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New Message on Pituitary Chat

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From: MinnieChat
Message 6 in Discussion

Joven,   I am sorry to hear that you have been through with this illness. My 
husband and I had some rough spots in there too. Maybe a counselor would help.  
 During the first leg of my illness, I really took things personal with the 
accusations from my husband. I think my husband was really fearful about my 
illness and the anxiety was as such he couldn't and/or really didn't know what 
to do. It is easier to push away, I guess. He told me once that he could only 
go "oh my, that's just so bad and oh my, I really understand," before his 
sympathy wick burned out.   I realized that I couldn't change him, but I could 
change me. I began searching for answers in all kinds of self-help books, 
alternative therapies, vitamin programs, you name it. I tried going to church 
too, but I felt so overwhelmed with the negativity from the illness and the 
issues at home, I really didn't think Jesus was listening, or that he really 
cared. I too saw the strain in my kids' eyes. I really had built a wall, a 
stronghold of sorts, made with bricks filled with strife, anger, greed, 
selfishness, and more, all mortered up with cement made up of "what about me". 
When I really saw that in myself, I realized that my husband had done the same, 
and in survivial, so had my kids (to a degree). As we built our walls higher, 
we became more and more seperated.   It's taken some real effort to break down 
those walls. One person can't do it alone. One thing that really helped me was 
journaling. Instead of journaling like a diary, I journaled each entry with 
"Dear God," I would start the journal with Yesterday, this and this happened... 
and would end the entries with a prayer or two, or three. I even would write 
about folks here, and work issues and people at work. One time, I decided to 
reread entries from months before, and I realized that prayers I had made, were 
being answered. It was more than coincidence. I couldn't see him, but he was 
there. He was really there. I couldn't see him, but he was answering my 
prayers, and even prayers I had written for people here on this board. The 
biggest thing I've had to work through is to learn to trust again. I was so 
hurt. It was hard to learn to talk again, and work through issues with my 
husband, but I think it really helped that I worked through alot of issues with 
pen and ink, a tattered journal, and a black book with Golden Letters. This 
other book about learning how to pray really helped me: To Busy Not to Pray, by 
Bill Hybels. If you like, I can send you my copy, free.   It has taken a long 
time to bring those bricks down between me and my husband. We are making 
progress though. We had a disagreement a few nights ago. A few years ago, he 
wouldn't have spoken to me for weeks, nor I him. :Last week, we had our 
disagreement, and two hours later, we were talking and laughing, and everything 
was back to normal.   I haven't been on the boards for a while. I just took a 
new job, and the transition from my old job and my new has been quite a 
journey. If there is anything I can do, including keeping you in my prayers, I 
will.   Merry Christmas   Minnie

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