Re: [RR] What I should have said...

[Mike Burke]

I think that there are those with a legitimate 100% case of ADD/ADHD and there are those who just want to use it as a crutch or an excuse to cover up the fact that they are not doing the child rearing job set before them. Your job in my opinion is to be able to discern between the two scenarios.  I have ADD and I'm a Commander. I don't take drugs to control it, but I deal with it. I know I have it, I know what symptoms are and I do my darnedest to overcome and beat those symptoms.  For me, I get a level of satisfaction when I can stick my fist up at the symptoms in Victory. The Victory is in Jesus. Always has been , always will be. I know that all to often as an adult, I appear to be a scatter brain, do things 1/2 way all  the time never really accomplishing much because I for some reason always run out of steam,  find something else and get distracted by that. It was easier to do that when I was younger, but now as an adult you get held accountable for it, so that makes it all the more reason to make an effort to get the whatever it was finished. I can still get all hyped up over things to the point of where I can appear to be obnoxious about it. My mom always complained about how over enthusiastic I was. She still does but that is her job, she's my mom and she's supposed to do that.   Sometimes  the deficits can manifest themselves in things like cognitive skills and motor skills. I was given a battery of tests when I was diagnosed with this. I had to take the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory Test. (Yes, you take this one and you will remember how to spell it too.) I had to take the ink blot test (Rorschach) "Sometimes an inkblot is just an inkblot."  I took a test called the WAIS-R and I did all of this at the same time I was taking the military's ASVAB and the PSAT. The draw back to the military's ASVAB and the PSAT was that the proctors found out about the MMPI, The WAIS-R and disqualified me for those tests as they had believed on what this one Doctor had written based on my mother's non-medical opinion. This Doctor basically said I was suffering from a schizotypal personality disorder and that vices such as being involved in a church or church function would not serve me well.   I was stoked over this and viewed it as a bunch of garbage. The paper that this Doctor had written on me was offensive to me in a major way. This paper was shared from the confidentiality of my private shrink to  the shrink from the school and then it went on to my permanent record. This is what barred me from the military and college. Naturally, like all decent people, who wouldn't be upset if something so life affecting was written about them that was not truthful?  I was stoked.OK so I was a Special Ed student, so what? So my math skills aren't where they should be for someone my age, I can do the 4 basics. X+Y= tomato never meant much to me anyway and had never had a reason to need algebra out here in the real world.   Just because a kid is diagnosed with this, is not a reason to be ignorant of what it is and does. I would encourage you (the net) to read up on it. I have worked in the Ranger ministry for well over 9 years when it was said that I could never function in a church type setting. I have been married for 11 years, when it was said that I would never be able to marry because of the disorder. I have started my own business and am the President and CEO of the company, when it was said that my behaviors were destructive and wouldn't amount to high levels of productivity. I'm a member of the Fredericksburg Regional Chamber of Commerce and the American Disk Jockey Association as a mobile entertainer. I'm a 2Lt. in the Civil Air patrol, the USAF Auxiliary, we provide cadet programs, emergency services and aerospace education. I'm certified as a radio operator through the Civil Air Patrol and can operate on assigned military frequencies with a clear competence. I'm certified by the Red Cross as a Professional Rescuer, the next level up from the basic course that many folks take along with their LTC. This also has me certified in using the AED Automatic Electronic Defibrillator to restart someone if they have a heart attack.   Sixteen years ago all of these things were said about me and none of it was truthful. Look at all that has happened, It's been hard work and I have truely been blessed. I had went and had the State of Virginia's Department of Rehabilitative Services discredit and set my permanent record straight. I shot so many holes in the paper the doctor had written, went and defined every large and inflated word in a comprehensive and exhaustive manner  that surprised the State people after they had reviewed my record.     Next  time some one wants to put down a kid because of ADD/ADHD they had better stop and think again because they don't realize that that kid is a powder keg of energy if his energies can be directed and focused right.   Be Blessed!   