River,
I really enjoyed reading your response. It was thought-provoking and made me think how wrong you are about being an average person. Simply by reading this e-mail I was able to determine that your character is much stronger than the average Joe and you are obviously a much deeper thinker than average people. This particular subject came up a little while ago and some individuals could not seem to grasp what the few responses I have read on Dillon's theory have so eloquently outlined. There is most definitely a gross disparity between high level quadriplegics and lower-level quads and paras. I myself, a quadriplegic or tetraplegic with no mobility from the neck down, have difficulty getting any privacy when I am out and about. I require a driver/attendant whenever I travel anyplace outside of my comfort zone (my house and general neighborhood). When I go to the mall or anywhere I know I can function somewhat independently, I ask my attendant to meet me at a specific time. T! his allows me a modicum of freedom, but if I were to try to have a decent liaison with an individual it would take some serious coordination and understanding on their part.
I have often considered hiring some escort to come over and give me a lap dance in the privacy of my own home, but frankly I don't think I would get too much out of it -- other than frustration -- and the cost would be prohibitive. My ex-wife, who I still have a very good relationship with, would probably not like the idea of having a strange woman in my house for nothing more than my hedonistic pleasures. Anyway, enough of my ranting and rambling. It is great to see that some people do understand the differences of Dillon's theory.
Billy from Tampa
C2-3
9 years post
My blog: http://quadius-superbus.blogspot.com/
River Wolfe <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Hi Dillon,
I totally agree with you that paras (I am one T-4) have it much easier
than you do. This applies to relationships and life in general. I
often think of my brother (who is a quad c-6) and wonder how the hell
he manages on his own, but he is a low level quad. He lives alone and
has no assistance whatsoever. He also has women galore!!! at least
that's what he says ;-). He goes out to bars all of the time (not my
choice for meeting someone but he and I are very different), he uses a
manual chair and a power chair.
What I'm acutely aware of is how I compare myself to others with
disabilities similar to mine. The more I compare myself, the worse I
feel about myself. When I read stories about "supercrips" in magazines
(New Mobility had many this issue) I put myself and my abilities down,
thinking I am less than bec! ause I haven't done what others have done.
Every day is a triumph Dillon, every obstacle we face is an emotional
cliffhanger. Will we let this one break us, or will we find a way
around it and complete the task at hand? After many breaks and many
triumphs, we are simply average people living an average life, trying
our best to make a difficult situation better. I'm not here to set a
record, or work a 15 hour day. My goal is not to eliminate the
unhappiness in my life but to embrace the obstacles as much as the
triumphs, for they are the same. The lesson is the same. When I put
my faith in how others see me, rather than how I see myself, then we
both lose. They don't see the real person and I am not myself. You
may not see others "get the girl" that sucks, and I truly feel that
once you allow yourself to acknowledge that it sucks without putting
yourself down, you won't feel so defeated.
consider this:
"quads never g! et the girl that sucks, I feel like crap and I can't do
crap, no one will ever love me"
VS
"quads never get the girl that sucks, so frigging what, been there felt
that"
Which is more attractive ?
So what if your theory is right? will you let yourself be defeated by
a theory? or will YOU defeat yourself?
peaceandlovingkindness,
River
www.hodohio.com
On Feb 7, 2005, at 8:58 PM, dillon awe wrote:
> I have a theory about sexuality and spinal cord injuries. I believe
> that the lower the injury level or higher the function is for SCI
> individuals the more attractive women or men will be to that person.
> Though I hold no grudge against paraplegics or low level
> quadriplegics, I think it is so much easier to introduce yourself to
> women and break the ice as well as develop a relationship when that
> person is not confronted with a bulky ele! ctric chair etc.. I might be
> wrong and I hope I am but does it not just seems paraplegics have it
> so much easier. Not only from personal observation but in advice
> columns I read, magazines and even on the covers of disability
> magazines, all I see or read about his couples who are paraplegics or
> low level quadriplegics/higher functioning.
>
> I never read about quadriplegics with very little function either
> through their neck or upper arms getting the girl.
>
>
> What do you think? Please prove me wrong
>
> Dillon
>
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