ӿ�<--------- http://www.paulsfunhouse.com --------->ӿ�
and
ӿ�<----------The Grand Pooh-Bah of Humour ---------->ӿ�
presents
<---------------------PureHumour Joke Ezine!--------------------->
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Happy Valentine's Day...the day for lovers and friends...so it is only
fitting that
I offer my buddy Anni an apology...she knows why! ;)
Every year on this day something romantic occurs and this year is no
different..
yes this year my wife and I are spending the evening together...close together
as we have never spent valentine's day before. Alone and yet not alone ...
surrounded by young people...some of whom are just beginning to experience
the fun of being in love ... couples and singles together in the same room
on the
most romantic evening of all ... and my wife and I will join them ... be in
the
midst of all that energy as it builds to the ultimate climax ... okay so we are
working the canteen at the local skating rink tonight...some romantic evening!
Thanks to all of you who have visited wastedwebspace.com and sent in the
suggested sites...some great sites have been added thanks to observant
visitors...and now it is YOUR turn...check us out at:
<a href=" http://www.wastedwebspace.com ">Click</a>
http://www.wastedwebspace.com
Today's issue includes contributions by: Di Ann, the Posens, Ann, SunAmy,
Rubin, Keli, Gene, D.A. Funk, Colorado Kid.
If you want to see your name here...send your jokes to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">Jokes</a>
ӿ�-------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------ӿ�
Lets start with a quickie:
What is the definition of Blood, Sweat and Tears?
A blonde standing in front of a tampon machine with a bent quarter.
ӿ�------------------------SPONSOR---------------------------------ӿ�
Today's issue is brought to you by:
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
A Valentine's Love Poem:
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.
You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.
Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.
Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.
Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
"That's impressive," I say.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won't do.
Cause yor'e too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds...
IT'S A NEW TROLL'N MOTOR!!
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�----------------------TODAY IN HISTORY-----------------------ӿ�
If today is your birthday...you share it with:
1950 Raymond van het Groenewoud Belgian vocalist/actor (Brussels by Night)
1951 Kevin Keegan British soccer player/manager (Newcastle United)
1951 Michael Doucet singer/musician (Beausoleil)
1953 Wayne Siegel composer
1955 R Jeremy H Lascelles grandson of English princess Mary
1956 Dave Dravecky pitcher (San Francisco Giants), had arm amputated
1956 Howard Edward Davis Jr Glen Cove NY, lightweight boxer
(Olympics-silver-1976)
1958 Perry Stephens Frankfurt Germany, actor (Loving, All My Children)
1960 Jim Kelly NFL quarterback (Buffalo Bills)
1960 Meg Tilly [Margaret], Los Angeles CA, actress (Big Chill, Impulse)
1963 D'Wayne Wiggins singer (Tony! Toni! Tone!)
1963 Jeff Dellenbach NFL center (New England Patriots, Green Bay
Packers-Superbowl 31)
1963 John Marzano Philadelphia PA, catcher (Seattle Mariners)
1963 Zach Galligan New York NY, actor (Gremlins)
1964 Darrick Brilz NFL center (Cincinnati Bengals)
1965 Jessie Tuggle NFL linebacker (Atlanta Falcons)
1966 Clark Sherwood Dennis Houston TX, PGA golfer (1990 Hawaiian Open-3rd)
1966 Petr Svoboda Most Czechoslovakia, NHL defenseman (Philadelphia Flyers,
Olympics-gold-1998)
1967 Calle Johansson G�teborg Sweden, NHL defenseman (Washington Capitals)
1967 Laura Martin LaJolla CA, WPVA volleyballer (Nationals-13th-1994)
1967 Manuela Maleeva-Fragniere Sofia Bulgaria, tennis player (1984 US Open
Mixed Doubles)
1968 Chris Lewis cricketer (in Guyana England all-rounder)
1969 Chad Magee Tyler TX, Nike golfer (1993 NIKE Shreveport Open-36th)
1969 Harry Colon NFL safety (Jacksonville Jaguars, Detroit Lions)
1969 Jeff Graham NFL wide receiver (Chicago Bears, New York Jets)
1969 Roy Barker NFL defensive end (Minnesota Vikings, San Francisco 49ers)
1969 Shana Zadrick Grand Junction CO, model (Guess Jeans)
.....and on this day in history:
1950 Moroney scores cricket twin centuries for Australia at Johannesburg
1950 USSR & China sign peace treaty
1951 Sugar Ray Robinson defeats Jake LaMotta & takes middleweight title
