Pinky, I totally agree with you, but as a childbirth educator I have noticed men displaying frustrated, hostile feelings because of being left out of the equation once the baby arrives. When a man is pushed aside, unconsciously of course, they do feel jealous, unwanted and useless. I know many instances where the baby has taken top priority and a year later the couple have still yet to resume lovemaking. These men are not happy. And although many would say they didn't feel like it for months, then where does that leave the poor guys?
I would just like to say don't forget the partner in all of this, because from previous messages it seems men have been pushed out of their beds, into other rooms, onto the floor. I feel sorry for them. I bet they didn't imagine having children would be this way. Sylvia ...and no, it's never at night, I'm too tired, but we always go to sleep holding each other. My husband works from home....lucky me, I have all day!! -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Pinky McKay Sent: Friday, 19 March 2004 10:04 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff Silvia - do you only make love in bed? at night time? - after initial differences between the "romantic love" needs and babies we simply became more creative. Now I only have a husband to sleep with - and his respirator -I can tell you thats not particularly conducive to intimacy! Joking aside, I have had mothers , even those who dont co-sleep, talk about their affectionate feelings being transferred to the baby initially anyway and later these feeling return to the partner. Could this be a natural biological survival mechanism? Pinky ----- Original Message ----- From: "Sylvia Boutsalis" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, March 19, 2004 10:10 AM Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > I don't mean to be judgmental in relation to co-sleeping but I am > curious about what happens to the couples relationship? I am not a > selfish person but I do regard my bed time to be something shared with > my husband alone. For me having a child in bed turns my attention > away from my partner and intimacy and focuses on my child. That is > not what is supposed to happen. Children take up so much time that > it's important to be able to find time to nurture our own relationship > with our partner, and most of that time is usually at night when the > children go to bed and when we go to bed. Children are an extension > of us, not a replacement of our affections. > > I would be interested to know how the men in your lives are coping > with this arrangement. Are they really into it or have they just > accepted it? > > Sylvia > Mum to Ellie 10, Chris 6 and Evan 4 (who all breastfed, but never > co-slept) > > > -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Wayne and > Cas > Sent: Friday, 19 March 2004 8:48 AM > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Subject: [ozmidwifery] sleep stuff > > > Well, we tried the side car thing last night and he went down without > any hassles at 8.30, then woke up at 10pm so I fed him and gently > rolled him over to the cot and he didn't stir until 5am this morning. > So far so good. It was the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. > Thanks for all of your suggestions. > > I wanted to add though that sleeping with children and babies is not > right for everyone. I don't actually know too many adults or children > that seem affected by the fact their parents made them sleep in a cot > when they were babies. There is a lot more to parenting than whether > you co-sleep or not. Ie. If you don't love your kids unconditionally, > no amount of co-sleeping is going to give the added security a child > needs. I think we are all individuals and so are our children and we > just need to work out what best suits them. When Liam was the same age > as Daniel he was very hands off, didn't want hugs, didn't want the > breast a lot and it hurt me at the time but it was what he needed. > Daniel is a totally different baby. > > I will let you know if our good fortune last night continues. > > Cheers Cas. > > Cas, Wayne, Liam and Daniel McCullough > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > www.casmccullough.com > > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