Iron Mike     ----- Original Message ----- From: clint grant To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, May 15, 2002 3:56 PM Subject: [RR] What I should have said... Well, I definitely said the wrong thing! I got alot of heated responses which I probably deserve, and I understand the passion behind them. What I probably should have said is something more like this:   Is it possible...   That, while there definitely are some valid cases of chemical imbalances in children which can be corrected with proper medication,   And that,  while this would definitely NOT apply to anyone listening, reading, nor to anyone  related to or even slightly involved with those who may be doing so,   Is it possible that some of the cases in which a child is diagnosed with ADD or ADHD that the diagnosis could be wrong and that it could just be a case of WHATEVER? Whether that whatever be lack of proper discipline or parental control, hyperactivity, or any other of a myriad of causes?   The reason I ask is, that my son was diagnosed with ADD when we first enrolled him in school. Now, not to say that this is the only way to handle such a situation, nor to say that any other way is not correct or anything, but this is the way that I handled it, just in case anyone is interested.   I just didn't buy it. I sat down with my wife, my son, and I told them that this was a lie from hell and that we did not have to sign for it, just like a package from UPS. And then I faced the symptoms and behavior that prompted this diagnosis and applied alot of prayer, Word of God, and firm discipline and I did not back up for one moment. Those behaviors stopped. This is just what I felt that I needed to do and it worked for me. That does not mean that it is the right way, but I give all the credit to God, and thank Him for showing me what to do in my case.   Now,  I know Jeff Ortner and I know Kelly Gist. And I know thier kids, too. And thier kids are not what I would call discipline problems of any kind by any stretch of the imagination. Nor would I have known, had not my post of yesterday illicited the responses that they did, that these kids had ever been diagnosed with ADD, because from all that I have seen these kids are well mannered, well behaved children being raised in fine Christian homes.   And this is where I blew it. And I knew it as soon as I hit the "send" button. I thought to myself, I said: "Self, there is going to be someone out there who has a kid diagnosed with this and you are going to be in big trouble." And sure enough, I was!   Now, I do believe that there is medicine that can help to ease whatever symptoms are caused by chemical imbalances. I knew a guy named Harold Ray Dew that was as sweet as could be when he was taking his pills. But when he would quit, this man was psychotic, violent, you would think he was demon possessed. Maybe he was, I don't know, whatever. But the medicine worked. And I say, that if there is a parent out there who, for whatever reason, cannot control thier child, and the medicine helps, then give 'em the medicine. However, I do have concerns about ritalin, as I am sure alot of you do, too. Alot of doctors are all too quick to prescribe this stuff. And I believe that alot of them prescribe it when it should not be. Once a person has been prescribed ritalin, it goes on thier permanent record. They will never be able to obtain a gun permit. They will never be able to serve in our countries armed forces. They will be denied many of the rights which our constitution affords each and every individual. I hate to think of the consequences that will be suffered by many who were wrongly diagnosed and prescribed with this medicine. Those who are fighting in the halls of congress to protect our constitutional rights are in an uproar over this.   I have watched time after time as a parent allowed thier child to manipulate them with thier poor behavior. Even to the point that the parent had lost all control of the situation. It was no longer the parent who made the decisions it was the child, since the exasperated parent had lost whatever authority they had ever had. The children had no respect nor regard for the authority of thier parents. There was no discipline, whatsoever. I, myself, have been one of those children. Now, I know that this is not the case with any of you, we are all better than that. We all serve a risen Saviour and lean on Him for all of our guidance and the Holy Spirit directs our every move. We read God's Word and apply it to our daily lives. But each one of you knows at least one case in which what I am talking about probably applies. And I am certain that there are those of you who would, like myself, agree that this is becoming an epidemic. We are seeing more and more of it. And it is only getting worse.   Now my question is, in the cases which do not apply here, does anyone have a solution, apart from applying firm, loving discipline and the Word of God and prayer and consistent daily living, along with good practices and habits, to help these kids? Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com