ӿ�<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->ӿ�
and
ӿ�<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->ӿ�
presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!--------------------->
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Okay I know that I mentioned American Idol in last week's issue...but I
watched it again last night and trust me...I think we saw the worst of
the worst! That guy (thankfully I have forgotten his name) who decided
to sing "Like A Virgin" by Madonna was certainly the worst singer I have
ever heard...and to top it off...he was also the worst dancer I have ever
seen! Did he not realize that there were two guys in front of him when
he was thrusting his pelvis towards them! My God, my kids are scarred
for life over him! If they end up in therapy...I am suing American Idol! The
worst must be over though now as the show moves to Hollywood tonight
and the contestants are narrowed down to 32! The 230+ contestants that
were sent to Hollywood MUST have some talent right? ;)
Today's issue includes contributions by: Nana, SunAmy, Rubin, Laura, Pat,
Carole, Barb, Marine, D.A. Funk.
If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a>
ӿ�-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------ӿ�
Lets start with a quickie:
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up
ӿ�------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Things it takes most of us 50 years to learn:
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number
of helicopters in it.
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.
4. The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
5. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,
deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average
drivers.
6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people
to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.
7. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
8. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
9. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."
10. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to
annoy people who are not in them.
11. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with
all of its glories, and he decides to deliver a message to
humanity, he will NOT use as his messenger a person on cable TV
with a bad hairstyle or in some cases, really bad make-up too.
12. You should not confuse your career with your life.
13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter/janitor,
is not a nice person.
14. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it
too seriously.
15. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take
command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
16. Your true friends love you, anyway.
17. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------ӿ�
If today is your birthday...you share it with:
1950 Ann Jillian Cambridge MA, actress (Mr Mom, Jennifer Slept Here)
1950 Jody Schecter South African auto maker (World Driver's 1979)
1951 Andy Roberts cricketer (brilliant West Indies quickie with 202 wickets
74-84)
1951 Earl Howe England, Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State, Ministry of
Defence
1952 Tommy Ramone [Thomas Erdelyi], Budapest Hungary, rock drummer/bassist
[Ramones-Rock & Roll High School)
1953 Dalila di Lazzaro Udine Italy, covergirl/model (Vogue)
1954 Alejandro Casa�as Havana Cuba, 110m hurdler (Olympics-silver-1976, 80)
1954 Dick Manitoba vocalist (Dictators)
1954 Oprah Winfrey Kosciusko MI, actress/TV host (Color Purple, Oprah)
1955 John Tate US, heavyweight boxer (Olympics-bronze-1968)
1957 Irlene Mandrell Corpus Christi TX, country singer (Mandrell Sisters)
1957 Jac Bico Dutch guitarist/singer (Tambourine)
1958 Judy Norton-Taylor Santa Monica CA, actress (Mary Ellen-Waltons)
1958 Ole Mortensen cricketer (pace bowler for Derbyshire & Denmark)
1959 Paul McGann actor (Dr Who)
1960 Cho-Liang Lin Taiwan, violinist (Queen Sophia 1st prize)
1960 Eddie Jackson bassist (Queensryche-Breaking the Silence, The Warning)
1960 Gregory Efthimos Louganis San Diego CA, champion diver
(Olympics-gold-1984, 88)
1960 Matthew Ashford Davenport IA, actor (Jack Devaraux-Days of Our Lives)
1960 Sean Kerly hockey player
