The Awakening
 A time comes in your life when you finally get it...
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you
stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice
inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child 
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder 
once
or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you 
begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening...
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to 
change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the 
next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are 
not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren't always fairy tale 
endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever 
after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born 
of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will 
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the 
importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process, a sense of 
new
found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you 
(or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really 
count
on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean 
or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and
that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to 
take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is 
born
of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they 
are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the 
process,
a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, 
is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into
your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about 
how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, 
what
you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and 
where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should
marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and 
raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new
worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining 
who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to 
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have 
bought into
to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power 
and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life
merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated 
ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the 
world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish 
between guilt
and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to 
say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry
and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how 
much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn
not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn 
that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or 
important
because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would 
have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you 
learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms, just to 
make
you happy.
You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You look in the mirror and come 
to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and 
you
stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over 
how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing 
things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement 
are
perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the 
things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, 
kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. You allow 
only the
hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his touch and in the 
process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care 
for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking 
more
water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes 
the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. 
Just
as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to 
laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you 
deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that 
wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it 
happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need 
direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it 
all alone
and that it's OK to risk asking for help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron 
of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your 
fears,
because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to 
fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud 
of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always
get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to 
unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalize 
things.
You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; 
it's just life happening.
You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn 
that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood 
and
redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the 
universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to 
build bridges
instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we 
take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only 
dream
about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot 
shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself
and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever 
settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your
window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep 
smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a 
stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to 
live
as best as you can.

Delma 


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