THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Abby watches the news every morning to check the weather and
then she discusses with her mother what they should wear or if they
need an umbrella. This past week on their way to preschool it started
to sprinkle. Abby said, "Hey, I thought it was going to rain later
in the afternoon and night." Her mom said, "Yeah, so did I. That's
what the weatherman said on TV." Abby replied, "I guess Jesus
doesn't have a TV up there." -- Mary Lehman (mother of Abby Smith) of
Kendallville, Indiana
A 3-year-old was walking with his father down the sidewalk which
leads to the entrance of Nancy's family day care home. The little
boy said, "Boy, Daddy, Nancy sure does have a lot of MEATBALLS on her
sidewalk!" (He meant acorns!) -- Nancy of Eagle, Wisconsin
Weston, 6, had been having fevers all summer. The doctors ruled
out anything truly bad, but still didn't know what was causing the
fevers. In late summer he spiked a temperature of 106 and was taken
to the emergency department. He has been having blood drawn, and a
lot of other poking and prodding done for a long time now. At the
hospital they were doing it all over again. It was 2 a.m. The
doctor told him if he didn't settle down and cooperate, she was going
to get two nurses to hold him down. Weston was in no mood to
cooperate. He looked her in the eye and said, "You'd better bring
three!" -- Kas Quimby (grandmother of Weston) of Elma, Washington
Max, 4, was peeking in his grandmother's pantry. A moment later
he came her, holding up a box of cake mix, asking innocently, "Nana,
please can I open this and have a piece of the cake?" He assumed that
there was a ready-to-eat chocolate cake, already frosted, inside the
cake mix box, because that's what the picture on front showed. --
Sandi (grandmother of Max) in Florida
Debbi approached the garbage with a pair of shoes whose bottoms
had worn through. Showing them to Anna, 13, Debbi remarked, "I think
it's time for these to go, wouldn't you say?" Anna didn't miss a
beat as she bowed her head and remorsefully replied, "Yes, the poor
soles." -- Debbi Armstrong of Florida
Dylan, 6, is doing very well so far in first grade. His father
was bragging that Dylan had made "100" on both a spelling and an
arithmetic test. When his grandparents congratulated him for being
so smart, Dylan just smiled and said, "It's because I have a big
brain!" -- Dennis Smith (PawPaw) of North Carolina
Here's another one from Dennis. Dylan's younger brother Dalton,
4, was saying the blessing at lunch. He said, "Thank you, God, for
the food and Mommy and Daddy, and Nanna and PawPaw, and the nice
weather, and the table and chairs."
When Ginger was visiting her 4-year-old grandson in Arizona she
took her coffee cup into the family room. He said, "Grandma, you
have to go to the table with your cup because it doesn't have a lid
on it. We have rules at our house you know!" -- Ginger Kennedy of
Garrett, Indiana
At the airport they were having lunch and Ginger's 4-year-old
grandson -- who is used to thanking Mommy and Daddy at meals for
whatever each has cooked -- was told to "thank Grandma for lunch."
He was confused. "I don't think I have to thank Grandma," he said.
"She didn't cook it. That lady over there did!"
Gale is the grandmother of Joshua who just turned 3. This is a
shortened version of a conversation she had with Joshua one night as
they were getting ready for Joshua to say his prayers. Joshua
commented that "Jesus and God -- they are bad." Gale said, "No, they
are good. The devil is bad." "The devil is not bad," Joshua said.