1960 Steve Sax 2nd baseman (Los Angeles Dodgers, New York Yankees, Chicago
White Sox)
1961 Mike Aldrete US baseball infielder (Oakland Athletics, New York Yankees)
1962 Nicholas Turturro Queens NY, actor (James Martinez-NYPD Blue)
1963 Michelle Bell Melrose MA, LPGA golfer (1981 Mass School Girls Champ)
1964 Roddy Frame rock vocalist/guitarist (Aztec Camera-Stray)
1964 Andre Reed NFL wide receiver (Buffalo Bills)
1964 John Gallagher rugby league player
1964 John Habyan US baseball pitcher (St Louis Cardinals)
1965 Dominik Hasek Pardubice Czechoslovakia, NHL goalie (Czech
Olympics-Gold-98, Buffalo)
1965 Peter Lundgren Sweden, tennis star
1965 Tim Johnson NFL defensive tackle (Washington Redskins)
1967 David Pitcher CFL fullback (Winnipeg Blue Bombers)
1967 Khalid Skah Midelt Morocco, 5k/10k runner
1967 Sean Burke Windsor, NHL goalie (Hartford Whalers)
1967 Stacey King NBA forward/center (Miami Heat)
1968 Aeneas Williams NFL cornerback (Arizona Cardinals)
1968 Chris Pringle (New Zealand cricket pace bowler (since 1990)
1968 Ed Burns director/actor (Brothers McMullen)
1968 Harold Green NFL running back (Cincinnati Bengals, Atlanta Falcons)
1968 John Hudson NFL center/guard (New York Jets, Philadelphia Eagles)
1968 Kevin Roberson US baseball outfielder (Chicago Cubs)
1969 Flora Perfetti Faenza Italy, tennis star (1995 Futures-Reims-FRA)
1969 Karen Fonteyne Calgary Alberta, synchronized swimmer (Olympics-silver-96)
1969 Robert Young NFL player (St Louis Rams)
.....and on this day in history:
1951 Liz Taylor's 1st divorce (Conrad Hilton Jr)
1951 "Where's Charley?" opens at Broadway Theater New York City NY for 56
performances
1951 Baseball signs 6 year All-Star pact for TV-radio rights for $6 million
1953 1st movie in Cinemascope (The Robe) premieres
1954 Arnold Schoenberg's "De Profundis" premieres in Cologne
1955 John William Cox buys Yankee Stadium, sells grounds to Knights of
Columbus, later leaves structure to Rice University (1962)
1956 F D�rrenmatt's "Der Besuch der Alten Dame" premieres in Z�rich
1957 Graham Greene's "Potting Shed" premieres in New York City NY
1958 Murderer, Charles Starkweather, captured by police in Wyoming
1958 Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward wed
1959 Walt Disney's "Sleeping Beauty" released
1961 US female Figure Skating championship won by Laurence Owen
1961 US male Figure Skating championship won by Bradley Lord
1963 Jim Thorpe, Red Grange & George Halas elected to football hall of fame
1964 9th Winter Olympic games open in Innsbruck, Austria
1964 Beatles record in German "Komm, Gib Mir Diene Hand" & "Sie Leibt Dich"
1964 Most lopsided high-school basketball score-211-29 (Louisiana)
1964 NBC purchases AFL 5 year (1965-69) TV rights for $36 million
1964 Unmanned Apollo 1 Saturn launcher test attains Earth orbit
1964 Stanley Kubrick's"Dr Strangelove" premieres
1966 "Sweet Charity" opens at Palace Theater New York City NY for 608
performances
1966 Lawry & Simpson complete 244 opening stand vs England, Adelaide
1966 Snow storm in north east US kills 165
1966 US female Figure Skating championship won by Peggy Fleming
1966 US male Figure Skating championship won by Scott Allen
1967 "Let's Sing Yiddish" closes at Brooks Atkinson New York City NY after
107 performances
1967 Branch Rickey & Lloyd Waner elected to Baseball Hall of Fame
1967 Kees Verkerk becomes European skating champ
1967 WDAZ TV channel 8 in Devils Lake ND (ABC) begins broadcasting
1968 Nauru adopts constitution
1969 Jimi Hendrix & Peter Townshend wage a battle of guitars
1969 Sheahan & Connolly hang on for exciting draw Australia vs West Indies
�2003 http://www.scopesys.com/today/
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady and they are
deeply in love. However, no matter what the husband does
sexually, the woman never achieves orgasm. His wife demands
sexual pleasure, so they decide to ask the rabbi for advice.
The rabbi listens to their story and makes the following
suggestion.
"Hire a strapping young man and while the two of you are
making love, have him wave a towel over you as though he is
fanning you both. Make sure he is totally naked and she can
see his manhood as he fans you both with the towel. That will
help the wife fantasize and should bring on a full blown
orgasm."