1952 6th Winter Olympics games opens in Oslo, Norway
1952 Comedian Joey Adams marries gossip columnist Cindy Heller
1954 Senator John Kennedy appears on "Meet the Press"
1954 Beverly Hanson wins LPGA St Petersburg Golf Open
1954 WTOC TV channel 11 in Savannah GA (CBS) begins broadcasting
1955 WFLA (now WXFL) TV channel 8 in Tampa-St Petersburg FL (NBC) begins
1956 Khrushchev denounces Stalin at USSR Communist Party Conference
1956 20th Congress of CPSU opens in Moscow
1956 Indonesia withdraws from Netherlands Indonesian Union
1956 Verhoeven/Nauta/De King/Wijnhout win Dutch 11 city skate
1957 Georgia Senate unanimously approves Senator Leon Butts' bill barring
blacks from playing baseball with whites
1958 Arab Federation of Iraq & Jordan forms
1959 $3.6 million heroin seizure in New York NY
1960 Beverly Hanson wins LPGA St Petersburg Golf Open
1960 Marshal Ayub Khan elected President of Pakistan
1961 Element 103, Lawrencium, 1st produced in Berkeley CA
1961 Louise Suggs wins LPGA Royal Poinciana Golf Invitational
1962 1st lady Jacqueline Kennedy conducts White House tour on TV
1963 US launches communications satellite Syncom 1
1966 Australia introduces 1st decimal currency postage stamps
1966 Wilt Chamberlain breaks NBA career scoring record at 20,884 points
1966 Writers Andrei Sinjavski & Joeij Dani�l found guilty
1967 Aretha Franklin records "Respect"
1967 Latin American nuclear free zone proposal drawn up
1968 Pennsylvania Railroad/NYC Central merge into Pennsylvania Central
1968 WHKY TV channel 14 in Hickory NC (IND) begins broadcasting
�2003 http://www.scopesys.com/today/
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Becky, a good Assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make
a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.
After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately
for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.
When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen
and done.
Her husband asked, "Was the Patient that bad?"
Becky said, "No, I just didn't want to be the only sucker
called out on a night like this."
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�----------------------COLUMN PREVIEW--------------------ӿ�
TOILET TRAINING FOR MEN
by Larry Graves
(or how to keep a woman happy...)
Men, it is time to go pee pee!
Please follow these easy step by step instructions. If
you have to pee really bad perhaps you should have taken
one of those speed reading courses...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Step up to the toilet with your legs almost touching the
side of the toilet. If the toilet seat is down, do not
worry or get confused.
Lift both toilet seats up by firmly gripping the seat with
a thumb and index finger (preferably from the same hand)
Both seats should rest on back of toilet bowl now.
More? ....
<a href=" http://www.gravetimes.com/peepee.htm ">Click</a>
http://www.gravetimes.com/peepee.htm
ӿ�-----------------------QUICK QUOTE----------------------------ӿ�
Never exaggerate your faults. Your friends will attend to that.
-Sir Francis Bacon
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Ride My Harley
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/harley.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/harley.html ">Ride My Harley</a>
High Heels Make Your Calves Look Sexy
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/highheels.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/highheels.html ">High Heels Make
Your Calves Look Sexy</a>
How Could This Accident Have Happened
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hitcher.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hitcher.html ">How Could This
Accident Have Happened</a>
Highway Signs For Certain Individuals
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hiwaysigns.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hiwaysigns.html ">Highway Signs For
Certain Individuals</a>
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Rejected Motel '6' Slogans:
15. Because you deserve better than the back seat of some car.
14. As seen on COPS.
13. If we'd known you were staying all night, we'd have changed
the sheets.
12. Not just for one nighters anymore.
11. We left off the 9, but you know it's there.
10. You rented the room, now buy the video.
9. Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then you wouldn't have
money left over for the hooker.
8. We'll leave the Lysol out for ya.
7. Hey, we're not the Ritz, but just try bringing your secretary
there on your salary, pal.
