We share some similarities, in that we were both able to accomplish some things after being injured and have difficulty maintaining relationships with girls/women. I was older when I got injured, 30 years old, so I probably had experienced quite a bit more out of life.
The chair is definitely a major obstacle as well as the paralysis, but I have seen people in your exact condition who were able to find not only a companion, but a loving partner. There may be someone out there for you, but first you need to sort out your issues with depression and lack of self-esteem. I'm really not good at talking to people who are depressed, because I often border on that feeling myself. For the most part I tried to push myself to do more and based on what you have written here it seems like you are doing quite a bit to get back to your community and earn your worth. Coaching is phenomenal. You're probably a mentor and don't even know it. Have you thought about starting a business utilizing your business degree? I have a degree in history, but it won't really help me with anything but teaching. I really wish I had business skills. Then again I could go back to school and get them, it's just a matter of getting it done I believe. There are a lot of people on here that can give you great ideas on how to maintain your sanity and try to avoid the depths of depression. Just been online and involved in groups is a wonderful start if you're really wanting to start networking. Good luck and I really hope you continue to stay in the group. Quadius PS sorry about any errors. I was writing quick and currently am still using my backup microphone. NaturallySpeaking is good, but it has its limitations when I began to speak too quickly or don't really check over what I'm writing too closely. And I will be the first one to admit that I am sometimes a little lazy when it comes to reading back over what I have written. PSS a dog is a good way to attract women. Think about getting a service dog and just go to the mall and you'll see what I mean. I don't have that ability because I have no arm movement whatsoever, but you might be able to have one. On Wed, Oct 28, 2009 at 2:07 PM, <[email protected]> wrote: > Hi Adam and Welcome Aboard! > > Regarding the other aspects of life and love. Try a pork chop or diamonds. > They are good for attracting, but not keeping. What do you have to offer in > a relationship? Women are also attracted to things that glow and glitter. > What is your glitter. After football, you have to develop a relationship > persomality. For you, I don't know where that will start but as you will > read from others... it is possible. > Again, Welcome and Congrats on your football team! > Best Wishes > > In a message dated 10/28/2009 11:23:08 A.M. Central Daylight Time, > [email protected] writes: > > Hello All, > > My name is Adam, I am a quad and have been for the past eleven years. Here > is my story. The life altering situation that changed my life was a spinal > cord injury that left me paralyzed from the chest down. The injury occurred > on August 9, 1998, five days before football camp was suppose to start for > the upcoming season. I was at a party and had been drinking heavy and I dove > into the pool there and hit my head on the bottom and broke my neck at the > C3-C4 vertebrates. I was slated to be the starting linebacker for the third > straight year at Thomas More College where I had a good chance to be a > Division 3 All-American. I spent four months in the hospital where I had > numerous feeding and breathing tubes just so I could stay alive. This injury > left me unable to feed myself, bath myself, and breathe by myself. When I > left the hospital I had relearned how to breathe and talk; I still couldn’t > use any of the mobility of my arms so I drove my wheelchair with my chin. As > of right now I drive my wheelchair with my arm and I have no breathing > problems, but I still can’t use my hands or fingers. The accident had a > devastating effect on my life because I can no longer be independent and I > am limited in what I had planned to accomplish in my life. Before the > accident happened I had planned on becoming a schoolteacher and coach, but > with the limitations I could no longer pursue the teaching job. The latter > of the two I have been performing for the last ten years of my life. The > degree of difficulty to overcome this obstacle has been extremely high and > in some cases has been overbearing. I have still managed to accomplish some > things even with my limitations. In the spring of 1999 I returned to > school and attended two classes where I scored a 4.0. In the fall of 2001 I > graduated with a degree in business administration and an overall grade > point average above 3.0. Also in 1999 I returned to the sport I love and > began coaching, I was an assistant linebacker coach and defensive > coordinator for Thomas More’s junior varsity team. The football team had > a combined record of 28-5 since the start of the 1999 season when I began to > help coaching. I have since moved to high school, but I still have the > same passion as I had before. I also do a little substitute teaching to go > along with coaching. Now that you know my story I was hoping that you could > help me with a couple issues. > > I feel like I am being punished and I am serving a sentence for something > I’ve did in this life. I mean I try to get the most out of life, but I just > can’t stop thinking that there has to be something better after this life. > Do any of you have a companion? If you don’t how do you deal with > depression of being alone? I just feel so isolated sometimes that it is > hard to bear. I have tried the on-line dating thing but no woman wants to > date a guy in a wheelchair. I just feel so undesirable. Before I got hurt > I had no trouble getting girls, but now after 11 years of being in purgatory > girls don’t even look at me, they look past me and most times won’t even > make eye contact. I feel like I have nothing else to offer or gain from > life, how do I get that sense of worth back? I feel like a disappointment > to my family and more of a burden rather than a part of the family. Any > advice would help. > > > > Thanks, > > Adam > > > > > >
