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Hi,
I had flash backs for about 3 years so you are doing well.
I found that quiet times especially on his birthday were bad and I
would just start crying for no real reason - but I tried to say to myself
- "they ruined everything else - I am not going to let them win and ruin
this too." I got through it with my anger and my unwillingness to
let them destroy any more of my life.
I also wrote a letter to the ob and posted it the day before my
baby's first birthday telling him how mean he had been and how it had
affected my life etc. (He had not been sorry at all. Don't
think he knew the meaning.) But, in posting that it was a big
forward in my own healing - I think I went through the birthday with a
feeling of strength from that move and in a way it was my own
clossure. I had in my own way given the pain and torture
back. Let the birthday be your closure and know that you
have got this far -- you have made it. A celebration and
conclusion to a terrible year and the beginning of a beautiful new
future.
Anyway, you are doing so well and you are so strong!
Hugs!
Rhonda.
-------Original Message-------
Date: Monday, November
24, 2003 11:41:41
Subject: [ozmidwifery]
Birth trauma anniversary
Hi guys,
Was wondering if I could get some advice from others who have had a
traumatic birth experience.
Now that December is almost upon us
I've started to feel a slight sense of dread as my babe's first birthday
approaches. I had PND with my first babe (10 years ago) and I am
trying my hardest to prevent that from happening again.
I know it is my babe's birthday and that
it should be a time of happiness but there was so much that went wrong
that day and we lost so much... I can't help but feel saddness. How do I stop feeling negative about this upcoming
milestone?
I was wondering
if there is anything that others have done to recognise such an
anniversary without loosing the joy that befits a first birthday?
And, if you have personally delt with
birth trauma did you have flashbacks in your quieter moments?
For the first few months after my babe's
birth I would sometimes have flash backs to theatre and would see
the image of a scalpel running across a little back. It happened
once while I was driving and was actually quite frightening.
Those 'flashbacks' have stopped for some
time now and I'm hoping that they won't start again. If you had flash
backs did they re-surface around the time of the first birthday?
I guess it would be good to have some
forewarning.
I know this all sounds a little 'off the
wall' but I need to ask these questions if I'm to keep strong and sane.
( well, at least as sane as a mother with
five kids can be! lol )
I'm hoping that someone will have
answers,
TIA, Sonia W.
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