Hi Alex,

Nice idea. Here are a couple of things you could improve:

- I would replace the front page with just the logo and the url.

- use a white background because the screenshots will look better as  
they have behind a white background that looks ugly due to the rounded  
corners of the windows (see for example slide 7). Alternatively, you  
can set the background of the Pharo image to black and retake the  
screenshots.

- in any case, the motif of the background does not help.

- Slide 2 is weak and tries to do too much. The text in parantehesis  
is not needed given that your audience is new to Smalltalk. What is  
Seaside? I would suggest to make a dedicated part of the presentation  
Seaside-related. The line in italics is confusing. Use the logo  
instead of the title. Remove the bullets :). In fact, I would make the  
logo appear in the same place as on the previous slide, and only  
change the text. This will make for a nice transition.

- the screenshot on Slide 6 has too small fonts

- On Slide 7 you use centered text, but everywhere else you use left  
aligned text. Stick with the left aligned one.

- Slide 12 needs some alignment. I would suggest to make the blue  
regions the same width and height and align them vertically.

- Also, I think the font of the white text from slide 12 is not as  
light as it is in the rest of the presenation.

- The explanations in red on slide 13,14 are too small and not useful  
like that. Make them bigger. Potentially you can also use animations  
to introduce them.

- Slide 15 needs alignment

- The green in Slide 16 does not look nice :). If you replace the  
black background with white, it will fit better. Alternatively, you  
have to edit the diagram again in omnigraffle and make white on black.  
In fact you anyway have to edit the diagram to make it use the same  
font as in the presentation (which I guess is Helvetica Neue Light)

- Slide 17 needs alignment

- Slide 18 is not so useful.

- Slide 19 has too many messages. What does that mean strong community?

- No need for the bullets on Slide 20

- I won't say anything about slide 21 :)




Cheers,
Doru


On Feb 5, 2009, at 7:43 PM, Bill Schwab wrote:

> Alexandre,
>
> That looks pretty good.  I would probably get the debugger to show
> itself off just a bit more - if only by picking a more interesting
> method for the source pane.
>
> You said that all control structures are realized by message sends.   
> Is
> that really true?  What about optimizations?
>
> Bill
>
>
>
> Wilhelm K. Schwab, Ph.D.
> University of Florida
> Department of Anesthesiology
> PO Box 100254
> Gainesville, FL 32610-0254
>
> Email: [email protected]
> Tel: (352) 273-6785
> FAX: (352) 392-7029
>
>>>> [email protected] 02/05/09 12:32 PM >>>
>
> Dear List,
>
> I made up few slides about Pharo. The goal is to give in less than 30
> minutes the essence of Pharo.
> Please, shot at me, I like that :-)
>
> http://bergel.eu/Pharo.pdf
>
> I provide the .keynote upon request.
>
> Alexandre
> -- 
> _,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:
> Alexandre Bergel  http://www.bergel.eu
> ^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;._,.;:~^~:;.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
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>
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--
www.tudorgirba.com

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