"He is just understood." Gale figured he meant "misunderstood." She
corrected Joshua and emphasized that the devil is bad. "He's not a
bad boy any more, Grandma," Joshua said. "You just must of missed
that part." Gale says she has no idea where Joshua came up with
those ideas! -- Gale Spence of Angola, Indiana
Diane's grandson was on a flight from Chicago to Fort Myers as
an unaccompanied minor. He was about 5. To try to keep him busy,
the people around him started talking to him. When asked why he was
going to Florida he said, "To see Grandma Di." The passengers were
dismayed. It later became clear to them that he was going to visit
his Grandma Diane! The flight attendant was laughing as she escorted
him from the plane to the family's waiting arms! She couldn't wait
to tell the story. -- Darlene Clark (mother of Grandma Di) of Lehigh
Acres, Florida
Wendy's fiancé (and later her husband) Graeme was 16 years older
than his baby sister Leanne who had just turned 4. Wendy was trying
out a friend's wedding gown and came out to parade it. With her blue
eyes getting bigger by the minute, Leanne breathlessly declared that
Wendy looked beautiful. She then decided she wanted to also get
married and pondered on a prospective bridegroom. An idea dawned and
she stated that she would marry "Daddy." Her mother quashed the idea
by informing her that Daddy was already married to Mummy. Undaunted,
she triumphantly stated that she would marry her brother Graeme. Her
mother told her that she couldn't as he was about to marry Wendy.
Undeterred, she then chose her older sister Helen's fiancé and once
again was told that he was engaged to marry Helen. In sheer
desperation, she sobbed as there was absolutely no man left that she
knew she could marry! (Leanne is now in her 30's and happily married
to Stuart.) -- Wendy Robinson of Sydney, Australia
This story comes from England -- and it actually closely
resembles a story shared with me a number of years ago by northeast
Indiana family. (It shows how kinds minds around the world work
alike!) Fiona was trained as an art teacher and a Montessori
teacher in Dublin, Ireland, and this is where this story occurred.
She was working with 3 and 4 year-olds in the weeks prior to
Christmas and they all painted nativity pictures. Fiona was
wandering about helping a child here, commenting there. "Look at the
wonderful star!" she told one little boy. Then she noticed what
appeared to be an "aeroplane" (spelled the British way) in the sky.
"What's that?" Fiona asked, thinking that she would have to explain
that in those days there were no aeroplanes. "That's Pontious the
Pilot," the little boy replied. -- Fiona Pinsker (now in Bristol,
England)
This next story took me a moment to "get." But it's cute.
Mindy's son Sawyer, 3, was with her when she went to mail a letter.
When he asked her what she was doing, she said, "I have to mail a
letter." He asked, "Is it a 'W?'" -- Mindy Spiridon of Garden City,
Michigan
John, who is 50, remembers when he was 5 and his dad said, "Let
me smooth down your cow lick." John immediately asked, "Was it one
of Mr. Regan's cows that licked me?" -- John of Lafayette, Louisiana
Cindy's daughter and family are big Georgia Bulldogs (University
of Georgia) fans. Georgia's school colors are red and black.
Cindy's granddaughter Amber, 4, just loves the "Dawgs," as she calls
them. Kelli, her mom, took Amber and Briana, 1, to the doctor for a
check-up. Amber had to add her 2 cents to everything Kelli was
saying to the doctor. Kelli was telling the doctor that Amber is
very creative with crayons. Kelli told the doctor that Amber had
taken a red crayon and a black crayon and decorated her kitchen floor
with them. Without missing a beat, Amber yelled, "GO DAWGS!" --
Cindy Waters of Middleburg, Florida
Five-year-old Kendall prides herself on her early reading skill.
During the family's recent vacation to Florida, she practiced reading
the street signs. When she came to University Dr. she read
University Road. "No," said brother Arrin. "Remember road is
abbreviated Rd." Kendall quickly corrected herself: "Oh, yes, that
says Dr. So it must be University Doctor." -- Rebecca Hayes
(grandmother of Kendall) of Newtown Square, Pennsylvania
Robert was helping his granddaughters get dried after swimming
in the pool. The girls began to bicker. He told them, "If you girls
don't stop arguing I'm going to go home." Becka, 6, didn't
understand, but Kaylea, 5, quick spoke up, "But this is your home!"
and grinned at him. -- Jean and Robert Felfe of Spicewood, Texas
lr smiles
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