What can I say?
I never expected my kids to sleep without me. Out of my four kids, one and
three slept with us and only with us for about 3 years each, number two
always had her own ideas and was sleeping through the night without us by 12
months, and number four breastfed for 4.5 years and slept with us for about
that time.
Why should they go down alone if they feel they need us with them?? They
seem to be total individuals and what fits for one may not and possibly
should not fit for others. Parenting is so full of the need to grow past our
own expectations.
In hindsight, my four kids are now 23, 20, 17 and 14 and no longer sleep in
our beds, are happy  individuals with no obvious deviant behaviour (as yet),
seem well bonded to us as parents and so far able to sustain relationships.
I'd have to add that number two is the most independent, but the others are
fairly equal in their demands as kids.
Sometimes I think we have the potential to beat ourselves up so much as
parents, based on peer thoughts and comments. Maybe we should try to tap
into our own intuitive feelings about the rightness of our actions, even if
that means perceiving the 'norm' as not OK (for us or our children).

Sleep well,
Sue


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