> Northerners Visiting the Southern States >> >>* If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or >>moving to the south, there are a few things you should know that will >>help >>you adapt to the difference in life styles. >>* >> If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a >>four-wheel drive pickup truck with a 12 pack of beer and a tow chain will >>be >>along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This >>is >>what they live for. >>* >> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same >>store. >>Do not buy food at this store. >>* >> Remember: "Ya'll" is singular, "All ya'll" is plural, and "All >>y'all's" is plural possessive. >>* >> Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are ya?" >>* >>You may hear a Southerner say "Ought!" to a dog or child. This >>is >>short for "Y'all oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying >>"No!" >>* >> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying, >>they >>can't understand you either. >>* >>The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted >>Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big 'ol," as in "big 'ol >>truck" >>or "big 'ol boy". Most Northerners begin their new Southern-influenced >>dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it. >>* >> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer >>proper. >>* >> Be advised that "He needed killin'" is a valid defense here. >>* >> If you hear a Southerner exclaim "Hey, y'all, watch this," stay >>out >>of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say. >>* >> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the >>smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local >>grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You >>just >>have to go there. >>* >> When you come up on a person driving 15 mph down the middle of >>the >>road, remember that most folks learn to drive on a John Deere and that >>this >>is the proper speed and position for that vehicle. >>* >> Do not be surprised to find that 10 year olds own their own >>shotguns >>and are proficient marksmen. Or that their mammas taught them how to aim. >>* >> In the south we have found that the best way to grow a lush, >>green >>lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. >> >> >> * If you do settle in the south and bear children, don't think we >>will >>accept them as southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the >>oven, >>we wouldn't call 'em biscuits. > >