They go home and follow the rabbi's advice. They hire a
handsome young man and he strips off and enthusiastically
waves a towel over them both as they make love. But it doesn't
help and still the wife is unsatisfied and frustrated.
Perplexed, they go back to the rabbi.
"Okay", says the rabbi, "let's try it reversed. Have the young
man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."
Once again, they follow the rabbi's advice. The young man gets
into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The
hired hand really works with great enthusiasm, and the wife
soon has an enormous, room-shaking, screaming, creaming
orgasm.
Smiling, the husband drops the towel, taps the young man on
the shoulder and says to him, triumphantly: "THAT'S how you
wave a towel!"
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�----------------------COLUMN PREVIEW--------------------ӿ�
Bottled water: I wish I had thought of that!
By John Martin
I am not surprised that Australians are going through more
aerated and bottled water these days. It is thirsty work
watching the amount of sport we watch.
According to new figures, the average Australian drinks 113
litres of the bottle water a year - up four litres each in
the past year.
We also watch a LOT of sport, according to the Australian
Bureau of Statistics' 85th edition of its annual yearbook.
We have to. Our own involvement in organised sport apparently
peaks at age 11 when we are asked politely to move to the
perimeter and watch.
In 1999, 47 per cent of all Australians over 15 - seven million
- attended a sporting event. Many more of them, me included,
stayed home and watched it on TV, guzzling bottle water and
recalling with gusto our own gallant feats in the sporting
arena at age nine.
More?....
<a href=" http://johnmartin.actweb.net/watersport.html ">Click</a>
http://johnmartin.actweb.net/watersport.html
ӿ�-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------ӿ�
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird
religious cult."
-Rita Rudner
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Have You Been Flossing
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/32.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/32.htm
Cramped
<a href=" http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/08070201.html ">Click</a>
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
[A Classic!]
Four convicts were eating in the chow hall one day.
One says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
"No." "Pfffffffffffffff"
A second guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
"No." "Pffffffffffffff"
A third guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
"No." "Pffffffffffffff"
The fourth guy says, "You guys mind if I fart?"
"No." "BRRRRRAAAAAPPP!!
The other three guys look astonished. "Wow!! A virgin!!"
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
This fellow comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide.
The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what
he wanted it for.
He answered, "I want to kill my wife."
"I'm sorry Sir," the pharmacist replied, "but you will have to
understand under such circumstances I can't sell you any Cyanide."
The guy reaches into his wallet and produces a photo of his wife.
The pharmacist blushes and replies, "I am sorry Sir, I didn't
realize you had a prescription."
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group
of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient
limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.
Michael, what would you do in a case like this?"
"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."
ӿ�--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------ӿ�
Constipated people don't give a crap.
ӿ�-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------ӿ�
Over the past 40 million years, more than 600 species of elephants have
roamed the earth. How many exist today?
A. 1
B. 2
C. 5
D. 10
<Answers in Next Issue!>
01/09
Last Issue's Answers:
Which clown fact about Willard Scott of the Today Show is NOT true?
C. Is actually allergic to clowns and breaks out into hives at the sight of
them
QQ: Willard Scott played the first Ronald McDonald and Bozo on TV before
becoming know as The Today Show weatherman. How many people knew that?
� Copyright 2003 Dawggone Communications
Website: http://quizqueen.net
Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Blonde Crossword
<a href=" http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/08070202.html ">Click</a>
http://judysjokes.com/atoons/jj/08070202.html
Proctologist Called
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/33.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/33.htm
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
A woman goes to the supermarket. She starts walking up and down
the aisles.
Each aisle she goes to she touches her head, her ears, her
breasts, and her crotch.
After doing this a number of times a man approaches her and ask
if she is having a problem.
She tells him no.
He says that he would like to know what she is doing at the
beginning of each aisle.
She says she is trying to remember her grocery list.
He seems puzzled and asks her for an explanation.
She goes through the motions saying:
One head of lettuce,
2 ears of corn,
2 breasts of chicken,
and some Fantastic...
ӿ�-------------------DAILY TOON FEATURES-------------------ӿ�
If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out
"Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family
laugh."
<a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a>
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Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day!