6. We don't make the adultery. We make the adultery BETTER.
5. It's Hookerriffic!
4. Official lodging of the 1998 Florida Marlins.
3. Blurring the line between stains and avant garde sheet art
since 1962.
2. Cheap and easy -- just like a hooker.
1. We put the 'Ho' in Hotel.
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
John was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looked at his
lunch and said, "I don't like chicken soup, bring something else."
The orderly said, "It's good for you, the doctor said you should have
it."
John refused to eat. That night, the John's roommate had bad
stomach pain, so the nurses came in to give him an enema. By mistake,
they gave the enema to John.
The following week, when he was leaving the hospital, a new patient asked
him how he liked the hospital.
John told him, "Well, the hospital itself is pretty good, but they're
very strict about their food. Here's a good tip: when they bring up
chicken soup you better eat it, or else they'll come back in the middle
of the night and shove it up your ass."
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
The mother of a problem child was
advised by a psychiatrist:
"You are far too upset and worried
about your son. I suggest
you take tranquilizers regularly."
On her next visit the psychiatrist
asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed
you down?"
"Yes" the mother answered.
"And how is your son now?" he asked.
"Who cares?" she replied.
ӿ�--------------FROM THE BATHROOM WALL -------------ӿ�
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft.......today it's called golf.
ӿ�-------------------------QUIZ QUEEN------------------------------ӿ�
The lack of what food almost brought the Civil War to a halt when Gen.
Ulysses S. Grant sent an urgent message to the War Department saying, "I
will not move my army without _____." The next day, three trainloads were
on their way to the front.
A. Potatoes
B. Onions
C. Oranges
D. Tomatoes
<Answers in Next Issue!>
09/02
Last Issue's Answers:
Some early Spanish priests, aware of the passion the native people had for
the fruit of this plant and unsure of its powers, assumed they were
aphrodisiacs and warned against consumption. Of course, true to human
nature this only added to the popularity of ___________?
B. Chile pepper
QQ: Where do you think the expression "Hot Mama" started?
� Copyright 2003 Dawggone Communications
Website: http://quizqueen.net
Subscribe: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Celebrity High School Yearbook Pics
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hsyb.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/hsyb.html ">Celebrity High School
Yearbook Pics</a>
Ice Love
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/icelove.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/icelove.html ">Ice Love</a>
Jacuzzi
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/jacuzzi.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/jacuzzi.html ">Jacuzzi</a>
Whats Under That Kilt
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/kilt.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/kilt.html ">Whats Under That Kilt</a>
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Laura and Ron were having sexual problems. The
counselor thought it might be due to the fact that
Laura was taller than Ron. He suggested special shoes with
built-up heels to help Ron's ego.
The next month, he asked if things had improved in
their love life with the shoes.
"Well yes..." Laura replied, "but those shoes get
the sheets so dirty."
ӿ�-------------------DAILY TOON FEATURES-------------------ӿ�
If you like funny, wacky, and clean cartoons, then check out
"Strange Breed". It's sure to make you and your whole family
laugh."
<a href="http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm";>Click</a>
http://www2.hi.net/s4/strangebreed.htm
Gus really gets cooking...a new strip each day!
<a href="http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php";>Click</a>
http://www.guscooks.com/strips.php
All this and more on my website:
http://www.paulsfunhouse.com/fun/daily.html
ӿ�---------------DUSTING OFF THE ARCHIVES---------------ӿ�
In an attempt to boost the number of visits to the Purehumour
archives...in each issue I will highlight today's date in the archives
from the past four years...take a look at todays issue in history
to see how Purehumour has evolved and what was funny in the
past!
Valentine's Day 2002:
<a href=" http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m803.html ">Click</a>
http://www.escribe.com/humor/pj/m803.html
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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If you wish to donate to support the continue success of this
ezine...please visit the link below...no amount is too small!
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ӿ�--------------------IT'S NOT PUNNY!------------------------------ӿ�
Penny was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived
on her own. Her dream in life was to go on an ocean cruise
around the world. So she scrimped, and she saved, and she
saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day, she had
enough money to go on her ocean cruise. She booked passage
on a cruise liner - first class all the way... The cruise
started off in a grandiose scale, dancing and parties every
night. But Penny was a cautious girl, so she never drank,
but just danced the night away.
