RE: Loki is at rest
Thank you ALL so very muchfor your kinds words. I don't thing I believe in anything anymore, but I wish with every fiber of my being, Loki and all our kitties are playing happily in a less cruel world and hope Loki is alsonear to me at the same time. I do know he became a part of my soul. I am at home all the time, but had to go out this morning to do some volunteer work. I discovered it is easier to be away from home. When I am home, there are to many reminders that a part of my soul is missing, that there is noLoki to come running to greet me. Yet hereI am. I cannot yet quell the uneasiness in my gut quite yet. I'm going through my angry faze right now. I guess it is good to yell and get it out. I know I will get through this eventually. Once again, thanks for all your kind words. Bless all of you. Steve
Re: Loki is at rest (From Terrie sorry so long)
Steve, I just read your original posting along with this on your sweet furangel Loki. I'm sorry for not responding until now been away from the computer. I shedsome tears as I write this to you. I had paid closed attention to all your postingsabout Loki. Had hope like hell Loki would be around a long time for you. I know how special he was to you. You were a great Daddy to him. Yes, it is hard to come home without seeing your precious furbaby. It is rough it won't easy because there is constant reminders of him. I too when I lost my Taz was bitter for quite awhile. It was a year before I could talk about him openly without crying. My husband told me to take all my negative energy andturn into positve energy. I finally realized what he meant by it...thought nothing of it at first that he couldn't understand how I felt. (Which was false he loved Taz too) In time I did do as he said to do. I chose to deal with Siameses that are homeless. There are more out there than people realize in shelters. I think California has the worst everyday I get a list of Siameses that are sitting in shelters there. Ages from a baby kitten thru senior kitties. I had a Animal Communicator contact me awhile back regarding my losses of Taz and Smokey. The A.C. mentioned: Taz will arrive when I least expect it. That what I did for him he isn't angry or upset with me. Not to feel bad or sorry that I put him through the surgery to try and save him. He said that he was ready to leave his body because it couldn't take the illness anymore. He also said that no matter how much money I spent he wouldn't be the same as he was before the surgery. It does give me some closure butI will always wonder though. I do have some faith in A.C.'s because when I lost my Smokey on Jan. 27th2005 they mentioned certain things only I knew about him and never spoke of to others beside my husband. It was kinda eerie but it was the truth about certain beds, colors, and how he was devoted to me. He was tired after being in his body for 19yrs. Once again, I have 6 male siameses only one barely comes close to my Taz. But I'm not looking for him in them. I did go that route in the begining believe me it doesn't work that way. I think God put him in my care temporary to help others in need. That in time I will get my reward for doing so. This is what my conclusion came to after I have thought it over and over again. I don't knowwho's to say. I have Taz's ashes with me in my computer room along with his photos to view when I start feeling down that gives me hope again. (Smokey ashes too) (I'm not a religious person even though I have Catholic/Presbytarian in my background) Taz was my pride and joy. He is the reason I decided to makemy rescue and transport business official. I have been doing it a long time prior to getting him but it was private. Please give yourself some healing time to grieve over Loki it is normal to feel the way you do. I'm so sorry about yourfurbaby "Loki" though...so sad. I hope in time you can find it in your heart to overcome the bitterness like I have. Vent all you want if thats what youneed to do. I will listen if you would like to talk Bless you for caring and loving him. He is free now playing with the butterflies as Taz and the others show him the way. The time will come when you two will be together again. In a message dated 4/1/2005 1:41:18 PM Pacific Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: Thank you ALL so very muchfor your kinds words. I don't thing I believe in anything anymore, but I wish with every fiber of my being, Loki and all our kitties are playing happily in a less cruel world and hope Loki is alsonear to me at the same time. I do know he became a part of my soul. I am at home all the time, but had to go out this morning to do some volunteer work. I discovered it is easier to be away from home. When I am home, there are to many reminders that a part of my soul is missing, that there is noLoki to come running to greet me. Yet hereI am. I cannot yet quell the uneasiness in my gut quite yet. I'm going through my angry faze right now. I guess it is good to yell and get it out. I know I will get through this eventually. Once again, thanks for all your kind words. Bless all of you. Steve Terrie MohrCheck site for available Siameses for adoption!http://www.iGive.com/TAZZYShttps://www.paypal.com/TAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTShttp://www.tazzys-siameses-collies.petfinder.org/http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wasiameserescuehttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/index.htmlhttp://hometown.aol.com/tatorbunz/myhomepage/petmemorial.htmlTAZZY'S ANIMAL TRANSPORTSSIAMESE COLLIE RESCUEOwner/DriverPetfinder.comAdopt a Homeless
Loki is at rest
