On the Lighter Side...

Putting On Appearances

During a recent meeting of our Optimist Club, we challenged one 
another to come up with an inspirational sentence using the word 
countenance. This was the winning entry: "I put a cheerful 
countenance on people every day." It was submitted by our local 
funeral director.

Message Received

My cell phone quit as I tried to let my wife know that I was caught 
in freeway gridlock and would be late for our anniversary dinner. I 
wrote a message on my laptop asking other motorists to call her, 
printed it on a portable inkjet and taped it to my rear windshield. 
When I finally arrived home, my wife gave me the longest kiss ever. 
"I really think you love me," she said. "At least 70 people called 
and told me so."

Count On It

Recently while we were eating lunch after church one Sunday, my 
youngest son asked me what the highest number I had ever counted up 
to was. I said I didn't know. Then I asked him how high he has 
counted. "5,372," came the prompt reply. "Oh," I said. "Why did you 
stop there?" "The sermon was over."

How Well Does Cold Water Clean?

A young man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very 
secluded, rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the 
night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs 
and bacon. He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he 
questioned Grandpa, "Are these plates clean?" Grandpa replied, "Those 
plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish 
your meal." That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his 
grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of 
his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yokes. So he 
asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?" Without looking 
up from his hamburger, the grandfather huffed, "I told you before, 
those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now stop being 
so picky!" Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner 
in a nearby restaurant. As he was leaving, Grandpa's dog started to 
growl and wouldn't let him pass. He yelled back, "Grandpa, your dog 
won't let me out!" So Grandpa shouted, "COLD WATER, GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up 
an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of your friendship.
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