One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was
walking back to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe
broke throwing her off balance. If that wasn't enough, the
ship chose that moment to tilt to the left. As a result, Penny
was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised,
and after about five minutes they found Penny. Hauling her
aboard, the ship's crew realized that it was too late, poor
Penny
Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said
before, Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a
will. In it, she specified that she wished for her body to be
cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent's fireplace mantel.
Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a
Penny saved is a Penny urned.
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his
pool.
When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other
and said: "Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?"
The other answered: "Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play
with!"
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Dennis the drunk was broke as usual, but needed a drink.
He knew the barman to be a sporting fellow, so he offered
him a bet.
"I'll bet you the price of a pint of beer that my prick
is longer than your cat's tail," he said to the barman.
The barman could not resist a certain winning bet so he
lay down his money.
The barman whipped up the cat and measured it and then
measured Dennis's somewhat sad-looking member. "You lose by
just over 3 inches, Dennis," he said, "so pay up!"
"Jus' a minute," slurred Dennis. "Where did you measure th'
cat's tail from?"
"From its arse to its to its tip replied the barman.
"OK," said Dennis. "Well, would you mind giving me th' same
courtesy!"
ӿ�--------------------------TOON TIME------------------------------ӿ�
Lucky Day
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/luckyday.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/luckyday.html ">Lucky Day</a>
Did You Have A Mammo Today
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mammo.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mammo.html ">Did You Have A Mammo
Today</a>
Truly A Male Cat
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mancat.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mancat.html ">Truly A Male Cat</a>
McLaden
http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mcladen.html
<a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/mcladen.html ">McLaden</a>
ӿ�-------------------------WEIRD NEWS---------------------------ӿ�
The female headteacher of a New York school has been charged
after urinating on the street while her car was stopped at a
red light.
Evelyn Peralta-Tessitore should have been at work at Public
School 192 in Harlem when she was spotted by police in the
Bronx.
Officers said she was squatting and urinating beside the open
door of her 2003 Mercedes-Benz.
The 41-year-old has been charged with drunk driving and
resisting arrest, reports the New York Daily News.
Police say Peralta-Tessitore admitted she'd been drinking. She
is due to appear in court later this month.
Peralta-Tessitore has been removed from her school, pending the
outcome of the case.
School secretary Helen Torres, who was also in the car at the
time, was arrested for obstruction after trying to keep officers
from arresting her boss.
Weird News is a daily feature of Purehumour...it contains
a previously published News Report. If you find an article
that you wish to see here..please send the article, name of
the publication and date to:
<a href=" mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ">News</a>
IF you like Weird News...subscribe to my weekly ezine of
Weird News Weekly:
<a href=" http://lists.paulsfunhouse.com/ ">WNW</a>
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly
she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag
and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors
later, a gentleman got on the elevator. He began to
sniff, and the Avon lady asked, "Do you smell
something?" "Well, yes I do," he replied.
"What does it smell like?"
The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but
it kinda smells like someone crapped in a pine tree."
ӿ�-------------------------QUICK WIT-------------------------------ӿ�
[||||] B I N T H E R E D O N E T H A T [||||]
"A man believed to be Osama bin Laden, speaking on an audio tape
released Tuesday, urged Muslims to help defend Iraq in the event of
war... " (LAT/2/12)
CIA sound experts have identified it as part of his audition tape for
Bora Bora's hit reality series "Bin Bachelor."
Copyright � 2003 by Bob Mills, all rights reserved.
http://www.topica.com/lists/funnysideup
ӿ�--------------------------HUMOUR---------------------------------ӿ�
Stop for a Limerick Break....
There was a young lady from Cue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
"If they pay to get in,
They'll pay to get out of it too."
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Hey, look at me, Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."
There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor.
ӿ�--------------------ADVERTISEMENT---------------------------ӿ�
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ӿ�---------DUMB CROOK OF THE DAY AWARD---------ӿ�
Williamson, West Virginia police wouldn't have known whom a
bag of cocaine belonged to had it not been for one telling
clue: a driver's license that accompanied the illegal
narcotics.