Mylast little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday. For the past two weeks, my every waking moment and thought has been for and aboutLoki. I did put him on Prednisone a week ago and it initial seemed to help, but very quickly it was as before. I then called the vet and we doubled his dosage. Once again, it initially seemed to help--though he seemed "drugged" this time--then quickly faded to his former uncomfortable state. At no time, did the Pred noticeably shrink thelarge tumor impeding his little lungs. I had been letting him outside to wander in the tall spring grass (weeds) all around the house. He loved it and it was agreat distraction and wonderfulsensory stimulation for him. If Loki did not have these wonderful days, I may have PTS sooner, as the nights were uncomfortable for him--he could no longer lay on his side and his lungs were pumping hard all the time. Yesterday, too many changes took place: He was not enjoying the out-of-doors like he had been, I did not see him drink wateror eat his dry food, he didn't want to bend down to eat his chicken baby food treat (had to hold it up for him), and for the first time, he had a slightly open mouth. At most other times during the day, he was lying or sitting with labored breathing and looking very tired. I felt it was the right time to stop subjecting Loki's system to new measures, so I made the agonizing decision. My 10 month, 10 day old Loki went peacefully and quickly and is now buried next to his sister under "their" oak tree. My beautiful brown/dark gray tiger kitty had a special personality, quite different, but just as wonderful as his orange tabby sister Leeloo. Both were chosen from the litter my sister and nieces were raising because their stars seemed toburn very bright. These kittens--thesmallest of the litter--had unusually beautiful little souls. Loki also had a smell, as his sister did; not the perfume my girl kitty Leeloo had, but the smoky earthy scent of a boy kitty. Perhaps like air smells during the first rain on dry soil. One could say his scent tended a tiny bit toward chocolate and even cinnamon, like one lister noticed of her boy kitty. I will miss him jumping up to lay at the back of my neck and bending aroundto rub his face against mine, purring all the while;coming to lay on his pillow at the side of my computer to be near me; and turning over to rub his back on the floor and to get his belly rubbed. I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. Steve
Re: Loki is at rest
aw, steve, i'm sorry. i've been sending GLOW (which is white light/healing/good thoughts/love/prayers/whatever anyone wants or needs it to be) for you and loki. GLOW always works--just not always in the way that we humans want. guess this time it was to make his transition easy, to light his way to the Bridge, and to help heal your aching heart. fly sweetly, loki darling! MC
RE: Loki is at rest
Dear Steve. I am so very sorry I cant stop crying reading your email, and thinking of Loki. Its just way too difficult to deal with, too painful to live with. I wish I could find better words to make you feel better. But I will be morning with you, Steve. Please know though, Lokis soul is still there, right besides you. -Original Message- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Steve Williams Sent: Thursday, March 31, 2005 1:52 PM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: Loki is at rest Mylast little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday. For the past two weeks, my every waking moment and thought has been for and aboutLoki. I did put him on Prednisone a week ago and it initial seemed to help, but very quickly it was as before. I then called the vet and we doubled his dosage. Once again, it initially seemed to help--though he seemed drugged this time--then quickly faded to his former uncomfortable state. At no time, did the Pred noticeably shrink thelarge tumor impeding his little lungs. I had been letting him outside to wander in the tall spring grass (weeds) all around the house. He loved it and it was agreat distraction and wonderfulsensory stimulation for him. If Loki did not have these wonderful days, I may have PTS sooner, as the nights were uncomfortable for him--he could no longer lay on his side and his lungs were pumping hard all the time. Yesterday, too many changes took place: He was not enjoying the out-of-doors like he had been, I did not see him drink wateror eat his dry food, he didn't want to bend down to eat his chicken baby food treat (had to hold it up for him), and for the first time, he had a slightly open mouth. At most other times during the day, he was lying or sitting with labored breathing and looking very tired. I felt it was the right time to stop subjecting Loki's system to new measures, so I made the agonizing decision. My 10 month, 10 day old Loki went peacefully and quickly and is now buried next to his sister under their oak tree. My beautiful brown/dark gray tiger kitty had a special personality, quite different, but just as wonderful as his orange tabby sister Leeloo. Both were chosen from the litter my sister and nieces were raising because their stars seemed toburn very bright. These kittens--thesmallest of the litter--had unusually beautiful little souls. Loki also had a smell, as his sister did; not the perfume my girl kitty Leeloo had, but the smoky earthy scent of a boy kitty. Perhaps like air smells during the first rain on dry soil. One could say his scent tended a tiny bit toward chocolate and even cinnamon, like one lister noticed of her boy kitty. I will miss him jumping up to lay at the back of my neck and bending aroundto rub his face against mine, purring all the while;coming to lay on his pillow at the side of my computer to be near me; and turning over to rub his back on the floor and to get his belly rubbed. I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. Steve
