On the Lighter Side...

Last Request

Attending church in Kentucky, we watched an especially verbal and 
boisterous child being hurried out, slung under his irate father's 
arm. No one in the congregation so much as raised an eyebrow -- until 
the child captured everyone's attention by crying out in a charming 
Southern accent, "Ya'll pray for me now!"

Leftovers

The minister's wife was a wonder at conserving food and rarely had to 
throw away a bit of it. At one meal she gave her pastor husband 
nothing but leftovers that the parson viewed with great disdain. He 
began to pick at the food, causing his wife to say, "Dear, you forgot 
the blessing." "Listen, sweetheart, if you can show me one item that 
hasn't been blessed at least two times, I can't see what another 
prayer can do for it."

Building Plans

Recently, when a hospital panel, made up of doctors, was asked to 
vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, this is what happened....

The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The parasitologists said, "well, if you encyst."
The pathologists yelled, "over my dead body!"
The pediatricians said, "grow up."
The proctologists said, "we are in arrears."
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, "this puts a whole new face on the matter."
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
And the cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

The new wing didn't fly!

Done With Class

Even though I'm well into my 30s, I still stop by my parents house to 
mow their lawn. One afternoon the young kid next door was cutting his 
grass at the same time. "It's punishment for skipping a day of 
school," he explained. Then he asked me, "Why are you still doing 
your folks' yard?" "Because I once cut a class when I was your age," 
I said trying to keep a straight face. I'm told he's had perfect 
attendance ever since.

 Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
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