I've been following this thread for a while now. I find it curious
how things work out - I have had full sensation with very little motor function
since 1967. I've had a full life with lots of sensations and now I'm at
the point where the thrill is gone and although I fantasize how good it would be
with a 'new' woman, I will not compromise what I have now for a fling. My
wife of 31 years is experiencing diminished desires because of lupus, arthritis,
and fibro myalgia and I find going uncathed always results in a big mess.
We are at the point now where just getting up daily and functioning 'normally'
is a large accomplishment. Everything we do as far as regular daily
activities is about all we can manage. We do hug, kiss, and cuddle at
night, but a good night's sleep is pretty high on our list of pleasures.
(And a good dump is a close second.) The sex act served it's purposes
of making us close and procreating the species, but now it has become more of a
burden than a pleasure. (There are a few parts of procreating that bring
more pain than pleasure - it's not all roses. Skipping it isn't such
a loss as you might imagine. ) I think I can understand the
frustration of feeling incomplete as far as enjoying God's primary
directive, and for that I truly grieve with you. If you have ever tried an
illegal drug and decided that no matter how great it felt, you just couldn't
keep going there because it wasn't normal for you, having and losing sex is
a similar loss. I am truly grateful for all you great friends here on the
qlist who have taught me, more than you will ever know.
God bless, and have a great '05.
Dave
In a message dated 12/31/2004 9:07:41 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
I do have those feelings yes. I don't understand it though because I
don't have feeling in my legs, but I do in those areas. I'm not sure to what
extent because I haven't 'been' with anyone since I got sick. Of course I
have experimented, but don't really have any desire to and I think when
or at this rate if I am with anyone, that is when I will know. I
do have a sore on the bottom of my foot and that hurts me as well.
I don't get it. My doctor said that the nerves to your pelvic area are
the most protected on the spine so if I were to feel anywhere, it would be
there. I do get sporadic sensations on my legs but never in the same
places all the time. My doctor also told me that with my disease, it
makes things very strange. No SCI is the same, but I am very much
different because of the way it happened. I don't know if I ever
explained it but my spine is very atrophied because of the disease and the
damage left over from the inflammation the spine is still very much
intact. I still sweat below my injury level, but the swelling is quite
bad and I have more spasticity than most spinal cord patients.
I'm having a hard time going through the holidays single. Most of my
friends are married and/or have children. I don't have hardly any family
and didn't have them here for Christmas and now alone for New Years. I
find myself very left out because I donât have anyone. One of my best
friends pretty much only does things with other couples. Like going out
to dinner, playing cards, etc. She helps me through the waiver program,
so the time we spend together is when she is here helping me out with
something. She just got in an accident and her car got totaled plus she
got a broken arm. I can't get into her new car because it's too low and
awkward to transfer out of, so we don't really do anything together
anymore. It's been difficult getting through the holidays and will be
glad when they are over. I'm just not looking forward to the next 6
weeks while everyone is making their valentines day arrangements.
I am happy that everything is going well for you and Steve. When
the time is right, everything will happen naturally. It's wonderful that
he isn't pushing you into anything you are not ready to do. Keep taking
it slow.
Sorry for the book,
Stacy
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, December 30, 2004 5:05
PM
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration
I
did think about going to that step, but I wasn't fixated on it. I
was content just having the closeness at the time. It's the hugging,
kissing, and cuddling that I miss so much instead of the act itself.
Hi Stacy,
I totally agree with you, even though I'm still with Steve it's the
kissing, cuddles and hugs that I crave. Although we have talked a lot
lately about taking the relationship further, we've been together for
5months now so I don't think we would be rushing into it, and his been so
tolorant with it all bless him! I'm abit nervous about it all though,
it's going to be the first time all round for me. I hope this isn't a
too personal question, and if it is I do apologise, but to the females
especially; do you still have the sexual sensations? I'm a bit worried
that I won't be a "proper women" if I don't feel everything ![]()
Happy new year folks!
Love Smurf xxx
The
moral flabbiness born of the bitch goddess Success. That- with the squalid cash
interpretation put on the word success- is our national disease. -William
James 1906
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