On Thu, Jan 16, 2020 at 12:19 ToddAndMargo via perl6-users < perl6-us...@perl.org> wrote:
> As far as the Dog remark, I have told you and others > ENDLESSLY what that meant. That you continue to > deliberately misrepresent me on this is a moral > issue on your part. The issue is not, now, just the dog remark—if you and JJ agree that it was a previously-established in-joke, that *could be* water under the bridge—though again, the issue of a lack of perspective here appears to be why you’re not understanding why it continues to be brought up: most readers will not be aware of such an in-joke, and will be (perhaps erroneously) offended on behalf of JJ if you don’t explain it *at the time*. No; the issue is your ongoing response to being called out for the remark. Your histrionic reactions, such as “Oh Great And Mighty Gatekeeper of the Documentation!” and your apparent misapprehension that merely explaining away a statement that some took offense to, without any outward sign of contrition, inoculates you from any further offense. The thing about *true* contrition (and I haven’t read anything from you on this that seems to amount even to lip-service of contrition) is that you have to put up with a certain amount of what you may perceive as sour grapes before complaining about it. You can welcome magnanimity, but you can’t demand it. And until you do show true contrition, the timer on when those grapes sour can’t even start. “What, I already apologized, won’t you just drop it?!” would already be a bad look; “I have told you and others ENDLESSLY [that my behavior wasn’t something I ever needed to apologize for in the first place]” is quite a bit worse. Trey — (p.s.: I don’t know your gender identity, but it reads to me like you’re overtly mansplaining here. But other than calling you out on it, I’m not going to go any farther into that particular minefield on a public list. Feel free to disagree but don’t bother doing so in a list reply: I won’t encourage such behavior by even reading it, so I’m going to assume any reply you make to this email is just responding to the remarks before this postscript. If you feel you really must respond to this, you can email me privately if you like, and I promise I’ll read it and reply. If I’m making an incorrect assumption about your gender identity—the “I have told you” remark is still enormously patronizing, even if it isn’t mansplaining.) >
