You will like this one. Could be a re-run though on the RRnet. Günter [EMAIL PROTECTED] schrieb: > >A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she > >could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, > >"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me > >be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and > >fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, > >brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once > >again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me > >be late... But please don't shove me either!" > >**** > >A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on > >and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if > >we give him the money now, will he let us go?" > >**** > >A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a > >better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I > >am!" > >**** > >Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their > >fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of > >paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." > >The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a > >piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." > >The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words > >on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to > >collect all the money!" > >**** > >Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to > >hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to > >hear about the way his mother cooked. > >**** > >An elderly woman died last month. Having never > >married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten > >instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me > >out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. > >**** > >A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What > >would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for > >backup." > >**** > >A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before > >she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet > >in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." > >**** > >A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and > >Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They > >couldn't get a baby-sitter." > >**** > >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten > >Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the > >commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a > >commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" > >Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." > >**** > >At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, > >including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they > >told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the > >week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, > >Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my > >side. I think I'm going to have a wife. > >
>A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she >could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, >"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me >be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and >fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, >brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once >again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me >be late... But please don't shove me either!" >**** >A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on >and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if >we give him the money now, will he let us go?" >**** >A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if You can't make me a >better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I >am!" >**** >Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their >fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of >paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." >The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a >piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." >The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words >on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to >collect all the money!" >**** >Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to >hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to >hear about the way his mother cooked. >**** >An elderly woman died last month. Having never >married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten >instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me >out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead. >**** >A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What >would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" He said, "Call for >backup." >**** >A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before >she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet >in church?" Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping." >**** >A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and >Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They >couldn't get a baby-sitter." >**** >A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten >Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the >commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a >commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" >Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." >**** >At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, >including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they >told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the >week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, >Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my >side. I think I'm going to have a wife. >
