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You should not feel
guilty for any reason. I think if it were me, I'd be extremely
bitter. I suppose you should try to let go of bitterness for your
own peace of mind, forgive but never forget - but I sure wouldn't
blame you if you weren't able to let go of it! This makes me sick. I
can understand it being very trying on a marriage, and some of the romance
diminishing, but you marry someone for better or worse. Even if she just
couldn't deal with it and ultimately felt she needed a divorce for her own
sanity, it sounds like the way she went about it was very
very sleazy. She should be ashamed of herself. I really
hope you're doing OK emotionally now, after that whole ordeal with her.
I'm very sorry for what she put you through.
From: THouston [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005 4:50 PM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [email protected] Subject: [SPAM] - Re: [QUAD-L] re: Slippery slopes to making it personal - Found word(s) mortgage in the Text body I understand completely. My wife was 30 and I had just
made 39. Initially because of our very modest income we qualified for
nothing, They wanted to put us on a 'spin down' where any money for
medical exceeded $3400 a month they would cover any other medival
expenses. Problem 1: We brought in only $3500 per month and that was only
becauseof my company's short term disablity pay. And if I was in a
position to afford $3400 just on medical (not including mortgage, food,
utilities, kids, etc), I don't think I would have needed the government's
help. My wife told me after 8 hours at work, changing caths, bathing,
wound dressing, ranging legs, cooking,bowel programs that she didn't feel like a
wife. All of my family stayed in another state. Bathing me and bowel
programs took away the romance at night she said. She did well for almost 3
years, then we qualified for help 3.5 hours per day but it was too late. She
began spending more hours away from home then confessed she did not love me
anymore, started assisting me less, (I sometimes depended on friends and
neighbors to feed me), slept in the family room for 2 years then filed for
divorce. I had to give her half of my 401k and pay cash for equity in our
home. I received full custody of 16 year child but b/4 papers were final
she quit her job making $36,000/year to keep from paying child support.
Judge ordered her to pay $100 a month that I hardly ever saw. But she says
she feels free and alive again, found a new boy friend 22years older than she
who told her she doesn't have to work, he will take care of her. Sometimes
I don't know whether to feel guilty or bitter. It was because of her lack of
assistance helping me in bed caused 3 major pressure sores in Nov 2000, 2 I am
still dealing with.
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- Re: [QUAD-L] re: Slippery slopes to making it personal Kate Hubin