Re: Loki is at rest
Oh, Steve...I am so sorry...it's a good thing I work alone, because I'm absolutely crying my eyeballs out right now... :( It's wonderful people like you that make this world a more bearable place to be. I know Loki hasn't gone far and that you two will see each other again someday...oh, I'm crying again...just know that he's not alone, his sister as well as all of our furbabies who have gone before are with him sharing embarassing stories about their non-furparents! Take care, you and Loki are in my thoughts, Jen - Original Message - From: Steve Williams [EMAIL PROTECTED] Date: Thursday, March 31, 2005 2:52 pm Subject: Loki is at rest My last little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday. For the past two weeks, my every waking moment and thought has been for and about Loki. I did put him on Prednisone a week ago and it initial seemed to help, but very quickly it was as before. I then called the vet and we doubled his dosage. Once again, it initially seemed to help-- though he seemed drugged this time--then quickly faded to his former uncomfortablestate. At no time, did the Pred noticeably shrink the large tumor impeding his little lungs. I had been letting him outside to wander in the tall spring grass (weeds)all around the house. He loved it and it was a great distraction and wonderful sensory stimulation for him. If Loki did not have these wonderfuldays, I may have PTS sooner, as the nights were uncomfortable for him--he could no longer lay on his side and his lungs were pumping hard all the time. Yesterday, too many changes took place: He was not enjoying the out-of-doors like he had been, I did not see him drink water or eat his dry food, he didn't want to bend down to eat his chicken baby food treat (had to hold it up for him), and for the first time, he had a slightly open mouth. At most other times during the day, he was lying or sitting with labored breathingand looking very tired. I felt it was the right time to stop subjecting Loki's system to new measures, so I made the agonizing decision. My 10 month, 10 day old Loki went peacefully and quickly and is now buried next to his sister under their oak tree. My beautiful brown/dark gray tiger kitty had a special personality, quite different, but just as wonderful as his orange tabby sister Leeloo. Both were chosen from the litter my sister and nieces were raising because their stars seemed to burn very bright. These kittens--the smallest of the litter--had unusually beautiful little souls. Loki also had a smell, as his sister did; not the perfume my girl kitty Leeloo had, but the smoky earthy scent of a boy kitty. Perhaps like air smells during the first rain on dry soil. One could say his scent tended a tiny bit toward chocolate and even cinnamon, like one lister noticed of her boy kitty. I will miss him jumping up to lay at the back of my neck and bending around to rub his face against mine, purring all the while; coming to lay on his pillow at the side of my computer to be near me; and turning over to rub his back on the floor and to get his belly rubbed. I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. Steve
RE: Loki is at rest
I am so sorry Steve, at least there will be no more pain, my heart goes out to you. CherieHideyo Yamamoto [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: Dear Steve. I am so very sorry I cant stop crying reading your email, and thinking of Loki. Its just way too difficult to deal with, too painful to live with. I wish I could find better words to make you feel better. But I will be morning with you, Steve. Please know though, Lokis soul is still there, right besides you. -Original Message-From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Steve WilliamsSent: Thursday, March 31, 2005 1:52 PMTo: felvtalk@felineleukemia.orgSubject: Loki is at rest Mylast little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday. For the past two weeks, my every waking moment and thought has been for and aboutLoki. I did put him on Prednisone a week ago and it initial seemed to help, but very quickly it was as before. I then called the vet and we doubled his dosage. Once again, it initially seemed to help--though he seemed "drugged" this time--then quickly faded to his former uncomfortable state. At no time, did the Pred noticeably shrink thelarge tumor impeding his little lungs. I had been letting him outside to wander in the tall spring grass (weeds) all around the house. He loved it and it was agreat distraction and wonderfulsensory stimulation for him. If Loki did not have these wonderful days, I may have PTS sooner, as the nights were uncomfortable for him--he could no longer lay on his side and his lungs were pumping hard all the time. Yesterday, too many changes took place: He was not enjoying the out-of-doors like he had been, I did not see him drink wateror eat his dry food, he didn't want to bend down to eat his chicken baby food treat (had to hold it up for him), and for the first time, he had a slightly open mouth. At most other times during the day, he was lying or sitting with labored breathing and looking very tired. I felt it was the right time to stop subjecting Loki's system to new measures, so I made the agonizing decision. My 10 month, 10 day old Loki went peacefully and quickly and is now buried next to his sister under "their" oak tree. My beautiful brown/dark gray tiger kitty had a special personality, quite different, but just as wonderful as his orange tabby sister Leeloo. Both were chosen from the litter my sister and nieces were raising because their stars seemed toburn very bright. These kittens--thesmallest of the litter--had unusually beautiful little souls. Loki also had a smell, as his sister did; not the perfume my girl kitty Leeloo had, but the smoky earthy scent of a boy kitty. Perhaps like air smells during the first rain on dry soil. One could say his scent tended a tiny bit toward chocolate and even cinnamon, like one lister noticed of her boy kitty. I will miss him jumping up to lay at the back of my neck and bending aroundto rub his face against mine, purring all the while;coming to lay on his pillow at the side of my computer to be near me; and turning over to rub his back on the floor and to get his belly rubbed. I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. Steve
