Hi Everyone,

First and most important thing, in my initial mail, I did not mean to make
any personal remark against Amit or someone else. I only want to say, that I
did not deserve the kind of behaviour that I have had to face. And this was
something that was not professional or transparent. Not transparent because
the work that i was doing was taken away from me without even asking or
telling me anything. I did not mean anything else (especially not in the
sense they have been comprehended) by those words.

Never in my dreams, never in my life have I got to see so many things
written about me at any place. I prefer to work behind the scene, to the
best of my abilities. I don`t want to boast about myself. But there are
certain things, which I want to share with everyone, before leaving.

It was really strange to know that people lost their trust over me without
even letting me know that. I have one question to ask. Did anyone care to
confirm about the progress of the website from me before drawing any
conclusions? If conclusions are drawn on false premises, then whose fault is
it?

As a matter of fact, I was not* invisible* for the so called 27 days period,
5th september onwards. I was reachable on phone and mail if someone would
have tried to contact me. I was working on the website of Sanskaari,
whenever I got time, since I had all the resources required to make the
website (Though the work done was not as much as I wud have liked). I was
doing this work with one more guy (I informed Amit about it), and he was
having exams during that period, so I thought it was fine to wait for some
more time before getting on with things finally. And as far as responding to
group mails are concerned, please show me a single mail where my reply was
expected regarding the website and I did`nt reply.  No one ever expressed
any kind of urgency for the website during the whole period. Now it is being
said that I should have understood abt the urgency due to the fact that the
content for the website was posted on grp after only 7 hrs of my mail. I am
unable to understand the logic behind this sentence.  I also expressed my
apology for not being able to give any updates during that period in my mail
on 2nd oct. That apology has gone unnoticed.

I appreciate the prompt response I got for my mail when I asked for
suggestions. I also started working over it immediately after that though
others won`t have known abt it. I want to tell you that I also wanted to
have a website of Sanskaari as soon as possible, but i also wanted to ensure
quality. I considered it my duty and responsibility to complete the work I
had committed for. This is the reason, why I was still working over it one
month before my CAT exam. And I want to emphasize that I was doing it for
myself as much as for Sanskaari. If I am feeling so hurt and disillusioned
right now due to this fact that the members of Sanskaari lost their trust
over me, it is only because of the level to which I attached myself to
Sanskaari and to my work. Trust me, I wanted to do it in best possible
manner. If Sanskaari does`nt find me competent enough, then I don`t have any
problem. I just wanted to say, if I would have been informed abt it a bit
earlier, things would have been much better than they are right now. About 4
days ago, I shared everything I had done till then with Rohit Sapra since he
stays near my house and I was unable to contact Amit over his phone. I was
almost 70% done with the Sanskaari website and now I m being told that my
website is being scrapped. No one even found it necessary to even tell me
about it while I spent so much of time working over it in last 7-8 days.

If I won`t have been responsible and commited towards my promises, then u
won`t have had such kind of reaction from my side. I would have been a lot
happier doing away with my responsibility. But it is`nt and never was the
case.

I realize that the work I have done for Sanskaari till now is much lesser
than that done by most of the members. But this is also a fact, that I
worked whole nights sorting out pics, selecting and redesigning templates
even when I had to attend my coaching class next day. Trust me, there have
been 3-4 such nights. This is small indeed, but I cannot accept the fact
that it does`nt deserve any respect or appreciation. I never imagined I
would need to explain my small contribution in so much detail ever. I have
never done that before, but today I felt it is required.

I feel that this kind of behaviour (taking work from me and giving it to
someone else without even informing me) was against professionalism and
transparency, the things which one expects from an organisation like
Sanskaari. And as far as my own Credibility and Professionalism are
concerned, I would like to give an explanation if others would care to read.

What I m sharing with u here is from the depth of my heart. I joined
Sanskaari 3 months ago, with only one thing in mind. I have to do something.
Something, not for the country, not for society and not even for Sanskaari,
but for myself. I wanted to improve myself, challenge myself and know the
deeper meaning of life. And I felt that Sanskaari will help me do that. I
questioned myself, "How can I be of use to Sanskaari?" I found the website
work an obvious answer. But, I did not want to stop there. So I asked Amit
that I will work for Pathshaala and YLM projects also. I wanted to be
involved at ground work also. No one asked me to do it. I took the
responsibility.

My mistake was that perhaps I expected too much from myself given the
situation I was in. I had left my job to prepare for CAT and to learn from
the experience of working on ground like the work that is done in Sanskaari.
Now in such situations, one has to maintain balance between the things. And
yes, I accept the fact that most of the members in Sanskaari give more time
on ground than I do, even while they have many other things to care for. But
here, I would like to draw an analogy.

Suppose if a person`s income is 1,00,000 Rs per month and he donates Rs
10000 for charity every month. There is another person, whose income is just
Rs 10,000 per month and he somehow manages to give Rs 1000 per month. Whose
contribution is more valuable? Obviously of the first one in today`s
scenario. But there is one thing that I wish to ask. Can we not give even a
slight amount of respect for the latter person, even though his contribution
is smaller.

*About the Ground projects* like Pathshala and YLM, I feel that our
organisation is a voluntary organisation. Here, people do things because
they want to do them. If such kind of questionings and comments are done on
the work done by people, the whole purpose of volunteering gets defeated. It
is as good as comparing the donations given by the people without comparing
their capacities. And since u never know about anyone`s capacity, U don`t
have a right to comment abt that. If taking the responsibility of YLM and
Pathshala were my mistakes, then probably they were. I myself did`nt know
before taking that responsibility that I won`t be able to fulfil them bcoze
of such a busy schedule. There was no such intention to cheat anyone by
creating so called false promises or things like that. And neither would it
have been a loss to Sanskaari if I tried and could`nt do rather than if i
wud`nt have tried at all.

*About the membership fees*, I accept my mistake over this point. I won`t
defend myself here. I got late to deposit my membership fees. I have given
my membership fees due till date to Rohit Sapra on Friday. I feel sincerely
apologetic for not remembering to submit it on time.

I don`t have anything else to say. I just wanted to clear my heart and I
have done that. Thanks.

-- 
Rohit

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