Annette .. your story sounds very similar to mine accept I have had more health issues starting in 2004 (skin breakdown and bladder stones). My husband was 15 years older than I and he had 3 kids from his previous marriage. Two of them had gone off to college and the last one was a teenager when we got married in 1997 (the year your son was born!).
Life pretty much stopped after losing the love of my life and I thought that my sister and brother-in-law would let me live with them for more than 3 years which is why I had an estate sale having to sell most all of the things that my husband had had before marrying me and after we were together but I had no other choice because I need help around-the-clock. I know things are just things but we shared everything I used everything I loved everything... most of all the 2 Golden Retrievers that we adopted together and the one that I still have but is getting older. I am thankful she is still very healthy (healthier than I am) because she is the love of my life and has gone through her Daddy's death, having to move away or move somewhere since my sister and brother-in-law asked me to move on. One day I had everything and the next day it was gone. I did not realize I was in shock 4 to 6 months after my husband passed away or if I could've seen the future I would have kept so much that we shared, collective and loved. It is rare for us females to spell out everything on the quad list but I am so glad that you shared what you did! My biggest regret is not having a child of my own or adopting one when I was younger with my ex common-law husband. My husband did not want any more children (he was 49 and I was 33 when we were married) and his kids only saw me as their fathers life since they had a mother of their own. They will e-mail me (at least the two boys will) if I e-mail them but they are both in their middle 30s with lives of their own in other states. My husband missed out on meeting 4 of his grandchildren who were just about to come and visit him the month after he passed away! We had just had his oldest son, his daughter and her husband and their first child who was 18 months old several days around Thanksgiving or Christmas 2011 because my husband passed away of a cardiac arrest in June 2012. We had purchased several gifts for his 18-month-old granddaughter for Christmas and my husband filmed her opening them and it was a nice visit and the first time he met his 18-month-old granddaughter because his daughter and her husband are so busy and live so far away. Same state but Flagstaff Arizona and we are in Tucson and that is quite a trip when you have a little one and a job to go back to (her husband and I think). She became a nurse. I think they moved to New Mexico because his job changed but I'm not sure since she does not correspond with me. Also, when my husband was still alive, she got pregnant again and began sending my husband and me the ultrasound photos so we were looking forward to another grandchild. His second oldest son was coming to visit with his wife and 4 children the following months. In fact, they had already purchased the plane tickets because they live in Connecticut... on the other side of the nation! We always see photos of them but I can't fly so my husband doesn't go there and his son is so busy with his job that it is hard to get away and then get away with 4 kids on a plane. We met their firstborn and we saw them back in 2002 and 2003 but so many different things came up in their life that they were not able to make a trip out and she was popping out one kid after another so that kept them home as well. He also had to finish his PhD (when he was 29) and get used to his job. Now they have moved to North Carolina! All I can say is for you to imagine (which of course is extremely difficult because I was in your position at one time thinking my husband was just fine and his kids were coming to visit, etc. etc. etc.) that what if something were to happen to your husband and son so they would not be with you anymore. In other words, putting yourself in my shoes and God forbid something abruptly happening to your husband & son but life throws some awful curveballs! Again, thank you for sharing Annette! What we should do on this list because it is so easy to forget is to list your name and age and who you live with and where. Just the state of course. If anyone wants to start a thread like that I would participate. Oh! And include your level of injury and the year you were injured. ~Lori On Sun, Jan 29, 2017 at 4:04 AM, Annette Storesund <[email protected]> wrote: > I know having my accident at 17 May 1981 was such a shock but being from > such a small town, they all were very supportive. I had wonderful doctors, > nurses, therapists and there were other paralyzed people at the rehab that > inspired me. Plus family, my parents, younger siblings, Aunts, Uncles, > Cousins and family from both sides came to support me and my family. I > took my first semester of my senior year at the rehab place. I got to go > home on the weekend and my parents allowed my classmates to come visit me. > The house was full the whole time. When they left, they always cleaned > up. When I got out of rehab I was able to go back to my school the 2nd > semester and graduate with my class. I waited a year and then went to > collage at ISU for 3 and half year which I made a lot of friends there. I > had such wonderful experiences there. Many of my friends from there came > to my wedding when I married my high school sweetheart, September 1986. He > moved to Las Vegas NV because he was stationed at Nellis Air Force. my > husband got out of the Air Force after 10yrs, it was too hard when he had > to got oversea for a year. We had our son June 1997 after my husband got > out of the Air Force September 1986. He got a job at the Post Office. > When our son was just over a year old, we chose to move back to Iowa to be > closer to family, October 1998,, grandparent, all our family lived close > by so our son would know them. The move was hard but like everything else, > we managed. My husband was able to transfer to an Iowa post office. We > have been here since. My husband and I celebrated our 30th anniversary > Sept 2016. Our son will be be 20 in June. Even though I have had a > few health issues, we have managed through them. In all this time I seen > how my disability helped many others see things differently. I > experienced things I never would have if I had not had my accident. I > think it was destiny for me to have this accident. The only thing I wish > was different since this accident was in my life plan God gave me, I wish I > could have hand use of my hands. The older I get my body/skin gets weaker, > prone to sores. I still find myself very Blessed. My belief in God helped > keep my on the positive road. I have gained so much. It does scare me > getting older but my husband and son have informed me that they need me so > that is more then enough to keep me going. . For those who feel at the end > of their rope, search inside and you should find a silver lining, grab that > and let it lead you to a more positive place even if it means moving, > adding a new friend or pet in. It many not be easy but life isn't easy for > many. .I hope this gives some ideas in finding a new positive road. > > > On Sat, Jan 28, 2017 at 5:22 PM, Carolyn Boyles <[email protected]> > wrote: > >> My husband of 33 years (in March) and a houseful of special needs cats. >> We couldn't have children so we started adopting special needs cats. We did >> get carried away over the years, but we younger and in better health. >> >> In a more technical sense we keep pushin' on because we haven't died >> yet.:-) >> >> I believe in God. Spinal cord injuries typically happen because of an >> accident. Each of us could easily have been killed, but we were spared. I >> think it happens for a reason. My husband thinks it's to change the path >> your life was on because it would be worse in some way. >> >> That's my two cents' worth. >> >> Carolyn >> >> > -- "Petting, scratching and cuddling a dog could be soothing to the mind and heart and deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer." ~Dean Koontz
