On the Lighter Side...

Hungry?

An enthusiastic door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the 
first house in his new territory. He knocks and a lady opens the 
door. Before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and 
dumps garden soil all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum 
cleaner doesn't do wonders cleaning this up, I'll eat every bit of 
it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on 
that?" The salesman says, "Why do you ask?" She says, "We just moved 
in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."

French Dream

A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage 
him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it 
when you start dreaming in French." The boy ran into class one day 
all excited, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and 
everyone was talking in French." "Great," said the teacher; "what 
were they saying?" "I don't know," the boy replied. "I couldn't 
understand them."

Special Treatment

Have you heard of the Black Bumper Mennonites? They paint the chrome 
bumpers on their autos black so they're not so flashy. Have you heard 
that they don't pay tolls while traveling on the Pennsylvania 
Turnpike? It's true. They pay them when they get off, just like everyone else.

Where There's a Will...

A woman was bitten by a mad dog and was advised to make a will 
because there was a possibility of rabies. She wrote furiously for 
two hours. "It looks like an unusually long will," her lawyer said. 
"Who's writing a will?" she snapped. "This is a list of people I want to bite!"

Planning Ahead

A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by an 
honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she 
commented, "That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in 
it. Now there are 20 $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's 
right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have 
any change to give me a reward."

 Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
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