On the Lighter Side...

Please and Thank You

While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new 
bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son with her. Everyone 
gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I 
have some money to buy a soda?" "What do you say?" she asked. 
Respectfully, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful." The woman 
reached in her purse and gave her son the money.

Too Effective

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always 
late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if 
he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave 
him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept 
well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. 
He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he 
said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine," said the boss, 
"But where were you yesterday?"

Running Late

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she 
could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let 
me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb 
and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got 
up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she 
once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be 
late...But please don't shove me either!"

Money for the Pastor

A little boy was given a five dollar bill to put in the collection 
plate. When the offering came around, he wouldn't put it in. But 
after the end of the service, when he went to shake the pastor's 
hand, he pulled out the five dollar bill and gave it to the pastor. 
The pastor asked him, "Why are you giving me this money? Why didn't 
you put it in the offering plate?" And the boy answered, "Because my 
mommy told me you're the poorest pastor we've ever had!"

Happy New Year From Steve.
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