<a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a>
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All this and more on my website:
http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/daily.html
ӿ�---------------DUSTING OFF THE ARCHIVES---------------ӿ�
In an attempt to boost the number of visits to the Purehumour
archives...in each issue I will highlight today's date in the archives
from the past three years...take a look at todays issue in history
to see how Purehumour has evolved and what was funny in the
past!
January 29th 2002...the announcement of the beta test group for
the new Purehumour list!
<a href=" http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m792.html ">Click</a>
http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m792.html
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------ӿ�
When a toothpaste company got into trouble because of the amount of
fluoride that their product contained, they decided to hold an open
house at their factory to reduce public concern. Unfortunately, one of
the touring groups accidentally became locked in the refrigerated
storeroom, where they all died. The following day, the local newspaper
headline exclaimed, Tooth Company Freeze a Crowd.
ӿ�------------------------TIMEKILLER-------------------------------ӿ�
The Shell Game
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Cleaning out the aviary at a run-down zoo, the keeper finds
two finches that have died of old age. He picks them up and
places them in a sack. After cleaning the cage he puts the
sack in his wheelbarrow and moves on to the next cage.
When he reaches the primate cage he finds two chimps who have
also died of natural causes. "Waste not, want not," he says
as puts them in the sack with the finches.
Later at feeding time, he flips the dead animals from the
sack, into the lions' cage.
"Bloody hell!" roars the lion. "Not finch and chimps again!"
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
A panhandling bum is walking along in the theater
district just around matinee time. The streets are
crowded with people rushing to get in to their shows.
The bum sees a well dressed man walking along and goes
up to him and asks, "Sir, can I borrow a quarter?"
The man stops and says in a very dignified tone,
"Neither a borrower nor a lender be! -William
Shakespeare."
The bum looks back at the man and says, "Up yours, you
cheap bastard - Darryl Johnson."
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Certified Orgasm Expert
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/34.htm ">Click</a>
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Reality 2
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/at/35.htm ">Click</a>
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ӿ�-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------ӿ�
Animal Rights activists are baffling police in Germany
after going on the run with a circus elephant.
A national hunt was launched earlier this week following
Kenia's abduction from Karl-Heinz Koellner's Harlekin
circus.
The animal was taken from a site near Dessau in central
Germany where the circus is spending a winter break.
Local police spokesman Marcus Benedix told German DAP:
"It's hard to hide an elephant. We still have several
places in mind where we'll look."
The circus has been under attack for months from animal-
lovers who say the animals were mistreated and underfed.
Its other elephant, Rani, suffered a broken leg last year
and was admitted to a Berlin horse clinic. She failed to
recover and was put down earlier this month.
Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains
a previously published News Report. If you find an article
that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of
the publication and date to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a>
IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of
Weird News Weekly:
<a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com ">Lists</a>
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where
Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend
a lot of money.
"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles
or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it
over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said
the dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Mr. Smith turned to his wife...
"Show him your tooth, honey!"
ӿ�-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------ӿ�
[||||] D I P S C H I P P E D [||||]
According to a survey by Maxim Magazine, pigskin fans injested 18,500
tons of chips and popcorn on Super Bowl Sunday. (USA/1/23)
The majority of whom called in sick Monday with what doctors are now
calling the "guacamole flu."
Copyright � 2003 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved.
http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
One evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. When his
wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?"
"I got into a fight with the apartment manager."
"Whatever for?" asks his wife.
"He said he had slept with every woman in the apartment complex except one!"
"Hmmmmm", replies his wife. "I bet it's that snooty Mrs. Green on the
third floor."
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ӿ�---------DUMB CROOK OF THE DAY AWARD---------ӿ�
A man who erased his drunken-driving record from a police
computer and replaced it with a winking "smiley face"
graphic ended up with a suspended license and a fine when
police failed to see the funny side.
The 19-year-old computer whiz had been arrested for drunken
driving and summoned to appear in court in Besancon, in
eastern France, the French daily Liberation reported Tuesday.
Finding an unmanned computer as he arrived at the police
station for his hearing, the man decided to test the good
humor of the court by sneaking into the database.