Re: Loki is at rest
Oh Steve, I'm writing this through tears and wishing I could be by your side, to cry with you and hold your hand. I'm so, so sorry you lost your little loves. I'm glad you have some good memories of Loki's last days with you, (I can picture him exploring the tall grass), and it does give some comfort, to me, when I know I've done everything possible to save them, I hope it does you too. I don't know if you believe in this, or not, but I've been told that sometimes our animal friends come back to us. If it's true, I'm sure Loki and Leelo will be back, this time in strong, healthy bodies to spend many, many happy years with you. You're such a wonderful dad. I'm sending all my love and sympathy to you, I wish there were something else I could say or do, but all I can think of is to tell you, I understand. Much love, Nina Steve Williams wrote: My last little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday. For the past two weeks, my every waking moment and thought has been for and about Loki. I did put him on Prednisone a week ago and it initial seemed to help, but very quickly it was as before. I then called the vet and we doubled his dosage. Once again, it initially seemed to help--though he seemed drugged this time--then quickly faded to his former uncomfortable state. At no time, did the Pred noticeably shrink the large tumor impeding his little lungs. I had been letting him outside to wander in the tall spring grass (weeds) all around the house. He loved it and it was a great distraction and wonderful sensory stimulation for him. If Loki did not have these wonderful days, I may have PTS sooner, as the nights were uncomfortable for him--he could no longer lay on his side and his lungs were pumping hard all the time. Yesterday, too many changes took place: He was not enjoying the out-of-doors like he had been, I did not see him drink water or eat his dry food, he didn't want to bend down to eat his chicken baby food treat (had to hold it up for him), and for the first time, he had a slightly open mouth. At most other times during the day, he was lying or sitting with labored breathing and looking very tired. I felt it was the right time to stop subjecting Loki's system to new measures, so I made the agonizing decision. My 10 month, 10 day old Loki went peacefully and quickly and is now buried next to his sister under their oak tree. My beautiful brown/dark gray tiger kitty had a special personality, quite different, but just as wonderful as his orange tabby sister Leeloo. Both were chosen from the litter my sister and nieces were raising because their stars seemed to burn very bright. These kittens--the smallest of the litter--had unusually beautiful little souls. Loki also had a smell, as his sister did; not the perfume my girl kitty Leeloo had, but the smoky earthy scent of a boy kitty. Perhaps like air smells during the first rain on dry soil. One could say his scent tended a tiny bit toward chocolate and even cinnamon, like one lister noticed of her boy kitty. I will miss him jumping up to lay at the back of my neck and bending around to rub his face against mine, purring all the while; coming to lay on his pillow at the side of my computer to be near me; and turning over to rub his back on the floor and to get his belly rubbed. I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. Steve
Re: Loki is at rest
I am so sorry, Steve. You have suffered unending loss. Michelle
Re: Loki is at rest
My heart breaks for you Steve. We all know the pain you are feeling now. You will be in my prayers. I really believe Loki is with his sister LeeLoo and you will see them again. Sheila inline: Clouds.jpg
RE: Loki is at rest
I will be morning his loss for a long time... I can't see a time when I will stop. I know my pain will ease eventually and I know there will soon be a time that I will no longer be exhausted from crying. I loved my little Loki like there was no tomorrow. I am so sorry Steve, I lost the one of my fur children I was closest to in Novemeber and it was heartbreaking. Looks like my FELV+ kitty may not have real long as it stands now, unless he makes a drastic change for the better... It's so tough to lose them... Steph
Re: Loki is at rest
Steve, my heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry. He was so young, too young, but he had a charmed, well-loved life with you. Gloria At 02:52 PM 3/31/2005, you wrote: My last little love is gone. I had to put him to sleep late yesterday.
Re: Loki is at rest
Dear Steve, My heart goes out to you and no words will diminish your pain sorrow. But I believe you are the BEST cat-dad ever for all you've done for your babies. I lost my Ethan due to the same thing I like to think of him now healthy and happy and just romping in a big meadow with all our other furangels. And I know all of us will be greeted w/ love kisses in a wonderful reunion when we cross The Bridge and are reunited. I will continue to keep yoo in my prayers, please take care of yourself. Fondly, Patti
