----- Original Message -----
To: Fwo
Sent: Sunday, 19 September 1999 7:03 AM
Subject: (GEN)Millennium Pie

Millennium Pie

 (with apologies to Don McLean)

 

 A long, long time ago... I can still remember

how

 Computers used to make me smile.

 And I knew if I had my chance,

 That I could make electrons dance,

 And maybe I'd be happy for a while.

 But January made me shiver,

 it chilled me deep down in my liver,

 Bad news I'd collected...

 I couldn't get connected.

 I can't remember back that day

 When I first knew the Y2K

 But something touched me anyway,

 The day computers died.

 

 So,. ..Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi

 Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry

 And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies

 Saying this will be the day I retire

 this will be the day I retire

 

 Can you write in C plus plus?

 And do you have faith in your local bus If the

driver tells you so?

 Do you believe in Compaq's goals

 Can software save your mortal soul

 And can you teach me how to type real slow?

 Well I thought that you were prepared

 'Cause your memo said you weren't impaired

 Your stationery's swell

 But you can go to hell

 I was a lonely teenage Unix hack

 With an incantation and a modem jack

 but I knew the cat had left the sack

 The day computers died

 I started singin'...

 

 Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi

 Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry

 And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies

 Saying this will be the day I retire

 this will be the day I retire

 

 Now for 10 years we've ignored the threat

 And we haven't solved the problem yet

 But that's not how it used to be

 When the luddites read for the king and queen

 with a light they filled with kerosene

 And some manuals they stole from you and me

 And while Bill Gates was looking pleased

 Time stole his monopolies

 The courtroom was adjourned

 No verdict was returned

 While Apple tried a colour scheme

 The engineers returned to steam

 And we had purges of their dreams

 The day computers died

 We were singin'

 

 Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi

 Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry

 And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies

 Saying this will be the day I retire

 this will be the day I retire

 

 Intel inside in an iron smelter

 The food leftover from my fallout shelter

 Twinkies old and aging fast

 I'd rather eat the grass

 Q and A tried for a system crash

 With the tester on the sidelines in a cast

 Now the timeshare net was running Doom

 While mainframes played a marching tune

 We all tried to log in

 Oh, but we never could begin

 'Cause Cobol tried to take the field,

 And Hollerith refused to yield.

 Do you recall what was revealed,

 The day computers died?

 We started singing

 

 Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi

 Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry

 And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies

 Saying this will be the day I retire

 this will be the day I retire

 

 There we were all in a state

 A generation- really late

 With no time left to start again

 So come on mouse be nimble, mouse be quick

 Don't let my spreadsheet data stick

 Cause data is the devil's only friend.

 As I watched him on my screen

 My hands and face were drenched in steam

 No angel born in hell

 Could run that stupid shell

 And as the ball climbed high into the night

 To call the sacrificial night

 I saw Dick Clark laughing with delight

 the day computers died.

 I met a girl with a cell phone

 And I asked her for a dial tone

 But she just smiled and turned away

 

 I went down to the software store

 Where I'd seen computers years before

 But the man there said the games there wouldn't

play

 And in the streets the children screamed

 The lovers cried and the poets dreamed

 their interface was spoken

 The Internet was broken

 

 And the three things I connect to most

 The Website, Lan and the Network host

 Every single one was toast

 The day computers died

 They were singin'

 

 Bye, bye to the next digit of Pi

 Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry

 And good ol' boys were sending e-mail replies

 Saying this will be the day I retire

 this will be the day I retire

 

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