He deleted his file from the computer's hard drive and inserted
";)" -- the text message shorthand for a winking smiley face --
in its place.
But rather than smiling at the prank, the judge handed the man
a three-month suspended prison sentence, a $425 fine and suspended
his driving license for three months.
ӿ�---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------ӿ�
What do you call female Viagra?
Jewelry
ӿ�--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------ӿ�
=========================
THE HUMOR OF MELVIN DURAI
=========================
"SHAQ TRIES COMEDY IN TWO LANGUAGES"
I learned recently that Shaquille O'Neal, the basketball
star, is bilingual. Yes, he speaks English and Chinese.
Asked to comment on Yao Ming, the Houston Rockets rookie
center, Shaq said, "Tell Yao Ming,
'ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.'''
If you don't know what that means, you need to brush up on
your Mandarin. Then you'll understand why some Asians are
outraged. "The 'ching-chong' and 'yang-wah' parts are
acceptable," said one Chinese man. "But Shaq went a little
too far with the 'ah-soh.'"
The big question, of course, is whether Shaq was misquoted.
The media is apparently fond of misquoting athletes. As one
NBA player said, "Perhaps Shaq didn't say,
'ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-soh.' Perhaps he merely said,
'ching-chong-yang-wah-ah-oh.'"
Indeed, a single extraneous letter can make a big difference
in the meaning of a word or sentence. Just ask the Jewish
woman who placed a personal ad seeking a young, handsome
"gentileman." Or the former president who asked not to be
disturbed in the Oval Office because he was working
"internsely."
Shaq, in his defense, has not taken any formal classes in
Mandarin. He has not watched every Jackie Chan movie. He has
not conversed with Chinese people, unless you count "large
moo goo gai pan please."
But he still managed to make an attempt at speaking a
language that's as foreign to him as good manners. He still
managed to utter a sentence that a man of substance might
understand, depending on what substance he's on.
Shaq's babble, a parody of the way Chinese people speak, has
rightfully upset some people. They view it as racist. An
insult to the best basketball player Asia has ever produced,
a player who may do for the NBA what Anna Nicole Smith has
done for the ice cream industry.
For his part, Shaq does not deny his words. He says he was
joking, not being a racist -- and I believe him. He was not
being a racist. He was being an idiot. A funny idiot,
perhaps even a hilarious idiot, the type of idiot who could
give Howard Stern some serious competition.
Unfortunately, in our politically correct world, idiocy is
often confused with racism. People are quick to lump Shaq
and Trent Lott with the likes of Matt Hale and David Duke.
It's gotten to the point where some folks, afraid of being
branded racists, have stopped saying in December that
they're "dreaming of a white Christmas."
As we pursue the ideals of Dr. Martin Luther King
Jr., a man who dreamed that his children "will not be judged
by the color of their skin but by their character," let's
vow to fight the real racists -- the ones who truly believe
that their race is superior, the ones who deliberately
discriminate against others. Let's not get carried away with
people whose mouths work overtime, ignoring the flurry of
"I'm out of the office" messages from their brains.
That's not to say we should excuse Shaq completely. He needs
to think what it's like to be the only Asian in the NBA,
hearing "ching-chong" taunts from opposing fans, then
hearing "ching-chong" taunts from the league's best player,
who recently received an NAACP Young Leaders Award, perhaps
because he's fast becoming America's leading clown.
He needs to think about the "ching-chong" taunts that will
be heard at some schools in America, taunts that will
provide laughter for some kids, but only pain for the ones
trying desperately to fit in.
He needs to think.
----------------------------------------------------------
(c) Copyright 2003 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
Melvin Durai is an Indiana-based writer and
humorist. A native of India, he grew up in Zambia
and moved to the U.S. in the early 1980s. Read his
previous columns at http://www.melvindurai.com
For a free subscription to his columns,
send a blank
mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Your article length submissions are welcome...send your
humourous submissions of between 300 and 500 words to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Editorials</a>
Editorial comments expressed here are copyright the writer and
may not be reproduced in whole or in part without the expressed
written consent of the writer and also the editor of Purehumour.
ӿ�----------------------------XXX SITES TO VISIT---------------------------ӿ�
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