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New Message on Pituitary Chat

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From: alpinelivin
Message 3 in Discussion

Hello.  I'm glad to hear you are doing so well physically.  I just want to 
extend my sympathies to you.  I have been blessed with a wonderful husband, but 
along the way I have learned a bit about the unique hardships of being a 
caregiver.  Unfortunately, your wife seems to have rebelled rather than 
embraced her role, at huge expense to her family.  It is a pretty well-known 
fact that sadly, many marriages don't survive the "for worse" part of their 
vows when illness comes into the picture.  

At the risk of sounding like Dear Abby, I have to suggest therapy.  There are 
many support groups for caregivers specifically (I don't know your faith, but I 
know of a wonderful Christian-based site that has a special section for 
caregivers called restministries.org), but it seems she also needs help on an 
individual level, as well as marriage and/or family counseling for the both or 
4 of you.  It sounds like you have approached it well, recognizing the need for 
her normal emotions, but I understand your frustrations at this point.  

Nothing makes my blood boil more than an emotionally or physically absent 
mother (my own history).  I hope things will change for your family, but in the 
meantime, please keep open, honest communications with your sons.  They are old 
enough to have "adult-type" conversations.  Make sure they understand her 
behavior has nothing to do with THEM.  Their self-esteem is very fragile right 
now despite their best efforts to hide it.

Be strong, take care of yourself and your boys, and good luck to you.

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