Re: [Pharo-dev] [Screencast] request for review

[Ben Coman]

Laurent Laffont wrote: Hi, actually the video is accelerated (almost 40' video reduced to 14'), lot of cuts to try to show a perfect workflow that nobody can have (I'm not an alien, I just cheat :). Having the good timing and workflow is hard, I can slowdown the video. My goals are: - create ah WHAOUH effect when watching the first time - come back later slowly, pause, try to do the thing Something might be said to that effect to introduce the video. Personnally I like things going fast because that's how I like it, but I understand. With VLC you can adjust the timing easily (click on the 1.0x in the status bar, bottom right), may be people can try and tell me the good ratio for them. And yes, voice will be far better, but I would like a native-english man/woman to record it. Cheers, Laurent I've uploaded a sample attempt as a first pass here... http://files.openinworld.com/temp/picasa_pharo3_narration.mp3 However I'd like to give it another go to improve quality since: * my laptop is annoyingly heard to ramp its fan up and down as its working hard with the multimedia. * there are a few times where your captions are too fast for me and I stumble trying to keep up..  * some of the captions break sentences into parts separated by dead space, which doesn't sound natural. I really like it, but putting on my editorial cap, here are some notes on the captions and my narrative: I was not entirely comfortable saying "I".  Where its practical I'd like to change that to "we" or "it should" etc. @0:00: It might be be good to narrate that this done in "Pharo3" and caption a link to the download & install instructions page. Also, mention that its expected that listeners first watch all the way through, then replay in steps to do the build the code themselves. Without any direct experience but the ambiance I pick up around the web is that many people require different programs for desktop and web, which doubles the work, whereas Pharo it can all be one program.  Perhaps that is a reasonable point of differentiation worth marketing?  So maybe @00:09:  "Then how to build both a desktop application and a web page served by Pharo itself to display them."  ---> "build a desktop application and a web page in the <b>same</b> system" @1:00 to @2:06: My narration falls behind the captions.  I think Metacello doesn't need to be mentioned.  Its a distraction, and cutting it will help me to keep up with the narrative. @5:18 you cut the code from Workspace and paste it into the Debugger @5:44.  This is too long in between.  Its hard to connect the two actions (I've been playing it back an forth).  At 5:44 it would be better to drop back to Workspace, cut, then immediately paste into the Debugger. @5:56 I don't think its worth saying that strings are collections of characters.  Its enough to say that a comma concatenates string. @6:10 Introducing the refactoring tools is a distraction from showing "how fast" you can do a web app. @6:30 Same for mentioning the format menu entry.  @6:50 More refactoring that I don't think is required.  You only need to sell one "hook" at a time, and the main one here is speed of using some REST API @7:04 Same for reactoring to "inline content variable to remove it" @7:20 I fall behind. @9:50 Could split tutorial here when starting the web server. Early on we should describe the naming convention to put "Zn" in front of Zinc components. @10:22 "by implement the value: method in a class" --> by implementing in a new class the value: method returning a Zinc http response object.   @10:56 ZNDefaultServerDelegate>>map:to:   is a nice display format, but I stumble over how to narrate it. @11:23 My narration falls behind as the captions go too fast. @12:40 I used to take it for granted that building a string with a stream was faster, but in [pharo-dev] someone showed this wasn't always the case.   It is distraction to introduce this new concept and maybe clearer to newcomers to just stick with one way to concatenate string using comma.  There is a lot of silence (except for my damn laptop fan) as this method is built.  I think it would be reasonable to paste in this text, particularly if it uses commas for concatenation.  At the end, invite the listener to program it themselves, stepping slowly through the video.  Provide download link again, or link to a web blog page that describes the steps. I could do some work to space the video to align with my narration, but I await your instructions.  There are also some periods with no captions that I might be able to fill in something. cheers -ben