Brian Corbett, 26, left his driver's license inside a bag that
contained $250 of cocaine Tuesday, Sgt. J.J. Lester said.
Corbett left the cocaine and his identification inside a truck
that belonged to a taxi-service company he worked for.
"He left the cocaine in a little baggy, right there with his
driver's license," Lester said today. "When he came back for
it, we had it."
Corbett is in jail for possession and intent to distribute the
drugs, Lester said.
"He's a stupid crook," Lester said.
ӿ�---------------------------QUICKIE----------------------------------ӿ�
A father catches his son masturbating. He says, "Don't do that, son, or
you'll go blind."
The kid says, "Pop, I'm over here."
ӿ�--------------------------EDITORIAL--------------------------------ӿ�
That's My Boy
by Dave Glardon
Boys will be boys. I'm not sure exactly what that
means, but I think it's just a lame way of saying that
we have no idea what goes on in a young boy's brain.
From the mind that proved certain bodily gases really
do ignite comes a future president. Scares me.
As I watch my grandson grow and begin to establish his
own personality, I'm reminded of something that I read
years ago. When boys get quiet, you'd better
investigate. Having been a boy in another century, I
can attest to the validity of that sentiment.
It's not that boys get into any more trouble than
girls. Quite the contrary, actually. I've raised two
girls. Well, the jury's still out on one, but I'm
calling it a success. Girls don't get into any less
trouble, but theirs is different.
When our oldest decided she wanted to be a beautician,
she practiced on the neighbor's hair. I didn't see
the results, but from what I'm told, she'd make a
fortune if she could replicate that hairstyle today.
Our youngest practiced on her own hair. When you're
five and want a haircut, it's a no-brainer. You find
your round-nose school safety scissors, step in front
of a mirror, and start cutting.
Of course, those scissors don't really cut. Chop is
a much more descriptive word. But the result is still
the same.
A little off the left, a little off the right, and
voila! Okay, maybe just a little more off the left.
But now it's not even. Okay, a little more off the
left. Oh no! Not your left, the mirror's left! What
now?
You do what any normal kid would do. You stash the
scissors, kick the piles of hair across the carpet,
and hope nobody notices. And she's the one who got
accepted into college.
Boys are a lot more creative. Just cutting the hair
isn't enough. You have to boldly go where no man has
gone before. Be the first on your block to do it with
a power tool, and you're a hero.
You see, it's not about getting a haircut or using
dad's circular saw. It's about bragging rights.
Because bragging rights bring notoriety, and notoriety
brings status, and status attracts girls. It's really
that simple.
Not that everything we did was to attract girls.
Quite the contrary. Most girls wouldn't have been
impressed by my ability to break wind on command,
though I have met a few who could put me to shame.
But the guys at Boy Scout camp thought I was a god.
And speaking of Boy Scouts, don't be fooled by the
image of nice little boys with three fingers raised
upward as they recite the Scout Oath. We were
heathens.
I still remember a night we spent camping in my best
friend's back yard. Our campfire was pitifully small,
so he snuck into the garage and came back with a soup
can and a grin.
I'll never forget the boom in his voice as he stepped
to the fire, tipped the can upside-down, and
proclaimed, "Let there be light!" Make no mistake,
there was light, and the light was good. Gasoline
has that effect.
Of course, I also remember that masculine voice
turning soprano as he ran around the yard with a
flaming can in his hand. I don't think I've ever
heard so many four-letter words in such a brief span
of time.
Later that year, his brother made a cannon out of
empty beer cans. With the right amount of lighter
fluid, it could launch a tennis ball halfway across a
busy highway. Or so I'm told.
Of course, anything involving explosives was always
held in high esteem. But you can't just light the
fuse and run. We conducted extensive research. Here's
a tip. Firecrackers don't fare well in a microwave
oven.
My grandson is almost three, and it's like looking
back in time. He's all boy. He loves action, and
he's not afraid of anything. Except my wife, and
that's okay. She scares me, too.
But when he gets quiet, I get nervous. Especially if
the bathroom light is on and I can't remember where I
left my pliers. What's that sound? Is it raining?
No, the future president just disconnected my toilet.
Maybe girls weren't so bad after all.
Copyright 2003 Dave Glardon - All rights reserved
---
Dave Glardon is a product of the fifties who came of
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