. She is a good woman and very woman
friendly. She needs to know that this is how you were treated at the Geelong
Hospital.
There are lots and lots of stories about women
having terrrible tearing surviving and being transformed by a second birth.
I was with a woman last year with her second
baby at home after 4th degree tear who had her next baby with tear that did need
suturing but really happy.
I also know women who choose to have a C/S.
It all depends upon what you really want. Do you
choose major abdominal surgery to avoid possible problems post vaginal birth? It
is a really hard decision. There are no simple answers.
What is the real risk or re-tearing? Take
into consideretion that you are having 'traditional' labour ward
management? Do you have a birth plan? Have you made it really clear that you
want 2nd stage without active pushing and without hurring the birth of the head.
As with many hospitals there are midwives who are comfortable with that and
others who are really frightened by a baby 'on the perineum'.
Considering your 'need' visit Maree Dell and
sugest that you need a midwife you know to be with you so that you don't have to
negotiate this with a midwife on the day. They have been known to caseload for
women with special needs and I would say that you are one of these. You can
ask Maree for a midwife who would be comfortable with your needs. It is
possible.
If you have a C/S and have
complications can you live with that
decision?
If you have a VB and have complications can you
live with that decision?
Go talk with Maree. Tell her I told you to
come.
Love Sally
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, July 16, 2003 10:33
AM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] vaginal wall
tearing
I am actually under
the care of the midwives clinic attached to the Geelong Hospital and I have loved all
the midwives that I have met so far. They are all very supportive of my wishes
and ideas. I had a laugh with the last midwife I saw about the fact that I
would be propositioned by the OB at this appointment
to have a c-sec. But I didn�t dream that I would face what I did.. I
understand about liability, responsibility, �harm minimisation� and all the
stuff that makes up hospital policy- but I never expected to feel so ridiculed
by someone who should be glad that I am willing to take responsibility for my
body and the birth of our child.. Informed choices, informed decisions are
what we are told to make these days- but �they� forgot to mention that if
these choices/decisions aren�t what is recommended, then shock tactics may be
introduced.
If anyone out there
does know of a woman who has experienced a tear like mine, then gone on to
�survive� a subsequent VB, I would really appreciate hearing their story. Even
any of you lovely ladies out there that have cared for women like me, I would
love to hear a positive story/outcome..
-----Original
Message-----
From:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Larry &
Megan
Sent: Wednesday, 16
July 2003 10:52 AM
To:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] vaginal wall
tearing
My heart
goes out to you, I'm not a midwife but I know enough to know youv'e been
bullied.
I had a
second degree tear with my first which I think was brought on by obs coaching
to push my baby out. Second baby was born at home in the water, wonderful
midwife and only my breath and involuntary pushing to birth my baby, small
first degree tear, no stitching required. Third baby at home, same results. I
also had a physiological third stage for both bubs at home.
I truly
believe that you must have faith in what you are trying to do and must also
have faith in those supporting you. I don't know what options you have
regarding who you birth with, but it may be worth seeking other care
providers. We did our homework, and were greatly supported by our midwife, we
accepted the associated risks and birthed as best we
could.
It is
important to be informed of possible adverse outcomes, but this can't be your
focus, or your carers.
Nows a
good time to be with like minded people, reading positive birth stories,
be kind to yourself and take a breath to get back on track for the birth
of your baby.
I hope
you are feeling better, and your birth goes well,
-----Original
Message-----
From:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]On Behalf Of Isis and Andrew
Caple
Sent: Wednesday, 16
July 2003 9:27
To:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] vaginal wall
tearing
I
apologize in advance for rehashing an old topic of discussion, but I need to
get this off my chest.
I had
a 36 week ANC appointment with one of the hospital OB�s yesterday and I left
the appointment shaking with anger. I also left questioning my own wishes
and plans. I was asked if I realized the risks of a VB due to my tear. I
answered to the affirmative. I was asked if I truly appreciated the �great�
possibilities of incontinence if I had a VB. I answered yes, but didn�t
engage in a debate over the actual research done and what may cause the
incontinence.. I was then asked how I felt in the event of a successful VB,
with no tear, still meaning that 10-20-30-40 years down the track I would
most likely still need a colostomy bag due to the damage to the perineal
nerves/muscles- all linking back to my �ungiving� scar tissue and my adamant
wish to have a VB. How does he expect me to feel, with this doom and gloom
prediction being spouted in an extremely patronizing tone of voice? He
went on and on for about 6-7 minutes about how I must realize the risks that
my choices could entail. I felt my face getting hot, I felt sweat beading on
my upper lip, I started shaking. The only part of my wishes that he actually
�approved� was the possibility of an episiotomy.. Then he started on
my wish for a physiological 3rd stage- again predicting doom and
gloom. His exact wording was �Sure it is great to have a natural delivery of
the placenta, but you can also die naturally from massive blood loss. Did
you know that a PPH can mean that blood is running with the speed of a
household tap and before you know it you have lost 3000cc of blood?� I just
nodded dumbly in shock and disbelief..
Today
I doubt myself, my abilities, my wishes, my knowledge, my body. I feel
physically sick, thinking of all the women who go to see a doctor and end up
being scared into submission. No wonder the rates of intervention are so
high, no wonder the concept of a normal, natural birth doesn�t actually mean
what it sounds like..
I am
scared of this birth, I am wavering in my resolve to not have a c-section
just in case. I feel empty.
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