One Liner sarcastic remarks to get you through the day:

This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet,
I'll put shoes on my cats.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

A PBS mind in an MTV world.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

A woman's favorite position is CEO.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming
& you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Meandering to a different drummer. 

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else & SeekCounseling.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person


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